Women And Gay Men Of Actualized.org, What Makes A Man Sexy?

[h inandout]

On 3/8/2017 at 6:13 PM, blazed said:

Money, End of Story.

No.

Ostentatiousness is most definitely a turn off.  I've mostly dated men who make less than me.  You can look put together on a budget.  You can be kind for free.  You can be confident and charming for free.  You can always make more time to communicate effectively, for free.  You can go for walks and talk about deep subjects for free.  You can look deep into her eyes and tell her how beautiful her soul is and how much you believe in her, for free.

Edited March 10, 2017 by MissMiki

[h inandout]

Yes, I find this guy so deliciously charming.  Love is the nourishment.  Sexy is for dessert.

Edited March 10, 2017 by MissMiki

[Key Elements]

On 07/03/2017 at 0:08 PM, abgespaced said:

Good lists ladies!

 

Now recategorise your answers according to:

1. What in a man attracts you

2. What in a man arouses you

 

They are not the same.

Hmm..ok, the list of qualities that I came up with is from my experience of being married to my husband (17 yrs.) If he had a 6-pack, it'll be awesome (maybe), but that will only be an addition. If he was missing any of those qualities, it'll be a big no no.

[Loreena]

                       The secret -        "Eyes make all the difference " not convinced yet !!!!!!!!!!!!  Look

                                                               

[Key Elements]

A sexy couple:

Now, think about it. Leo likes to use Luke Skywalker in describing the "Hero's Journey / Life purpose."

[Key Elements]

On 09/03/2017 at 8:31 AM, abgespaced said:

I assume this thread was started in order to develop sexual wisdom by gaining insight into the minds of women by asking them what they like.

Logically it makes sense. "I want sex -> women have the sex I want -> I'll ask women want they find sexy -> get the sex I want".

Problem is, this is a very male way of thinking. This is how men solve problems. It is not how women think, communicate or reveal themselves.

So, in the interest of supporting the men coming to this thread looking for answers, I am about to reveal some uncomfortable truths. The fallout won't be pretty.

 

On the whole, the above responses by the women are not what they find sexy in a man. Rather, they have listed what they find attractive.

Attraction happens between lovers, yes. It also happens between friends, family and even different species. It is obviously not a direct cause of sexual arousal.

Know now that it is almost impossible for women to communicate the truth about what arouses them. I.e. what they find sexy. 

One reason is that their ovulatory cycle keeps them guessing; their biological impetus for choosing a mate changes as their hormone levels fluctuate. 

What they find "sexy" in one phase of their ovulatory cycle will differ from what they find "sexy" in another phase of their ovulatory cycle.

This is an uncomfortable truth for women. Luckily there are now at least 50 studies that back this up. Dr. Martie Haselton is a notable scientist in this field. Her study on Human Estrus can be found here: http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/comm/haselton/unify_uploads/files/gangestad and haselton current opinion 12-1-14 in press.pdf

 

Previous research had found that women find male confidence, even a degree of arrogance, more sexually appealing during the fertile phase [e.g., 15-16]. Recent studies replicate and extend that work, finding not only that fertile-phase women are more sexually attracted to “sexy cad” or behaviorally masculine men (relative to “good dad” or less masculine men), but also that, during the fertile phase, women are more likely to flirt or engage with such men [17,18].

Females of a variety of species, including primates [2], prefer dominant or high ranking males during the fertile phase of their cycles. These males may pass genetic benefits to offspring, as well as, potentially, offer material benefits (e.g., protect offspring). Women’s fertile-phase sexual attraction to behavioral dominance appears to have deep evolutionary roots.

 

You won't get women admitting to these truths because in all likelihood they do not process them on a conscious level, whether by ignorance or by choice.

Not only that, any man they have to communicate this to is not the man for them. Women want a guy that "just gets it". Anything less is compromised.

Complicating matters further is the current social stigma around women submitting to men. Even though deep down they want this. They want to open up, trust, be vulnerable and feel safe in the presence of a strong, confident, secure and dominant man. Society tells them it's wrong. Which only harms women.

 

I have no doubt that the above responses are sincere. But they will not help you form the complete picture, which is much bigger than what I have written here.

