Modern women are selfish?

[something_else]

54 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I don't understand how paying for an app will change anything. If anything you're just filling someone's pockets. 

If you are having to pay for the results that you are supposed to get by already signing up, don't you think it's a straight up scam?

So, in theory it can change things. If you pay for Platinum your swipes are much higher priority and so you will be seen by something like 10x more people.

It doesn’t save you if you don’t have the looks for online or if your profile is terrible, and if you already have an exceptional profile and looks you’ll still do really well without it. But there’s a subsection of guys in the middle who have a good enough profile to get swiped right on, but not so good that the tinder algorithm shows them to tons of women for free. These guys are who benefit from paid exposure

In a sense it can be worth it. As a guy you are pretty much always going to need to spend money to meet women.

So it’s not directly a scam but there are likely very very shady tactics going on behind the scenes to extract as much money as possible from needy guys. They are there to make money, not find you a partner. And like you say, it’s an algorithm. You don’t want to leave your dating life up to an algorithm that is not prioritising your success at all.

In terms of judging people for using dating apps, you really shouldn’t. Plenty of people do have happy and loving relationships from online. At least in western countries, almost every man under 40 who’s single has tried tinder and a decent chunk of women in that age range too.

 

[Tyler Robinson]

3 minutes ago, something_else said:

So it’s not directly a scam but there are likely very very shady tactics going on behind the scenes to extract as much money as possible from needy guys.

That's what I'm trying to imply. How do you know that the female profiles (I mean the extra ones) aren't bots(like paid testimonials), set up to make it look like you're profiting by paying? The whole thing could be a scam. Maybe even the dates are staged.

There is no way to trust a system that is deliberately playing around the algorithm to make profit off vulnerable users. If they're using shady tactics, it's just another rabbit hole to avoid. 

Right now I surfed on YouTube and found many videos criticising Tinder and how people are swindled by it. 

This tells me that nothing about the Tinder algorithm can be trusted.

Even the extra matches could be a part of their set up. 

 

[something_else]

1 minute ago, Tyler Robinson said:

That's what I'm trying to imply. How do you know that the female profiles (I mean the extra ones) aren't bots(like paid testimonials), set up to make it look like you're profiting by paying? The whole thing could be a scam. Maybe even the dates are staged.

There are bots if you live in the worlds biggest cities but I’ve never had an issue with it. I doubt dates are being faked.

And I’ve seen lots of places online hint at lots of female profiles on Tinder being completely fake and just added by Tinder so men have something to swipe on and feel sad when they don’t get matched, but I’m almost certain that isn’t true and is just cope. You can tell when profiles are real, especially since it’s a local thing. I know that tinder isn’t generating fake profiles with shitty in-jokes relating to the Scottish city I live in but most bios here have stuff like that

Same goes for matches when paying for premium, they’re almost all real girls

The manipulation is more in the form of manipulating your exposure level to girls and how it drip feeds you matches based on your activity and how likely it thinks you are to give them money

[Tyler Robinson]

2 minutes ago, something_else said:

There are bots if you live in the worlds biggest cities but I’ve never had an issue with it. I doubt dates are being faked.

And I’ve seen lots of places online hint at lots of female profiles on Tinder being completely fake and just added by Tinder so men have something to swipe on and feel sad when they don’t get matched, but I’m almost certain that isn’t true and is just cope. You can tell when profiles are real, especially since it’s a local thing. I know that tinder isn’t generating fake profiles with shitty in-jokes relating to the Scottish city I live in but most bios here have stuff like that

Same goes for matches when paying for premium, they’re almost all real girls

The manipulation is more in the form of manipulating your exposure level to girls and how it drip feeds you matches based on your activity and how likely it thinks you are to give them money

I haven't really experienced Tinder. Everything I have speculated is based on the terrible stories I've heard about Tinder. But anyway, good if paying works, although paying for dating already sounds not so fun, drab. 

Taking a woman out on a date and paying for the dinner is fun fun but paying to get more swipes is such a hole in the sole. I don't know, but if I were a man It would make me feel like I'm desperate for women and that's a dip in self esteem. 

Ironically these dating apps are what makes men even more miserable. They don't boost self esteem. They make men more dependent on female validation especially by making them pay. 

It just sounds cheap and corny. 

Like paying to get a look at a girl. Imagine if you paid, then found the girl to be low quality, that's going to be a major disappointment. A hurt to the ego. 

Being rejected in real life is far better, at least you know you didn't lose any money in asking a woman out.. 

That's why dating apps should be a second option. Primary option should be real life socializing. 

[Kid A]

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Taking a woman out on a date and paying for the dinner is fun fun but paying to get more swipes is such a hole in the sole. I don't know, but if I were a man It would make me feel like I'm desperate for women and that's a dip in self esteem. 

In the last two months I've been seeing a girl I met through Tinder, and she thinks that men who go to bars and night clubs just to meet girls, are really desperate... 

My best friend met the mother of his child through Tinder. Another friend of mine met his girlfriend there around eight years ago. One in four couples meet online these days, and Tinder is by far the most popular one, last time I checked.  

[Kshantivadin]

5 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

You risk losing other women who might have been interested in you otherwise since Tinder automatically creates a bad impression....

... in your eyes 

[Tyler Robinson]

2 hours ago, Kid A said:

In the last two months I've been seeing a girl I met through Tinder, and she thinks that men who go to bars and night clubs just to meet girls, are really desperate... 

You might find my logic flawed. But... 

