Help! Getting envious of roommate having sex.

[EdgeGod900]

EDIT: Need short term advice(something that would last me for 3 months)

I've watched Leo's video on "How to Stop Being Jealous," but most of the techniques are not instant. One of the techniques is to notice the jealous, and I am, but it's still bothering me. Another technique was to meditate and focus on your higher values, and I do those, but it's still bothering me. I'm having trouble staying productive and worst of all I feel bad inside. I even have noise cancelling earplugs(but there's still instances where I don't have them on). I'm starting to notice that it might not be a jealousy thing, but that my sex life is pretty bad at the moment; so that might be the reason why. In any case, I just want a short term advice that will last me for 3 more months and then I'm leaving them.

 

Thanks yall.

Edited January 24, 2023 by EdgeGod900

[Basman]

I don't think strong emotions are going to dissapate on the short-term. You will most likely have to be pro-active to deal with the discontment you feel. Your jealousy might be masking over a sense of dissatisfaction with your sex life.

Jealousy is pretty normal, but if it's bothering you, consider how you can make yourself feel less insecure relative to what you are insecure about.

[EdgeGod900]

@Basman I can think of a simple one, which is to get laid. I have no issues with getting laid though, it's just right now I need to focus on something else. But yeah... that's the only way, that I can think of right now, that can make me feel less "insecure"

[Natita]

45 minutes ago, EdgeGod900 said:

EDIT: Need short term advice(something that would last me for 3 months)

I've watched Leo's video on "How to Stop Being Jealous," but most of the techniques are not instant. One of the techniques is to notice the jealous, and I am, but it's still bothering me. Another technique was to meditate and focus on your higher values, and I do those, but it's still bothering me. I'm having trouble staying productive and worst of all I feel bad inside. I even have noise cancelling earplugs(but there's still instances where I don't have them on). I'm starting to notice that it might not be a jealousy thing, but that my sex life is pretty bad at the moment; so that might be the reason why. In any case, I just want a short term advice that will last me for 3 more months and then I'm leaving them.

 

Thanks yall.

Just have sex. So much more fulfilling ?

[something_else]

Ask your roommate to take you out to meet girls, he’d probably make a good wingman lol

Turn the jealousy into a strategic advantage

[EdgeGod900]

@something_else Like I said, I'm trying to do something work related right now and for the next three months that's preventing me from going out. I just want a way to not feel the jealousy every time I hear them flirt through the wall for the few months. I tried jerking off, but that doesn't do shit. I still feel jealousy when I hear them.

[Vlad_]

7 minutes ago, EdgeGod900 said:

@something_else Like I said, I'm trying to do something work related right now and for the next three months that's preventing me from going out. I just want a way to not feel the jealousy every time I hear them flirt through the wall for the few months. I tried jerking off, but that doesn't do shit. I still feel jealousy when I hear them.

As long as you don't have sex yourself nobody and nothing will help you. If you're so deeply involved in your work - find an escort or go to Berlin or  Amsterdam for the weekend. Stop making excuses 

[something_else]

20 minutes ago, EdgeGod900 said:

@something_else Like I said, I'm trying to do something work related right now and for the next three months that's preventing me from going out. I just want a way to not feel the jealousy every time I hear them flirt through the wall for the few months. I tried jerking off, but that doesn't do shit. I still feel jealousy when I hear them.

The thing is that unless you have the social parts of your life down, the higher consciousness parts are a lot harder to focus on. Well, for a lot of people anyway.

Look at the hierarchy of needs. Sex and social security comes before actualisation. If you can’t focus on work because you want to explore sex, that’s not a bad thing. It’s your body telling you its priorities and you should listen.

[universe]

You want to to notice the jealousy and then welcome it, accept it and feel it completely.

More on that here, Integrating Emotions (You can skip Step 1).

Something else you can do which is also part of Emotional Mastery is to shine light on the mindset surrounding your situation.

