Self Help is about Getting Laid

[bloomer]

Self help is a multi billion dollar industry. It's main target industry is men and it's focus is on ways for said men to increase their status. Why do men strive for status? Because women sexually select for status. If you remove the need to be sexually satiated, then you take away men's need to strive for status. So you place men in a situation where men aren't going to do anything. If you improve yourself but you get nothing from it, then why improve? If the improvement does nothing to increase your social status than the majority of men won't have the motivation and or discipline to bother. If men are in a constant need for sexual satiation then they will constantly be looking for ways to increase their status through the self improvement industry. So I believe that the primary motivation behind the vast majority of self improvement is men's attempts to sexually satiate themselves. Now to acknowledge that fact is to demotivate yourself and get in the way of your goal of increasing your status, as you'll naturally lose motivation if you think that the only reason you're doing what you're doing is to get status to get laid generally. So men typically have a need to construct rationale that they're actually self improving for some grand greater purpose. But as Leo pointed out in his most recent video in a quote at the start.

Quote

It's hard to get a man to understand something when his not understanding it gets him laid

So when you do actual understand the main driving force behind the desire to self improve and as a result become naturally demotivated. What are the best ways in which you can still find motivation without deluding yourself into thinking it's about some greater purpose? This question is mainly aimed at men.

Edited January 19, 2023 by bloomer

[LastThursday]

8 minutes ago, bloomer said:

So I believe that the primary motivation behind the vast majority of self improvement is men's attempts to sexually satiate themselves.

The primary motivation behind the industry is to make money. If they can do that by playing on men's status anxiety then they will. However, I think the general thrust isn't about status at all, but simply everyone wanting to "be better" in some way; that's what sells.

[bloomer]

@LastThursday

Just now, LastThursday said:

The primary motivation behind the industry is to make money. If they can do that by playing on men's status anxiety then they will. However, I think the general thrust isn't about status at all, but simply everyone wanting to "be better" in some way; that's what sells.

The primary reason behind the industry is, yes, but the industry can only get it's profit if it provides some form of a service, this service is to train men like good doggies how to increase their status to get the bone of pussy. Ofcourse a large part of media is to create desire where there was none previously so you will part ways with your money, but it's a pretty inherent biological drive for men to have anxiety when they're low on the totem pole and aren't getting laid. This applies to for practically all animals. I disagree the general thrust is definitely about status. What makes you say it isn't? No one really cares about being "better" in some vague airy fairy way. They care about being better to be higher status. 

[LastThursday]

Of course you want to defend your point of view. But it doesn't make sense. Women also engage in self-help, so they have to be sold to as well. It makes no sense for an industry to sell to just half the population. Unless you're thinking all self-help is just carried out by men? And if so, what's your justification for that?

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm not sure if I agree with you. Most men don't self improve to get laid. This has to be some beta male mentality. Alphas self improve because there are plenty of benefits to self improvement. 

Benefit 1

You're looked up to by other men. Alphas care a lot about being competitive and standing out. They want to dominate any group they are a part of. Being better than other men is a huge pride boost. Men live on pride. 

A man feels good about himself when he feels he is better than most other men.

 

Benefit 2

Resources. What will a poor man do? Men love to gather resources. They want to feel like they have things - house, cash, access to best care. This is core of being a man. 

Go ask any homeless man. They feel shitty about themselves because they can't afford things other men can. This makes them feel helpless and bound to a very restricted life. Men love to expand their wings, enjoy life, they want that testosterone and adrenaline flowing, that needs money and resources. 

Most men travel, create a healthy lifestyle and engage in fun activities like drinking, clubbing, gymming, sports. This is not possible if you are homeless. 

So most men work hard to at least make enough money to afford basic fun things. 

 

Benefit 3

The hunger for power. A lot of men want power. They want to be doctors, leaders, politicians, preachers. This satisfies their inner manliness. They strive to become that. This is pure ambition and women or getting laid has nothing to do with this. It's just the prestige that comes with power and the feeling of gratification and achievement. 

 

Benefit 4 

Retirement. When a man carefully plans his adult life and makes enough income, he can retire peacefully not worrying about who's gonna provide for him when he is unable to walk. Honestly this is the biggest driver for most men. They have to feed themselves all their lives. And the biggest stressor is who's going to help them in old age. That's why men are always Impatient around time. Time running out is a death sentence for men if they've not managed to make something out of that time. 

 

The constraints of living and livelihood on men is what pushes them to succeed, build wealth and create a better life and that's why men in poorer countries actually do a better job at pushing and being ambitious. 

Immigrants work harder than natives. Because nothing pushes men like poverty. 

This is less about getting laid and more about core survival and manhood. 

I get it, being a man is hard. 

 

Edited January 19, 2023 by Tyler Robinson

[bloomer]

@LastThursday

12 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Women also engage in self-help, so they have to be sold to as well.

Yes they do but for different reasons and not to the same degree as men, women still engage in self help to increase their status but not to increase their status for sexual satiation. That obviously comes easy to them and is less of a desire anyway. 

