Masturbation without porn - healthier?

[Uncover]

Hi, 

I'm a 28 years old guy from Romania. Firstly, when I say "healthier" I'm talking about the psychological side; to me, there's no phisical health benefit from masturbation. Well, no benefit at all, it will be better if I could just stop. I'm an introvert, worse, a shy introvert. And I suspect that masturbating to porn is the cause (or plays a big role) of my shyness. I'm extremely shy in some social situation, I blush and I make weird gestures sometimes. Thus, girls don't find me attractive. You need to be an Alpha, not a simp. Anyways, there's a lot to be said on this, so I leave it aside.

The point is that I can't get a girl, thus I can't see myself getting laid in the near- distant future. Last time I got laid was more than two years ago. And my only means of getting girls are online.. on facebook; and the girls don't even respond to my friend request. Few that they do are either married, taked or don't respond to my texts. Online "dating" it's not a thing for me. Face to face it's better, if I can set a date online frist. Like, I will never go approaching unknoun girls in real life, don't wanna invade their privacy or creep them out.

I noticed that when I masturbated without porn for a while the syness decreased and I was able to talk more easily to girls, and be more outgoing. However, I can't really say if this was because I masturbated without porn or simply because I masturbated and thus I took away some of that phisical tension (lust?). Because I notice that if I abstain completely from porn/masturbation for like 5-6 days my shyness also increases, especially aroung beautiful girls. I know, I'm childish given my age. No wonder I can't get laid.  Anyways, I think I'll just masturbate without porn when I feel the urge to watch porn. The urge usually goes away after I masturbate. I'll see how it goes. Btw, I used to consume porn on a daily basis, now I do it once in 3-4 days. 

 

Any insights are welcoming

 

[Leo Gura]

Dude, the reason you're not getting laid is not the porn, it's that you don't socialize enough. It's time to redesign your lifestyle so you are social 3 nights a week at least.

As long as you go out 3 nights a week, watch whatever porn you want. That's the deal.

The only reason you are shy is because you don't talk to enough girls each week. This is not rocket science. Strike at the root, not the fruit.

Edited January 23, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Eyowey]

Porn prevents you from feeling that lack of women in your life. That painful scarcity. It's not just porn that does this. Any image on your screen that depicts a woman convinces your mind that you're not alone. But you are alone. That's important to get in touch with. You have to feel that painful loneliness until you end up crying a river. That's when you will want to take action.

54 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The only reason you are shy is because you don't talk to enough girls each week

+ unhealthy diet most likely. I've never seen a shy person who eats like a king. or queen for the ladies who are reading this

[The Mystical Man]

Jesus is always waiting for you to come to Him:

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I don't like porn tbh. 

I like to imagine that I am with my imaginary lover. 

Porn gives me astringent vibes. Like something too mechanical and without emotion. I don't want that. 

 

[Matt23]

31 minutes ago, The Mystical Man said:

Jesus is always waiting for you to come to Him:

 

lol

....

I wonder if there is Jesus porn out there.  There probably is.  Porn tends to have all the niches imaginable covered. 

Edited January 23, 2023 by Matt23

[Waves]

There is a lot that could be said here. To keep it simple:

• Get in touch with your body. Feel into various parts of your body, especially your pelvis and genitals. It is essential that you reconnect to that part of you. That's where your power, your desire, your expression reside. The way you feel about your penis is the way that you feel about yourself. 
• Yes, it would be 'healthier' to masturbate without porn. It is fair to assume you'll feel more attracted to actual women, and they will feel your energy more. And when you beat your willie make it an act of pleasuring yourself based on sensations in your body, not stimulations coming from the mind. Make it about connecting with yourself. Be present with it.
• You could benefit from doing shadow work and self-esteem work. And - you guessed it - developing an intimate relationship with sensations in your body is the foundation.
• Go be around girls and talk to them. Feel the nice sensations that bubble up in your pelvis when you see a cutie, then go talk to her with a smile.

[StarStruck]

You just have to find a girl who is desperate too and slowly build yourself up the social ladder. If you find your way to getting one girl, getting a better girl will be easier. It is called the winner effect. And you can winner effect on getting your first gf by building up momentum. If watching porn breaks your momentum to go out, it is good you stopped. Don't listen to other people; people are different. You know what is best for you and that is how you build intuition and confidence.

Edited January 23, 2023 by StarStruck

[Vlad_]

Don't take anyone's word as the right one. Try to find the answer from you direct experience. 

I've personally verified that  when I watch porn I don't feel like socializing at all. It makes me feel lazy and unmotivated. I have zero interest in talking to girls. 

Here's fun fact. I did only 10 approaches in the last few years  (I suck at pick up, I know ) and I got laid with 2 girls when I was away from porn for 7+ days. 

My verdict - porn is unhealthy, at least for me. 

[lisindel]

You could experiment it for yourself and learn.