My Intuition With An Opportunity With This, Meditation, Being On Time, and Punishment

[AndylizedAAY]

I need help with being on time and my intuition says that you can help me. The reason why I am late to classes is because I don't have a habit or a routine for an entire week but that my habits for individual days are mixed up. I also put things back out and in my backpack too often or too slowly and I don't really know how to break this habit. I'm also not fully present with getting to the next class. Why is it that I'm not as alert when I am at school and how can I fix this? Why doesn't my focus create an automatic routine over time or did I not install the right habits becauuse it's too weak? How do I feel more energized to leave the room and go to the next class faster? Why do my meditation sessions not help me become more present? What do you know about meditation that could help me optimize them? What is it that you need to know about me to do that? Here is all of the information that you might need about my detention papers and my school schedule:

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Also, the next time I get 3 tardies, I will be suspended for half a day, please help.

Edited January 26, 2023 by AndylizedAAY
I wanted to mention the severe consequences and ask questions about meditation.

[Israfil]

Deep down, it's not a priority for you. Do you know what you want to do with your life? If so, does it involve finishing school or developing being on time more regularly? Change requires effort, and effort is only justifiable if the result promotes a perceived gain for you. Otherwise, you will see it as a struggle and will unconsciously resist it.

[AndylizedAAY]

@Israfil How can I change my perspective on school without being delusional about the quality of it? I know what I want to do, my mission is to improve the education system. Does my unconscious resistance hijack my conscious mind that is involved with being mentally present and being on time? How do I remember the other factors if there were any? 

[Israfil]

Firstly, worrying so much about being on time wastes time itself. Worrying about being present distracts you from being present in the first place. Done is better than perfect. You can't move from Andy to Buddha in a blink of an eye. Do your best, and as soon as you slip into unconsciousness, move back to the present moment without worrying about the fact you slipped. It happens.

 

Secondly, if your mission is changing the education system, intentionally observing the problems that happen, and that you're not aware of yet is a great motivator to reach your goal. Even further than that. Observe what problems that surround you involve a faulty educational system to some degree. It will help you have a more holistic view of the world and develop more presence. Write down your idea about what would a perfect educational system be. Change what you see has been tried and didn't work. Observe. Change your point of view. Try to argue from the point of view of people you disagree with to eliminate biases. Rinse & repeat.

 

Having a clear vision is the only motivator you need. This by itself cuts a large number of your distractions and excuses. I know this first hand. It's what has been helping me. Don't take this as law. Experiment and adapt. Don't give up and never take people's advice as law.

[AndylizedAAY]

@Israfil Doesn't perfection imply completion? Wouldn't done only be better than incompletion? Also, it feels like I have to be perfect because I will get suspended the next time I get 3 tardies and that everyone else is able to do this. I am in my senior year and this is still a problem probably because of my mental condition? Would my situation improve if you knew about it? it's nothing embarrasing but cannot be undone if I tell you. Also can my unconscious resistance come in the form of distracting thoughts from my homework? The best insights that I recorded from I remember came from those thoughts. Here is an example if you're interested: 

P.S- When do I not press "@user"? I notice that it's only sometimes used so when should I use that option?

[Israfil]

Don't get caught up in the details and lose the big picture. I was talking about being present. You won't develop a complete presence of mind out of the blue. It is a practice.

You're not stupid. I can see you can write your thoughts, although being concise is something you could work on more. See homework as a necessary social validation step to reach your goal. You can't change the education system without finishing school. It's not a matter of its usefulness or not. It might be completely stupid, you're not gonna reach your goal if you don't do it.

Practical advice for not being late is getting your shit ready the day before, for example. For presence, as soon as you catch yourself drifting in thought, go back to focusing on your present moment. Try sleeping better and avoiding porn and games, as much as you can. It fucks attention span up.

[AndylizedAAY]

@Israfil

On 26/01/2023 at 10:20 PM, Israfil said:

.Try sleeping better and avoiding porn and games, as much as you can. It fucks attention span up.

@IsrafilSorry that I might be PMing you twice, I have to use my phone because the IP address cannot be found on my computer and my phone doesn't delete one of the "@user" options. I don't actually watch porn. Do you think that I do based on what I said or is that just general advice? If I want to get better sleep, I would need to find a better way to change my habits. My homework may appear to be difficult or at least tedious until I actually start doing it. This is something that needs to be actually learned so that behavior would change.