13 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

It makes no sense for an industry to sell to just half the population.

People will sell to whoever, whatever will be bought. If that happens to disproportionately one sex then that's that. There are many things sold exclusively to one sex. This is an argument that's silly.

14 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Unless you're thinking all self-help is just carried out by men? And if so, what's your justification for that?

Evidently no. 

[Thought Art]

What drives me is not getting laid. I got laid when I was a fuck up. Lot's of fuckups get laid.

What drives me is my vision of being a powerful creator, extremely conscious, loving and wise. 

[LastThursday]

1 minute ago, bloomer said:

People will sell to whoever, whatever will be bought. If that happens to disproportionately one sex then that's that. There are many things sold exclusively to one sex. This is an argument that's silly.

Except that most self-help material I've come across is not targeted at a particular sex.

Self-help is broad and includes lots of categories. You're right that some categories may be biased towards one sex or the other, but on the whole it's not. Nutrition or improving mental health or having "rules" for life has nothing to do with sex. 

If you look at the top selling self-help books, like "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" or "Atomic Habits", these are gender neutral and have nothing to do with what you're saying.

 

 

[Thought Art]

Where you are with your vision, education, ego and value development will shape what YOU, just YOU think about personal development. 

[Rafael Thundercat]

1 hour ago, bloomer said:

If you improve yourself but you get nothing from it, then why improve? 

You can recognize the natural carrots and natural sticks that motivate you to improve. But eventually you must generate intrinsic factors of motivation for yourself, otherwise you will just move inspired by future promisses of pussy and status ( carrot) or run away from fears of punishments (lack of pussy and status) 

Do you wish that someone cofirm your beliefs about this topic of motivation?what is your aim with this post?

[Rafael Thundercat]

[Thought Art]

 

[bloomer]

@Rafael Thundercat

5 minutes ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

You can recognize the natural carrots and natural sticks that motivate you to improve. But eventually you must generate intrinsic factors of motivation for yourself, otherwise you will just move inspired by future promisses of pussy and status ( carrot) or run away from fears of punishments (lack of pussy and status) 

Do you wish that someone cofirm your beliefs about this topic of motivation?what is your aim with this post?

I've been struggling to find any intrinsic ways to motivate myself. I read a book recently "The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson". Since then it really helped me not to care about the fears and punishments. But it also took away me caring about the carrot as much. It's tough to be motivated when you don't care about the carrot or stick. I guess I want people to confirm my beliefs if they're right. I also secretly kind of want people to prove me wrong because I'm sick of not being motivated lol

[MarkKol]

@bloomer thinking about what’s the most outrageous shit he can post today

[Thought Art]

@bloomer Leo's life purpose course covers a lot of that stuff.

Discovering your own values is important. You do you want? You don't need to do it all at once either. Maybe right now getting laid, dating, and doing pickup (consciously) is where you need to be.

Be patient. for me, I am really motivated by art and health. 

[bloomer]

@MarkKol

1 minute ago, MarkKol said:

@bloomer thinking about what’s the most outrageous shit he can post today

Leo has put me in the naughty corner so I'm on good behavior now Mark. I honestly don't try to be outrageous lol, I just can be. 

@Tyler Robinson

44 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I'm not sure if I agree with you. Most men don't self improve to get laid. This has to be some beta male mentality. Alphas self improve because there are plenty of benefits to self improvement. 

It seems to me that women go straight to implying men are impotent the moment they acknowledge just how much of male action is motivated by the desire for status and copulation. It's I think a shaming tactic to silence men. They create this binary where you're either high status "alpha" or low status "beta" and shame you when you don't live up to being "alpha". By happenstance the alphas decisions directly benefit them whereas betas decisions don't. It's a real head scratcher.

47 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Benefit 1

You're looked up to by other men. Alphas care a lot about being competitive and standing out. They want to dominate any group they are a part of. Being better than other men is a huge pride boost. Men live on pride. 

A man feels good about himself when he feels he is better than most other men.

If there is competition, there is a price. If there is no price, the competition is not worth it.

Society is starting to realize men don't want to just kill themselves for a better society, since society have nothing to offer them anymore. So, just like in Japan since the 90s, men slowly fade away and live minimal life, just to enjoy themselves and be happy with just their hobbies and friends.

But when men see what self help and the carrot is, they become demotivated. The problem for society is men need only very little to live happy. A small comfy place, an internet connection and some money left for their hobbies. Nothing more, nothing less. That's how you end up with lot of men doing the bare minimum, mostly part time jobs, making little money with their hobbies and not participating in society anymore. This is a problem when you want your economy and society works and elite make big money, but it's not a problem for men. It's a problem for society and women to have these "betas" existing. 

Create a society that is worth participating in for men, give men a legitimate reason for men to compete, or just shut up.

49 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Benefit 2

Resources. What will a poor man do? Men love to gather resources. They want to feel like they have things - house, cash, access to best care. This is core of being a man. 

