Social anxiety

[Gabith]

When I speak with people, sometimes I feel oppressed or anxious, I am too focused on myself.

I don't understand because there is some days where I don't really care what others think and I feel more like myself, it's nice because I feel good even if I do "weird" things in front of others. 
I make jokes, I can stare at people, saying hello to strangers, speaking with a stranger on the bus, not being too self-conscious, smiling at girls etc....
and others day it's like I'm another person, I feel ashamed, too self-conscious, imagining the others judging me and fearing their judgement of me.
 

A practical technique could help I guess if I use it everyday 

Are there any techniques to use with the body / breathing or psychological tricks to feel more comfortable in the presence of others?

[Eyowey]

Your body knows that it's depleted of energy so it tries to hide itself to protect itself. You have to build up your energy by stuffing yourself with healthy foods while remaining sedentary. After a week of doing this you will roar like a lion metaphorically speaking. If you don't cum.

[Rafael Thundercat]

@Gabith There is not need to feel confortable in the presence of others all the time. For me if someone annoys me I dont avoid the annoyment. I just assume there is something in the person that dont line up with who I am and no questions anymore. Sometimes we think to much that the vibe of the moment depends uniquely because there is something in us, s shyness or the oposite an extrovertion. One day I was in company of some people and I was feeling like shit, demotivated, down.. and in the same day I went to visit nice, mindopen, creative friends and instantly my vibe was up and I was again feeling in my element again. Yes, sometimes is your shity diet, routine,mindset but sometimes you are only in a low vibe circle and is like your soul is telling you " So man, wtf are you still doing in this shithole? You deserve better than this. 

Is the Soul asking for juice and you are surrounded by Vinager. 

 

 

Edited January 22, 2023 by Rafael Thundercat

[Kamo]

@Gabith Semen retention helps, go about 3 weeks without sexual gratification and the anxiety should be reduced greatly. working out also has similar effects. proper diet, and meditation help calm the mind as well. Then you just wanna practice in front of people at focusing on your breath or relaxing the body. I found that i hold tension in my face and jaw and i actively relax my tongue which seems to help the anxiety. Bring up topics you are well informed of or passionate about and talk about those. Youll forget about how your feeling and be focused on what your telling them. I find that helps as well.

[Gabith]

Thank u

[JonasVE12]

You don't need any technique to fix this. What needs to happen is that you become grounded in feeling vulnerable and showing those emotions to the people in front of you. Allowing yourself to express from shame and fear. Stepping into it more. Even when you are not feeling shameful and fearful, you should actually seek that emotion more until you learn to become grounded in it and grow from it. Eventually you'll get less and less shame and fear but it all starts with actively seeking the emotion through having certain experiences that trigger it. And then learning to become open and vulnerable in it, accepting the feeling fully. That's how you release fear. And when you are just in a fearful and shameful state, then show it. Own it fully. Radically accept it and feel the courage in owning your vulnerability because eventually that courage is going to release the shame. It comes mostly because you are in resistance to it.

[Javfly33]

What you experience when you say that you feel good is you separating youself/letting go/being free of the karma and energetic trauma that 'social anxiety' is. What you experience when you say you feel bad is you attaching again to that karma-producing again that energetic conditioning.

Ime there is no fast way around it to 'solve' 'this'. There has to be an active attention and awareness on not attaching yourself to that karma and energetic entanglement again. What worked for me was psylocibin. But of course that was the top on the cherry, some things that 'wake you up' just happen by coincidence in your life.

 

My advice is psylocibin. Once it does the 'click' on revealing that karma, you might have a way clear space on what you can do to really design your life as you want to. Which will involve more 'normal' tools because you can't really be tripping each week. But the 'revealing' so to speak must happen before that.

[hyruga]

You believe in yourself and focus on your own needs.  Like what a forumer said, sometimes you should treat the ladies you are talking to as guys and you will feel less stressed.

[something_else]

Realistically facing your fears is the only way to fix this. 

Yea, maybe if you improve your diet and work out it will help a little, but ultimately social anxiety comes from deep rooted trauma/fear. And the only way to overcome it is to face it and realise that people aren't something you need to be scared of.

