Why Am I Attracting Wrong People Into My Life

[maryam]

I am positive,i really do work on myself and i am ready to meet  him but where is he ?

[DanoDMano]

17 minutes ago, maryam said:

I am positive,i really do work on myself and i am ready to meet  him but where is he ?

@maryam  I'm sure he's asking the same thing about you. Where is she?  Patients. Continue to stay positive and your path's will cross. You can't rush fate. If you try you just end up mucking up the natural order of things.

[maryam]

Thank you  but what do you mean with patient, because i am being patient .

[DanoDMano]

19 minutes ago, maryam said:

Thank you  but what do you mean with patient, because i am being patient .

@maryam Are you? Because if you were, then you wouldn't be asking where he is, you'd just be patient and waiting.

Just an observation.

[maryam]

Can u Inspire me plz 

[Lynnel]

Sorry, the answer may seem harsh but : it's because you're a match to that. You attract what you are.

The way you framed the problems makes me think that you are not in fact positive, because it's like : I LACK HIM where is HE frame, which is a form of neediness. Do not worry : with enough progress you will attract many great people into your life.

[maryam]

Ok Thx

[SenshiAna]

Like @Lynnel said: don't concentrate on the lack: it will make you stress and put out the wrong vibe. Instead, develop gratitude practices and openness towards others - and everyone! When paying for coffee, when going to the supermarket, at school, at work... whatever. This will train you to be in a cheerful and calm state of mind. Also, by doing that you will balance your feminine energy too. You will feel most certainly more happy! It's when you concentrate on the lack that you become unhappy and it's wilting your shine.

As for the wrong people you mention, try to identify what is it that you are doing that are attracting these guys. Men that only want to "ride your bicycle" will always be around, but for some reason they are bothering you. 

You are above all of that. Be straightforward with your wants and needs, and eventually the ones that don't matter will begin to appear less of a problem.... unless you do want to keep this kind of man...

Edited February 13, 2016 by SenshiAna

[Leo Gura]

Your question is extremely vague. Try rephrasing and being 10x more specific about your situation, otherwise you'll get bad advice.

[Lava]

I don't know what it is about women, but personally I have the worst kind of interactions with them. All my life I've had either one sided attractions or just  pure uninteresting relationships with girls. I tried pick, well I watch a bunch of youtube videos, and then I saw Leo's video and decided to stop consuming that content to avoid the unnatural feeling of manipulating people. Also i feel like a girl who I have to manipulate into being with me isn't worth it, no matter how sexually frustrated or lonely i may be sometimes, it makes me feel like I'm selling myself out to someone who wouldn't ordinarily be attracted to me. So now when I go about my social life no matter what the setting, I just tend to do what makes me comfortable, which is to just take a seat if I can and relax until something interesting happens to get me to interact, because sometimes its hard not to be neurotic in a new environment so this helps me to take the edge off, and I become a lot more approachable and fun, as opposed to looking like I'm going to throw up. All that said, I want to know if you guys think that this is a good way to go about my interactions with women? should I just let fate take the wheel and allow? situations to naturally occur, or should i force the issue and always approach women that i think are attractive?

[Jesper]

11 hours ago, DanoDMano said:

@maryam  I'm sure he's asking the same thing about you. Where is she?  Patients. Continue to stay positive and your path's will cross. You can't rush fate. If you try you just end up mucking up the natural order of things.

I'm sorry, but this is vague and useless advice. It's the same thing as what people told me when I was a teenager. "Just be yourself, and you will meet her someday!", "Just be positive and be patient and things will be alright!".

It doesn't work like that. Don't surrender to your "fate". There is no such thing as your fate that you have to surrender to. You have to work on yourself, and take action. Nobody is suddenly going to ring your doorbell one day and tell you "Here I am, your prince on the white horse!".

If you are attracting the wrong people in your life, then you have to really start learning and thinking hard about yourself. What exactly is wrong with these people you are attracting? Why are you attracting them? What are you doing that attracts the wrong people? Maybe you have some hidden desire that makes you feel attracted to them?

Find out exactly what you are doing that keeps you in this situation, and then find a way to change yourself.