Men who I would consider desperate - 

• Men on Tinder (specifically Tinder) 
• Men who go to bars and clubs 
• Men who chase women in grocery stores 

Men who I would not consider desperate - 

• Men who build a social circle and meet girls through that 
• Men who pick girls on streets or practice pick up in day game on street and not just for sex but to hone their social skills with strangers 
• Men who read books and attend pickup programs or courses and workshops
• Men who meet girls at gyms, parties, workplace, classes, festivals and events. 

 

The above things look decent and acceptable to me as per social calibration rules. 

Would you like a girl who is sleeping with a new man every week? I think most men wouldn't consider her to be an ideal person. 

Similarly a relatively decent woman has some standards and would not prefer men who go anywhere to get women. I mean it reflects the caliber of the guy. 

Decent men aren't too needy or desperate. It doesn't reflect good on men. Usually such men are bad sign in relationships. 

A decent man knows to wait for his ideal woman. 

Thrill seeking guys are just like women who sleep around. It's not a matter of judgment, it's a matter of standards and what you don't want to put up with. 

I think most people deserve better than be pumped and dumped in relationships. 

 

Edited January 21, 2023 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

52 minutes ago, Kshantivadin said:

... in your eyes 

Tinder has a seedy reputation. I'm not even kidding. 

This shows up 15 hours ago in my news feed. 

 

[Kid A]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Men who pick girls on streets or practice pick up in day game on street and not just for sex but to hone their social skills with strangers 

I've done a lot of this. I realized in the end that 90% of the girl I approach finds this pretty unpleasant, so I stopped doing it completely. It's too unethical. 

[Leo Gura]

If you're gonna do online dating, definitely pay for it. It's still way cheaper than going to a club.

$30/mo is nothing if it works for you.

Edited January 21, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Girzo]

14 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I cannot think of men who stuff like Tinder to be interested in wanting a relationship. 

Must be the reason why half of my friends and me included have found our partners on Tinder. Hmm...

So much bad reputation it makes me an attractive bad boy, I guess 

 

I am vouching for Tinder for finding a long-term partner, if you aren't as focused on looks as Leo and some other guys here, then there's plenty of quality girls on Tinder for you.

[Karmadhi]

11 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Men who I would not consider desperate - 

• Men who build a social circle and meet girls through that 
• Men who pick girls on streets or practice pick up in day game on street and not just for sex but to hone their social skills with strangers 

I wish more girls thought like you....

[kamwalker]

On 1/20/2023 at 7:37 AM, Leo Gura said:

 

If your goal is to find yourself the one dream girlfriend, online game is gonna be your worst option because that's the lowest quality girl you can get. If your goal is just to sleep with a bunch of random girls, online is perfect for that.

Are you sure about that? I have thought the same in the past but my brother and two best friends have found cute wholesome girls that they are now in long term relationships/married with through online dating. If I were to say what you said out loud in front of them it would be incredibly offensive and demeaning to their girls. It makes me think I'm just making excuses that I can't find a high quality girl online when they were able to do it. 

[ZenAlex]

On 19/01/2023 at 0:44 PM, Karmadhi said:

Then why good guys struggle with girls a lot more than bad boys? This is not rocket science...

Forget about the good guys/bad boys dichotomy, it's stupid.

Be confident and don't be a pussy. You don't have to be a terrible person, just don't be too nice.

[vindicated erudite]

I think confused is a better term.

[Chives99]

everybody is selfish, but people are also really loving as well, but because you feel like you need them so much to be complete you have nothing to give because your empty, insecurity IS NOT LOVE, LOVE IS PEACE, LOVE IS A SILENT MIND, women are sweet and lovely, u should make chitchat with them at work at a social event or where ever you meet them, I dont agree with cold approach, if you make eye contact with someone at a social occassion or event  sure go and  talk to them, ask them about themselves, where they from hobbies etc, then add them on facebook and keep in touch, i  dont do phone numbers , well unless she brings it up. Chat on facebook, ask her out, ask her out again, then you'll sleep with her and she'll eventually become your girlfriend 

[StarStruck]

8 hours ago, Chives99 said:

everybody is selfish, but people are also really loving as well, but because you feel like you need them so much to be complete you have nothing to give because your empty, insecurity IS NOT LOVE, LOVE IS PEACE, LOVE IS A SILENT MIND, women are sweet and lovely, u should make chitchat with them at work at a social event or where ever you meet them, I dont agree with cold approach, if you make eye contact with someone at a social occassion or event  sure go and  talk to them, ask them about themselves, where they from hobbies etc, then add them on facebook and keep in touch, i  dont do phone numbers , well unless she brings it up. Chat on facebook, ask her out, ask her out again, then you'll sleep with her and she'll eventually become your girlfriend 

Beautiful 

[Kid A]

On 23.1.2023 at 10:47 AM, ZenAlex said:

Forget about the good guys/bad boys dichotomy, it's stupid.

Be confident and don't be a pussy. You don't have to be a terrible person, just don't be too nice.

Agreed. That bad boy thing just seems like a big myth to me. I've been on dates where I've been yelled at (and of course rejected) for being rude and offensive for something I would consider nothing. Can't think of any way being a bad boy has ever helped me. Not being too nice, on the other hand, that's a great advice.

Edited February 6, 2023 by Kid A

[StarStruck]

@Kid A Women were always selfish because they have to for them and their offspring to survive. They are the gate keepers. 
Peterson explains it very well in this video:

 

[Karmadhi]

On 1/20/2023 at 5:25 PM, Leo Gura said:

I call BS on that, or his matches are monsters from the black lagoon

I recently hanged out with a super super average looking guy and he showed my his Tinder profile. Many matches, some pretty decent girls and plenty of convos and even some nudes. So yeah it is just limiting belief from your part.

There is 1 catch though, he looks way better in his pics. I showed his main profile pic to someone and they said "he looks nice", in real life they would never say so.