Abundance Abundance Abundance

[Lyubov]

One of the fundamental obstacles I see a lot of guys having problem with isn’t their “game” abilities. For example they aren’t sure what “to do” in a certain situation or say and are looking for some mental concept they can mechanically implement. That approach to thinking about this stuff has it’s place and is useful at times. Their problem is more fundamental however and it’s that they lack abundance.

They are not living a socially active lifestyle nor have the exposure which gives them social access to simply meeting and partying with lots of beautiful women. They sit inside mostly, they keep to themselves, they spend time with the same couple friends who don’t go out either, etc. This is somewhat where cold approach and day game attempts to fill the gaps but this also can be further refined and isn’t the same as being in a place where women are going to be automatically receptive to your sexual agenda. Not all places give the same level of social reception.

I’m part of a Facebook group where guys ask for advice. You see a lot of posts there where a guy will put up images of some texting he’s doing with a number he got. He busted his ass to get that number in his town or city then he’s in scarcity mode and trying hard to make a mediocre set work. All those mechanical “gamey” techniques aren’t necessarily the foundation. They are more the icing on the cake. You don’t need a lot of them, sometimes even none, for a robust and rich experience. You’d be surprised how the techniques that are studied in pick up are sparingly used by guys who actually get home runs, in reality much of the “game” you are expected to run as a man is being just a fun and relaxed guy who is confident in himself and can make solid eye contact coming from that core inner sense of well being (not forcing). Basically just knowing how to lead. Not the fake try-hard red pill confidence but actually confident and truly appreciative of yourself. You’re happy to be who you are, weaknesses and all.

If you had abundance/exposure and simply were happy to be who you are you wouldn’t be hyper focused on making that one shitty set work. I noticed here instead of guys posting screenshots of text convos they ask useless hypotheticals to try and understand something. Both are just inefficient coping mechanisms to try and deal with a challenge in life. 

You would know there is an element of chance and you are not in control of the woman or the situation, you can only influence it, so you would have no problem passing onto the next instead digging in, and with this all attuned together you are then quickly able to filter to the girls that like you and put energy into the sets you can tell will go in your favor and you will get laid way more and have way more opportunities to make this girl you girlfriend or that girlfriend a hookup. It’s just what’s efficient. 

So I would say the main thing to do is focus on abundance. Move if you have to. If you live in the Middle East or a shitty USA state, then move. Second you have to make some great internal shifts and take responsibility for your emotions and how you view yourself. No more blaming others for how you feel or what you like or don’t like. You create all your emotions through your beliefs. Nothing outside you is doing that. Stop blaming your chemistry or the heavy metals or the label of some diagnosis. It is just your beliefs. Your beliefs can be changed, beliefs of course can be changed! 

So this all revolves around taking responsibility and the first thing you can do is take responsibility for what I consider to be the most important fundamental which is reorienting your entire life towards building abundance. Move if you have to, change jobs, join a co working place, whatever you have to do to just be around women for hours on end every day, do that, then start refining. 

[Basman]

Good post.

You just need to talk to more women fundamentally. 

[something_else]

Firstly I heavily agree with everything you said here. Especially the part about trying to mechanise the process. Like the actual mechanics of getting better with girls are so simple. Find places with lots of girls, keep talking to them consistently, push your comfort zone and try new stuff, try and make some good friends along the way. Understanding this comes from experience and not from frameworks or mechanical knowledge.

But the only point I would make is that you are coming from a place of actually having basic functional social skills as a starting point which is absolutely not a given for many guys nowadays.

Like, it’s hard to appreciate how seriously socially FUCKED a lot of guys can be and the steps to get out of that situation are not always clear or simple. Abundance or even feeling comfortable and chill in your own skin in social places is at the very least 4 or 5 painful steps away.

Kind of like a morbidly obese person who wants to start working out to lose weight and become skinny. They’re so deeply fucked in terms of weight that the starting point + steps to fix the problem aren’t even that clear. There are a multitude of things going wrong that need fixing to make progress. That’s similar to where a lot of guys are in relation to social skills + girls

I think most guys would benefit a lot from going out and partying and just trying to have fun on nights out rather than going out specifically to meet girls. Maybe once you have those basic partying and social skills down you can focus more intensely on talking to girls.

But since I started actually going out (and my social skills were seriously seriously bad when I did start) I’ve always gone out with the intention of just having a blast and pushing my comfort zone and I’ve done pretty well with girls in that time

Edited January 20, 2023 by something_else

[Leo Gura]

The foundation of game is desiging that abundant lifestyle more than it is any lines or mechanical techniques.

The best thing you can do for your game is move to the right city, and even the right part of the right city.

If you aren't moving, you aren't really gaming. There is no game without relocation.

Edited January 20, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Kshantivadin]

Good post. Would be nice if all guys here read this

[Lyubov]

15 hours ago, something_else said:

Firstly I heavily agree with everything you said here. Especially the part about trying to mechanise the process. Like the actual mechanics of getting better with girls are so simple. Find places with lots of girls, keep talking to them consistently, push your comfort zone and try new stuff, try and make some good friends along the way. Understanding this comes from experience and not from frameworks or mechanical knowledge.

But the only point I would make is that you are coming from a place of actually having basic functional social skills as a starting point which is absolutely not a given for many guys nowadays.

Like, it’s hard to appreciate how seriously socially FUCKED a lot of guys can be and the steps to get out of that situation are not always clear or simple. Abundance or even feeling comfortable and chill in your own skin in social places is at the very least 4 or 5 painful steps away.

Kind of like a morbidly obese person who wants to start working out to lose weight and become skinny. They’re so deeply fucked in terms of weight that the starting point + steps to fix the problem aren’t even that clear. There are a multitude of things going wrong that need fixing to make progress. That’s similar to where a lot of guys are in relation to social skills + girls

I think most guys would benefit a lot from going out and partying and just trying to have fun on nights out rather than going out specifically to meet girls. Maybe once you have those basic partying and social skills down you can focus more intensely on talking to girls.

But since I started actually going out (and my social skills were seriously seriously bad when I did start) I’ve always gone out with the intention of just having a blast and pushing my comfort zone and I’ve done pretty well with girls in that time

Thanks for expanding on this. I do agree with you. I’ll take this into account and try to do some more writing based off what you said. I actually was at this point when I was in my early to mid 20s. I was an incel 10 years ago before the word was coined. Getting out of this was like clawing myself upward out of a well with no ladder. I’m actually not sure how to approach this even though I’ve been through it, need to reflect on it more. I’m trying to put together a body of writing and maybe put out a short book on this topic in the future. 

Edited January 20, 2023 by Lyubov