If you take anything away from this thread it's this: what women say they want vs. what they need and respond to are not necessarily the same thing.

What you said here reminds me of Leo's clip here:

But, be careful in just watching this clip, although throughout this clip he mentions relationships. He also made a more recent PUA clip and now has a paradigm clip that includes travelling to different countries. (For me, I encourage immigration.)

 

"The world is a great book of which they who never stir from home read only one page." -Augustine 

 

Btw, @Leo Gura, I really like how you said in the above clip, "moving to Japan and becoming a monk." 

And, another thing I noticed is that you use the icon of this clip as your general icon.

Edited March 10, 2017 by Key Elements

[abgespaced]

@Key Elements

 

[Key Elements]

@abgespaced We're talking about relationships, not medicines or rockets or anything mechanical. 

This clip/song is more suitable for this thread:

But, make your inner qualities / peace count more - a lot more!

Edited March 12, 2017 by Key Elements

[Peace and Love]

On 3/9/2017 at 2:25 PM, I_Like_Thing said:

If I were gay or a woman, the answer would be simple: Leo. So shave your head, start wearing black t-shirts, and enroll in philosophy classes.

@I_Like_Thing -  I'm actually glad you brought this up.  I "used to be" crushing hard on Leo.  I mean seriously what girl who is hard core into personal development and becoming a sage, and into enlightenment would not want someone like him???  I'm sure there are a few out there silently that have felt the same.  But I will tell you this....the best thing that ever happened was Leo coming out and telling everyone that he had a girl friend in his previous video.   It completely destroyed the crush (which can be an addiction for some) that I had, and probably for most of the women that did on here. It put me in a reality check and  allows me my freedom so I can go after someone that deserves my love and respect.

But when it comes to being SEXY...there isn't one simple path, or journey all men should take.  It's about being your best self and finding your own answers....following your own sacred TRUTH. We all ask the same questions, but we seek answers in many different ways.

[Posho]

what makes a man sexy?

Well a smart mouth. Applies to women as well

Edited March 12, 2017 by Posho

[Shin]

The irony is that the most attractive males, tends to not want to be in a relationship, and those who do and aren't assholes, are already taken.

I'm so glad to not be at your place ladies

[abgespaced]

@Key Elements  Are you saying there's nothing scientific about relationships?

[Key Elements]

@abgespaced Well, what I'm trying to say is, yes, I am in a relationship - I'm married with kids (teens). How I relate to my husband can't be explained through science other than we have 2 biological children.

[Key Elements]

Hey, those of you who said black shirt and being bald is the trend, you're totally right. Black shirt seem like the default trend that hasn't gone out of fashion. And, yes - "bald is beautiful." I'm sure if Ricky shaved his head here, he'll still look hot:

Hey, here's another hotty in black singing an old song:

More black shirts:

So, all in all, simplicity such as wearing black shirts, being bald, and let me add being a little more fit does make a man look sexy. Inner qualities / peace count a lot more. It makes a guy look a lot more sexy.

Edited March 13, 2017 by Key Elements

[Shin]

On 09/03/2017 at 8:45 PM, Shin said:

I shave, I love black, can we marry already (after your gender surgery) ?

Just realized it rhymes, hope it worth your time !

[Andrey]

On 3/7/2017 at 7:54 AM, Laisa said:

I loved it!!

Authenticity and self confidence are sexy! 

And that radical openmindedness  

 

I should directly give you my number then. 

[Nahm]

Not much difference really between this post and the What makes woman sexy post. Just interesting. 

[Lai]

Eyes, and what lies behind them.

[Lai]

On 3/7/2017 at 8:10 PM, jse said:

12. Wisdom

 

Those eyes...  I have found my soulmate! 

[Vercingetorix]

On 3/10/2017 at 2:00 AM, abgespaced said:

Biological mechanisms can be controlled to some extent, yes. Like forcing yourself not to eat or drink. How long can that be maintained?

@abgespaced

Until you die. 

Have you never meditated? Don't you see how conditioned the mind is to what it perceive as please tell or unpleasant, and how meditation helps you uncondition your mind?