[Leo Gura]

21 hours ago, Gabith said:

Are there any techniques to use with the body / breathing or psychological tricks to feel more comfortable in the presence of others?

Yeah, consciously relax your body and enjoy the present moment. It's something you gotta remember to do.

[jimwell]

23 hours ago, Gabith said:

I don't understand because there is some days where I don't really care what others think and I feel more like myself, it's nice because I feel good even if I do "weird" things in front of others. 
I make jokes, I can stare at people, saying hello to strangers, speaking with a stranger on the bus, not being too self-conscious, smiling at girls etc....

Manifestations of high self-love and high self-esteem. 

 

23 hours ago, Gabith said:

and others day it's like I'm another person, I feel ashamed, too self-conscious, imagining the others judging me and fearing their judgement of me.

Manifestations of low self-love and low self-esteem. 

The problems and solutions are obvious. 

[Gabith]

17 hours ago, jimwell said:

Manifestations of high self-love and high self-esteem. 

 

Manifestations of low self-love and low self-esteem. 

The problems and solutions are obvious. 

What are the solutions ? 

[jimwell]

5 hours ago, Gabith said:

What are the solutions ? 

Your question should have been "How do I acquire the solutions?".

Self-love and Self-esteem

Comprehend and then embody them. Embody means you think, act, and react similar to a person who has high self-love and self-esteem. This needs to happen every day or almost every day.

Implement it to others and to yourself.

I have seen a few of your posts. It seems you badly need a girlfriend, which is valid. So you also need to embody masculine beauty.

Masculine beauty

I don't know whether Leo has a video about it. Try to search for it. You can also search for it on the internet.

But to give you an idea what it is; Internal and physical strength, bravery, intelligence, confidence, guts, integrity, muscles, boundary, charisma, leadership, etc.

It also helps if you have fashion intelligence. Make it simple, beautiful, and masculine.

Why should you listen to me?

I am not a master pick-up artist, only because it is women who do pick-up on me. I first started having a girlfriend when I was 11. Another girlfriend when I was 12. Another one when I was 14. Another one when I was 17 and so on. I never exerted much effort. Having girlfriends is easy and natural for me. I banged many women who I socialize and drank with when I was in college. Two of my ex-gf's bestfriends (my ex-gf had 3 female bestfriends) invited me to have threesomes with them. I refused the threesome which I regretted to be honest. I should have gone for it. ? But one of her bestfriends was very insistent on it, I was tempted. She booked a taxi and a hotel and I fucked her real good there. A few months after that, she kept inviting me to fuck her again because according to her I was very good in bed.  But I was always able to refuse. I was still brainwashed by society at that time to honor monogamy. I fucked too many women in college and in my 20s, I can't remember them all. And I'm the type of guy who has a high standard. I only fucked girls who are at least a 7.

Having girlfriends and fucking women have been easy and natural for me since I was 11. I took it for granted. I never knew others are actually having difficulty with it. I was shocked as fuck when I knew about incels. I am now in my 30s and I have exhausted all my desire to have girlfriends or wives. I can still have girlfriends or wives but I am picky as fuck. They must be a 10. But I still enjoy fucking women who are at least a 7.

My problem is different. Girls and homosexuals hit on me too often and they are too aggressive, I perceive their sexual advances as sexual harassment. This is a form of suffering believe it or not. Most of the time, I am not interested in the person who hits on me. It's very frustrating. 

I contemplated my popularity among girls (and homosexuals) a bit. I concluded it must be the self-love, masculine energy I mentioned above, physical and fashion beauty (I'm at least attractive to women in my home country, Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans; I have never been exposed to western women so I don't know about them). Having more feminine aspects such as compassion and sensitivity might also be two of the forces. I'm not sure whether spirituality helps in dating. My guess is that it does if you are being strategic about it.

I mentioned my history with women and dating NOT to brag or look down on others. I just want you to know me a bit and I want to show you that I speak from experience.

