Other benefits of doing pickup

[Antor8188]

 @Leo Gura I received some other benefits from pickup:

1) better social skills: I was unable to make good guy friends and now I met 3 guys 2 weeks ago and we have become like best friends and we are each others wingmen.

2) don't give a f attitude: after getting rejected I became mentally stronger and don't think of suicide at all back then I felt suicidal when one girl rejected me but till now I have been rejected by 19-21 girls and I don't care lol feel alpha. 

3) less fears: I used to be really intimidated by people especially dangerous looking men but not Anymore not as much as before. 

4) learned better fashion: back then I used to look like a homeless teenager but after I started gaming I am taking more care of myself hence looking really professional. 

I still lack a lot of social skills but getting better. 

 

[Leo Gura]

The best benefits of pickup are not the sex.

[Antor8188]

@Leo Gura what benefits did you receive from pickup apart from sex? 

[Leo Gura]

Enough that I am too lazy to itemize them all.

Edited January 22, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Aiwass]

Socialization, placebo effect, and self hate. 

Edited January 22, 2023 by Aiwass

[Hardkill]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The best benefits of pickup are not the sex.

34 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Enough that I am too lazy to itemize them all.

If doing constant cold approach and dating leads to major growth of character then why there have been pickup/dating coaches who have become toxic or are still psychological messed up? Why have some committed suicide?

[Aiwass]

1 minute ago, Hardkill said:

If doing constant cold approach and dating leads to major growth of character then why there have been pickup/dating coaches who have become toxic or are still psychological messed up? Why have some committed suicide?

I repeat, the benefits of pickup are as followed: Socialization, placebo effect, and self hate. Lol

Edited January 22, 2023 by Aiwass

[Hardkill]

2 minutes ago, Aiwass said:

I repeat, the benefits of pickup are as followed: Socialization, placebo effect, and self hate. Lol

Perhaps. lol

I feel like pickup and dating for me has led to the benefits mentioned by the OP, but at the same time it has had me feel demoralized and depressed a lot of other times.

[Antor8188]

@Aiwass how could self hate be a benefit? 

[Hardkill]

4 minutes ago, Antor8188 said:

@Aiwass how could self hate be a benefit? 

He's being facetious.

The point is that pickup can lead to self-hate.

[Aiwass]

1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

He's being facetious.

The point is that pickup can lead to self-hate.

Precisely. One of many stages to comes during the act.

Edited January 22, 2023 by Aiwass

[Ulax]

2 hours ago, Hardkill said:

If doing constant cold approach and dating leads to major growth of character then why there have been pickup/dating coaches who have become toxic or are still psychological messed up? Why have some committed suicide?

@Hardkill I think there is a nuanced answer to it.

I think pickup can bring character growth in a certain amount of areas, i.e. courage, social skills. However, there are areas where it simply cannot grow you, for example, it will not heal your trauma. Also, i think there are a lot of toxic aspects to the community that get picked up along the journey, especially with the mystery method type game. I think pick up can exacerbate self-hate because of the toxicity of a large aspect of the pick up culture. Hence, you get these big time pick up guys with a tonne of emotional trauma.

I think a big issue is when you have more deeply emotionally wounded guys who get involved with pick up, and then do not do deep shadow work alongside it. Some don't even see the value to it imo. Hence, I think they never sort out the deep routed issues and keep acting out the same unconscious dynamics, just now with dramatically better social, and assertive skills.

Edited January 22, 2023 by Ulax

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Hardkill said:

If doing constant cold approach and dating leads to major growth of character then why there have been pickup/dating coaches who have become toxic or are still psychological messed up?

Because as with anything, you gotta do it with the right intentions.

I think most people get better over time, not worse. But you have to keep in mind how bad they were when they started off.

Of course there will be exceptions of people who only use it to get laid and don't improve character.

It's not really that pickup grew my character, I had good character to begin with. But pickup rounded me out as a man and allowed for development opportunities.

Quote

Why have some committed suicide?

I don't know of any who have committed suicide.

Edited January 22, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Eyowey]

Being in love makes me see pickup through a different lens. The way I look at it now is that pickup is only satisfying to the body and ego with some additional social skills benefits like you mentioned. But does it give deep emotional satisfaction? If you can somehow make yourself love every girl you do pickup on then it might be deeply fulfilling. Who knows. 

[Karmadhi]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Enough that I am too lazy to itemize them all

It would be cool if you told us to motivate us a bit because so far all I have seen is limiting belief breaking, more confidence and better skills with girls. Most of these are girl related stuff. I already have good social skills and social intelligence so maybe that is why I have not seen as much benefit as people claim.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Eyowey said:

Being in love

How you gonna find a girl to fall in love with?

[Leo Gura]

53 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

I have not seen as much benefit as people claim.

Then don't do it. People are different.

Edited January 22, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Karmadhi]

51 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Then don't do it. People are different.

I do it because it is effective for getting you laid/find a girlfriend/improve dating skills. I just have not seen benefits outside of the domain of dating/attraction/flirtation/confidence regarding dating. That is all I am saying.

So of course I will continue to do it.

Maybe I am missing something higher than pickup teaches you  and would like to know what that is.

Edited January 22, 2023 by Karmadhi

[Terell Kirby]

3 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Maybe I am missing something higher than pickup teaches you  and would like to know what that is.

Think Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Pickup fits in the 'Love & Belonging' category of needs (ie. the need for intimacy).

Any lack of development in any of these categories/stages is a blocker to self actualization.

Yes, in the short term pick up is there to improve your ability to get sex & intimacy with women .. but the long term is self actualization .. and even longer, self transcendence. Leo has a good video on burning through karma that explains this.

[Hardkill]

11 hours ago, Ulax said:

@Hardkill I think there is a nuanced answer to it.

I think pickup can bring character growth in a certain amount of areas, i.e. courage, social skills. However, there are areas where it simply cannot grow you, for example, it will not heal your trauma. Also, i think there are a lot of toxic aspects to the community that get picked up along the journey, especially with the mystery method type game. I think pick up can exacerbate self-hate because of the toxicity of a large aspect of the pick up culture. Hence, you get these big time pick up guys with a tonne of emotional trauma.

I think a big issue is when you have more deeply emotionally wounded guys who get involved with pick up, and then do not do deep shadow work alongside it. Some don't even see the value to it imo. Hence, I think they never sort out the deep routed issues and keep acting out the same

unconscious dynamics, just now with dramatically better social, and assertive skills.

 

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Because as with anything, you gotta do it with the right intentions.

I think most people get better over time, not worse. But you have to keep in mind how bad they were when they started off.

Of course there will be exceptions of people who only use it to get laid and don't improve character.

It's not really that pickup grew my character, I had good character to begin with. But pickup rounded me out as a man and allowed for development opportunities.

I don't know of any who have committed suicide.

I see. That all makes more sense to me.

Pickup coach Tom Torero committed suicide last year.