Edited February 13, 2016 by Jesper

[Elena]

2 hours ago, Jesper said:

I'm sorry, but this is vague and useless advice. It's the same thing as what people told me when I was a teenager. "Just be yourself, and you will meet her someday!", "Just be positive and be patient and things will be alright!".

It doesn't work like that. Don't surrender to your "fate". There is no such thing as your fate that you have to surrender to. You have to work on yourself, and take action. Nobody is suddenly going to ring your doorbell one day and tell you "Here I am, your prince on the white horse!".

If you are attracting the wrong people in your life, then you have to really start learning and thinking hard about yourself. What exactly is wrong with these people you are attracting? Why are you attracting them? What are you doing that attracts the wrong people? Maybe you have some hidden desire that makes you feel attracted to them?

Find out exactly what you are doing that keeps you in this situation, and then find a way to change yourself.

Well, to be fair OPs question was pretty vague too.  If she gave age/level of education/ height/ weight/ job it would be easier to give adequate advice. If OP is a 3 and is attracted to 10. Well, its pretty obvious what the problem is. I have loads of oaverweight friends that would only date guys with abs. And - you guessed it- they are not dating anyone.

There are loads of reasons why someone would not be successful in a relationship.

[DanoDMano]

8 hours ago, Jesper said:

I'm sorry, but this is vague and useless advice. It's the same thing as what people told me when I was a teenager. "Just be yourself, and you will meet her someday!", "Just be positive and be patient and things will be alright!".

It doesn't work like that. Don't surrender to your "fate". There is no such thing as your fate that you have to surrender to. You have to work on yourself, and take action. Nobody is suddenly going to ring your doorbell one day and tell you "Here I am, your prince on the white horse!".

If you are attracting the wrong people in your life, then you have to really start learning and thinking hard about yourself. What exactly is wrong with these people you are attracting? Why are you attracting them? What are you doing that attracts the wrong people? Maybe you have some hidden desire that makes you feel attracted to them?

Find out exactly what you are doing that keeps you in this situation, and then find a way to change yourself.

@Jesper I have to disagree with you. We each follow our own path in life. I've learned through experience that there is an natural order of your life. Our growth and wellbeing depends on this. You say that nobody is going to just knock on your door someday. How do you know that? You might order a pizza and the one delivering that pizza was meant for you all along. They might be your co-worker, a friend of a friend, behind you in line at a coffee shop. With a simple hello it could change your life with no effort at all. This is fate.

Second, it's not that your attracting negative people. These people are every where. The trick is to know they are negative before you even allow them into your life. We just need the awareness to not allow them in. We need to find the strength and confidence to say no, get away from me, and avoid them no matter how hard they may try to become a part of your reality. When you find (feel) those positive people, you want them in your life. Positive energy is felt when you come into contact with them. It is the law of attraction. It is our intuition. When we start surrounding ourselves with this energy those negative people lose their power. 

I'm at a point in my life that I can read these negative energies the moment I met them. They will try everything to be a part of my life, as if I can help them somehow. As if they need something from me. Or as if I have something they want. This isn't arrogance, it's simply awareness. Today I have nothing but positive people in my circle. I don't worry about the negative ones in the least. They will always be there, I just don't let them in. This is my experience and this is what I share here. I'm not just blowing hot air dude. We each have the right to our own opinions. I respectfully disagree with yours.

   

[maryam]

Thanks Leo and all of you guys for giving me feed backs, they all make sense and doesn't. We communicate and none of us don't know each other well, The point is that i am a little bit disappointed at life , and despite the comment that you guys find my approach sound needy , for sure I am not ! 

For the last maybe 20 years i am working on myself, from taking classes, seminars, meditation retreats, reading books ( sometimes 4 at the same time) i especially the last 3 years 4 or 5 hours on youtube, watching only spirituality, philosophy and ,,, i was so hungry to know  why and i loved and enjoyed it, till i watched Leo Video about awakening, i got so scared and depressed that i even posted some comments on thas topic but no response.