Explore why you are feeling jealous when your roomate has sex. Not everyone will feel that way in this situation. What do they think differently about this stuff? How could your roomate having sex actually be something positive and good for your life?

 

[Roy]

Rapid fire suggestions;

- Ask your roommate (politely or aggressively) to stop being loud /

- Ask them to go to their girlfriend/boyfriends place more often 

- Getting better headphones and crank the volume on music or other stuff 

- Ask your roommate to let you know when they'll get it on so you have an idea when to go for a walk or go out 

- Spend more time away from home 

- Accept your jealousy and integrate it, find out the deep questions of why you are feeling jealous and address them 

- Don't accept your jealousy, be petty and sabotage your roommates funky time 

- Beat them at their own game. Bring people home to shag so THEY get jealous 

- Suggest that you can join them 

- Suck it up buttercup it's only 3 months and you're outa there 

Mix or match any of these as you deem worth trying. Results not guaranteed, advice provided without warranty™.

Edited January 25, 2023 by Roy

[Hardkill]

OP, have you actually watched them have sex?

If yes and they seem okay with that then may be ask if they want to watch porn with you one night.

If no, then ask and keep asking them to watch until they get creeped out to the point of wanting to leave.

Edited January 25, 2023 by Hardkill

[PenguinPablo]

@Roy

2 hours ago, Roy said:

- Suggest that you can join them 

the only true solution.

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, EdgeGod900 said:

my sex life is pretty bad

THAT'S the real issue.

You gotta start to get social and talk to girls.

This couple is just reminding you that you are neglecting your sex life. That's why it upsets you.

Edited January 25, 2023 by Leo Gura

[flowboy]

@EdgeGod900

Try this, if it works for you, it will work fast.

[Michael569]

@Roy top responses ??

[Eyowey]

It's human nature. You don't want anyone to have sex except yourself. It messes with your pride. What you have to do now is ask yourself ''What can I do to make myself feel proud?'' Ask yourself this throughout the day.

[EdgeGod900]

@Leo Gura Ill do that after 3 months. Also, isn't that just an external solution? Isn't better to find the solution in the internal world? But to be fair I did say short term.  All inner solutions takes more than months.

 

Also, I've told some of my friends about it, and they also had the same experience in the past and felt the way I did despite them having girlfriends.

Edited January 26, 2023 by EdgeGod900

[PenguinPablo]

4 hours ago, EdgeGod900 said:

@Leo Gura Ill do that after 3 months. Also, isn't that just an external solution? Isn't better to find the solution in the internal world? But to be fair I did say short term.  All inner solutions takes more than months.

 

Also, I've told some of my friends about it, and they also had the same experience in the past and felt the way I did despite them having girlfriends.

Run a DHV stack on her. Take her through the three phases of Mystery's M3 model, proceed with emotional spikes, takeaways, and finally close her. Bonus points if her boyfriend (your "friend" is present). 

+   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   +   

But in all seriousness... you have to start to question the social conditioning that is running your mind, the thoughts in your head, and how they cause you to suffer. I would recommend you improve socially anyway. You should try to burn the candles from both ends.

Improve your social skills AND deconstruct the thoughts that influence your perception and see how flimsy they are when you rigorously inquire into them... psychedelics and weed could help with this.

That is probably one of the true few ways to uproot this issue at a fundamental lvl.

Simultaneously, you'll never regret learning how to dance (social skills / game, etc...). Combine that with an enlightened mind and that's a pretty good fucking life.

Edited January 26, 2023 by PenguinPablo

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, EdgeGod900 said:

@Leo Gura Ill do that after 3 months. Also, isn't that just an external solution? Isn't better to find the solution in the internal world? But to be fair I did say short term.  All inner solutions takes more than months.

Sometimes the external solution is the real solution.

[StarStruck]

Go to the root of your jealousy. You need to meditate on the ego and comprehend this emotion instead of trying to cure the symptoms. Emotions are trying to tell you something.