Should I Restart My Meditation Habit?

[Marcell Kovacs]

Today I rewatched Leo's Secret Curse video, and realized that perhaps I have been meditating wrong all along.

I put this habit into my lifestyle last July starting with 20 minutes and have been meditating ever since. Last October I increased the duration to 30 minutes, yesterday to 40.

What I always find myself doing is thinking about random stuff that comes up all the time and while watching the video mentioned above today, I realized that I have HARDLY been any present at all... The amount of time I have been TRULY present ever since I started meditating can only be summed up in seconds.

Couple of reasons could be perhaps because I'm always meditating before I go to sleep and 99% of the time I find myself falling asleep for a few minutes (1 or 2) or a few seconds during every session multiple times (between 3 to 5), and to be honest I'm not even starting with the right intention.

I'm only meditating out of commitment, because Leo said it's the number one self improvement habit one can install into his/her daily life.

I only ever remember 2 or 3 sessions throughout all this time when I truly felt present for longer periods of time, therefore I was charged with life after finishing those occasions. These 30/40-minute long sessions are incredibly boring, the mind already starts asking "When is it going to end?" by the 15 or 20 minute mark (just guessing of course), and therefore the rest of the session ends up with me trying to be present to lighten the pain, but end up failing miserably, and keeping the question written above in the foresight the entire time.

Same occurs with guided meditations as well. Sometimes I put one on and end up following absolutely nothing of what the teacher asks to do. On better days, I can do the inquiry/follow the process for 5/10 minutes, but fall off track afterwards.

Question: Should I restart from the basics by only doing 3, or 4 minute sessions for now and trying to be present all the time, and increase my way up from there, or am I just experiencing something every newbie meditator does, and I'm on the right track actually?

[Nahm]

Meditate in the morning. 

[bazera]

I experience that too, and because of that I've watched Leo's Meditation for Beginners video like 10 times

In the video, he said that you can't control that. The only thing to control here is the habit, and doing that 20 or how many minutes you're doing. 

The other thing he said, is that we should count every session as a proper meditation. So, if I am sitting in my chair for 20 minutes with the intention of being more aware, and thinking about sex all the time, should I count that as a proper session? And the answer is yes (if we believe Leo  )

So yeah, I've also started my meditation from July, and 95% of the sessions was just a monkey mind.

But you should also think about optimizing your sessions. For example, try to meditate at times when you are most alert and awake. Also, don't eat too much before the session. If you feel sleepy, take a nap and meditate afterward, etc. 

 

Edited March 4, 2017 by bazera