Anyhow I know law of attraction exist because many years ago without me knowing about it , i could manifest anything i wanted but now everything stopped,  something doesn't make sense ! help:)

[maryam]

Leo, let me clear something that i said in my previous note, i think you are the only spiritual teacher that i know to tell the Truth directly, after watching that video i got scared because finally i could clearly see the Truth !  and i truly think everyone who is in this path should get to watch your videos about enlightenment. U r amazingly unique and generous.  Thank you

[Guest]

@maryamfocusing on what you want in life is a good way to not get swept up and overwhelmed.

[Guest]

On 13.2.2016 at 1:18 AM, maryam said:

I am positive,i really do work on myself and i am ready to meet  him but where is he ?

Why, I am here tho

[Natura Sonoris]

I ll keep it short as possible.

On 2/13/2016 at 1:18 AM, maryam said:

I am positive,i really do work on myself and i am ready to meet  him but where is he ?

If you are truly working on yourself, you should know enough what is ''good'' and ''bad'' for you ? Also you should not take any relationship too personally. Of course, if you can get many honest stuff about yourself when you take a better look after break up, you can get wiser and wiser about what you want in relationship. 

If you get into bad relationships, it is only your fault why you are doing it. Everything is mostly romantic bullshit.If you take this as honest answer and contemplate it for a while, you will see it is true. You have certain ego voids you are trying to fill with those persons and they are most likely coming from your insecurities. If you work hard on digging them up, you will see there is pattern happening. If you read Six pillars of self-esteem, you will find a chapter on very beginning of the book who talks about man or woman ruining her relationships because they had some hidden problems.

Best question to ask yourself : Why i even need that person in my life ? After that write down those reasons and keep asking : Why i think i need to get xx from that specific person in order to be fulfilled ? Keep doing this for a while and you will discover some really great stuff on which you can work on and then you will attract someone who is on same level as you. Along with that, you will start to notice what you really don't want.

Just doing contemplation about my previous relationship, i discovered some really fucked up stuff about me. It was nothing serious in general, but for my ego it was shocking. And now i am happy i am always to be as honest as possible with myself. Everything else is just lies and bullshits packed in really nice box that looks charming for yourself. So ask yourself ; Do you want someone who will keep giving you nice little boxes packed with bullshit or you want someone who is being as honest with themselves and maybe that can grow to be something beyond yourselves. I am being harsh, but i prefer it like this myself so don't take it as me judging you or something similar

Btw, i kinda assume you are quite young, am i correct ?

Edited February 14, 2016 by Natura Sonoris

[maryam]

55

[Natura Sonoris]

3 hours ago, maryam said:

55

Hmm, it is a kinda of surprise for me, but anyway, follow my tips and you will get more clarity (at least more than you probably have now). There are many useful books on this subject, but for me personally the major improvement happened when i really questioned how i value relationships and more important how those values were created in first place. I realized that some of those values were coming from some negative experiences from the past that created a void in me that needed to be fulfilled. Those events were not something traumatic or anything like that, but for me personally, most honest answers for myself came when i questioned those hidden sneaky stuff that many people take as ''unnecessary.'' 

One huge insight that i got when i questioned all my values and beliefs in general is that we have a certain need to use them in every day life to fulfill our self-image. We have certain emotions that drive us to do that every second and we are not aware of them at all (if you do meditation, you know how our mind if fucked up). Our beliefs change if there is some external phenomenon with specific structure that can break our mental web and this results in creating even more complex webs. The problem is that sometimes our mind takes a lot of negative emotional garbage and tries to make balance by forcing some sneaky bullshit in order to feel ''happy.'' But if you really question it, it is just deception and bullshit. If theoretically you found the perfect one, you would not be any happier. 

Last point i will mention is your need to even post this ''problem'' on forum. First of all, i can see it has some dreamy structure to it since it seeks for some ''perfect'' man. Other reason it is presented in really vague fashion so best thing to do is also have a deep look what happened there when you were opening this topic. Your mind forced you to do it and there is nothing wrong with it, but be aware of every action like this you do. You might get more clarity just from observing the need for doing it than other peoples' points of view. 

As i mentioned, this is really direct and hardcore approach for some people, but for me it gave me huge improvements in life. 

Cheers

Edited February 16, 2016 by Natura Sonoris