Now, it's your turn to help me. I lost more or less 70k USD last year to an online scam. My Japanese student visa was rejected a few days ago and I paid 2.3k USD to the Japanese University. They did not refund my money. For context, the annual salary in my home country which is a 3rd world country is 2.2k USD. I lost too much money, I need to get a wage slave job soon to stay alive. And I badly need to go back to Japan as soon as possible. I hope you have good answers.

How do I quickly and legally earn much money? I have tried starting a business. No, it was not quick and it was very difficult.     

If you know somebody who owns a business in Japan and can sponsor me a work visa, please recommend me to them. It's essentially impossible to get a Japanese long-term work visa without a sponsor from Japan if you're from a 3rd world country unless you have millions of dollars in your bank account to apply for a business or investor visa. Japan bows down to the USA and other English-speaking countries and looks down on 3rd world countries.  

[Gabith]

1 hour ago, jimwell said:

urn to help me. I lost more or less 70k USD last year to an online scam. My Japanese student visa was rejected a few days ago and I paid 2.3k USD to the Japanese University. They did not refund my money. For context, the annual salary in my home country which is a 3rd world country is 2.2k USD. I lost too much money, I need to get a wage slave job soon to stay alive. And I badly need to go back to Japan as soon as possible. I hope you have good answers.

How do I quickly and legally earn much money? I have tried starting a business. No, it was not quick and it was very difficult.     

If you know somebody who owns a business in Japan and can sponsor me a work visa, please recommend me to them. It's essentially impossible to get a Japanese long-term work visa without a sponsor from Japan if you're from a 3rd world country unless you have millions of dollars in your bank account to apply for a business or investor visa. Japan bows down to the USA and other English-speaking countries and looks down on 3rd world countries.  

Thank u.

 

I can't help u with that

[Carl-Richard]

I just recently found a coping mechanism for anxiety about future events. Repeat to yourself in the voice of Zack de la Rocha: "I don't live in tha future!", "I don't LIVE in tha future!", "I, don't LIVE, in tha future!". It actually works ?

[RedLine]

On 23/1/2023 at 7:04 PM, jimwell said:

Manifestations of high self-love and high self-esteem. 

 

Manifestations of low self-love and low self-esteem. 

The problems and solutions are obvious. 

Or just go to the gym and start doing cold approach and stop playing manifesting mental games.

 

Get in shape solved my social anxiety problem when I was young and getting good at pick up multiplied my self confidence. This are the two more direct and no BS ways to build strong ego.

 

 

Edited January 27, 2023 by RedLine

[David der Adler]

Your Ego is the one who is suffering. (Keep in mind the Ego is no entity it is just like a program)

For example, you have a week where everything goes right. Girls like you. Your coworkers are friendly to you and so on. Simply put you get a lot of validation from outside. 

If that happens your Ego identifies with the outside validation.

That is good as long as the outside validates you.

If you get negative impressions the next week your Ego will be destroyed and you feel "unworthy". Why?

Because your happiness and confidence and so on are dependent on the outside.

You feel shit because you dont reach your own expectation for yourself you constructed a week ago.

So you have to disconnect from the outside and recognize that you are complete from within.

Do you see how you give your power away when you try to identify with validation FROM THE OUTSIDE?

Solution

Every time you get positive outcomes in real life. Dont identify with it. Dont let your Ego think: yes baby I am so cool or The girl likes me I am soooo sexy. Just have a blank mind (like in meditation) when things like that happen.

Dont think you are better than anyone if you have a "good day" in whatever manner.

Dont identify with impressions outside of yourself. 

If you do that you will be independent of your surroundings.

If you dont do that you will be dependent on your surroundings.

Dont let the outside evaluate your worth!!!!!! Positive or Negative.

It will be hard to get used to living like that. There will be a lot of Ego Backlash. Your Ego will literally try to get you under its control. But under its control suffering happens.

So disidentify and identify with the present moment. With the observer. With that what is unchangeable. 

Incorporate meditation so you get used to having a blank mind. 

And try to incorporate the disidentifying in real life. This will be hard because the more you are not dependent on the outside, the more girls and people will respect you because you act out of self-love. And that brings more things your Ego can identify with. 

And lastly, just observe yourself when you do that and get your own conclusions. 

 

 

Edited February 16, 2023 by David der Adler