Go ask any homeless man. They feel shitty about themselves because they can't afford things other men can. This makes them feel helpless and bound to a very restricted life. Men love to expand their wings, enjoy life, they want that testosterone and adrenaline flowing, that needs money and resources. 

Most men travel, create a healthy lifestyle and engage in fun activities like drinking, clubbing, gymming, sports. This is not possible if you are homeless. 

So most men work hard to at least make enough money to afford basic fun things. 

As mentioned before, men only need very little. See below meme. Men accumulate resources largely to impress women and to gain status as that's what women select for. 

51 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Benefit 3

The hunger for power. A lot of men want power. They want to be doctors, leaders, politicians, preachers. This satisfies their inner manliness. They strive to become that. This is pure ambition and women or getting laid has nothing to do with this. It's just the prestige that comes with power and the feeling of gratification and achievement. 

The underlying motivation for power is about getting laid. Also power is a synonym for status. 

51 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Benefit 4 

Retirement. When a man carefully plans his adult life and makes enough income, he can retire peacefully not worrying about who's gonna provide for him when he is unable to walk. Honestly this is the biggest driver for most men. They have to feed themselves all their lives. And the biggest stressor is who's going to help them in old age. That's why men are always Impatient around time. Time running out is a death sentence for men if they've not managed to make something out of that time. 

Again, men need very little to be happy.

 

[Thought Art]

This video shows the big picture of self help!

 

Edited January 19, 2023 by Thought Art

[Tyler Robinson]

@bloomer you act as though if women are eliminated entirely from society then all the men on planet earth are going to create some kind of an high virtue egalitarian society. 

Then why do gay men compete? 

Where's your rationale for gay men? 

Your logic is based in fantasy. 

Women don't give or take any value from you. We're governed by the same social factors that you as a man are governed by. 

In any social group, men or women will try to dominate each other, this is how social hierarchy works. It's too simplistic and you're making it overly complicated for no reason other than your own hidden biases. 

You are not able to get women so this is the outpouring of it, the inner frustration trying to rationalize the world through the lens of your frustration. 

Rather than playing the blame game and satisfying your ego, use the frustration as a fertilizer for your growth. 

You need maturity and some hard lessons on life. 

Goodluck. 

[Michael569]

Self-improvement is about so much more than that. 

• it's about becoming financially independent so that you don't have to slave your ass for a soul destroying corporation 
• it's about getting mastery over your own psyche so that you don;t become the slave to your urges and cravings like the majority of the society 
• it's about uncovering your passion and purpose and realising what are you supposed to do with your life - and all the self-help advice is then aimed at helping you be even better at that 
• it's aimed to help you avoid a live a life of mystery and depression 
• yes, partially it is also to secure a high-quality relationship/marriage and all the perks that come with that 
• it is also about bringing up tier 2 offspring 
• eventually you are supposed to transcend all of that and rise above it but you ain't getting there from ground zero. 

 

Edited January 19, 2023 by Michael569

[bloomer]

@Tyler Robinson

10 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

You act as though if women are eliminated entirely from society then all the men on planet earth are going to create some kind of an high virtue egalitarian society. 

No I think women civilize men, in large part by castrating them or sedating their sexual urges. Egalitarianism is a feminine ideology. Men are all about dividing people into groups and tribes. Then competing in those groups and having them fight one another. 

12 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Then why do gay men compete? 

Where's your rationale for gay men? 

Gay men are still men biological hard wired like heterosexual men with the same cravings. They're just mutants that keep in the gene pool because they serve in pro social ways. For example homosexual men mean less competition for heterosexual men which stabilizes society. Also I'd theorize although admittedly I haven't seen much evidence for this and I wonder if it exists, but I would think homosexual men are far less competitive than straight men. Also I think in most realms of male competition straight men would pummel gay men. Gay men typically more effeminate than the average straight male so more alike women so inherently less competitive. 

15 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

In any social group, men or women will try to dominate each other, this is how social hierarchy works. It's too simplistic and you're making it overly complicated for no reason other than your own hidden biases. 

Yes but the sexes dominate one another for different reasons. Yes it is all about status. I don't think I'm making it complicated at all. 

16 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

You are not able to get women so this is the outpouring of it, the inner frustration trying to rationalize the world through the lens of your frustration. 

I've been told I'm quite attractive by a few girls, I'm pretty tall. I workout. I just don't really pursue women or get out enough. Maybe the fact that I'm not getting enough women is part of the reason I've been drawn to think about this topic. But I think this is more of what I mentioned in the previous post of shaming and silence by questioning a mans sexual virility. Also how exactly would what I'm saying rationalize my frustration? So you're saying I'm sexually frustrated and because I'm frustrated this is my world view, ok, but how does my world view rationalize my sexual frustration? How am I supposed to feel any better because this is my world view, is my question. 

19 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Rather than playing the blame game and satisfying your ego, use the frustration as a fertilizer for your growth. 

Sorry who am I blaming for what exactly?