Girlfriend wants an orgy

[onacloudynight]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

Didn't you use to have "My Secret Garden" recommended on the book list? I think it's a common fantasy, probably at least 20-40% of women have actively fantasized about it. Probably only like 5 of them only ever take steps to act it out though. 

I've done something like that before and it's not my favorite thing but the women are usually super into it. I think most women should try something like that in their lives and most men should try a threesome-foursome. Life's too short not to.

OP IMO break up with your girl and start hitting the gym. No reason you should be skinny for your whole life, you should be able to give your woman the experience of being fucked by a strong fit man. And I'm saying this as a skinny guy myself. 

Will start hitting the gym today 

[Kshantivadin]

10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

It works though. One can use traumas to motorboat oneself out of a rut. If onacloudynight looked at her playing with the big boys because he not being enough will definitely change some stuff within himself.

In most cases it's unloving to oneself. One traumatises oneself out of lack, not out of love. ❤️

[Girzo]

7 hours ago, LordFall said:

Life's too short not to

Life's too short to complicate it with having unusual sex acts, on the other hand.

Amount of thinking about the act , logistics and possible need for mental integration. It's all needless risk and complexity when you have life purpose going on.

[integral]

Start looking and dating another girl while in this one, its the only way to handle this blow.

Breaking up isnt the best move, thats an emotional reaction from a blow to your masculinity and it will pass.

At the same time own this one and change the mindset of what this relationship is. She is now a friend not a lover, make sure to make this transition.

 

Edited January 17, 2023 by integral

[onacloudynight]

9 hours ago, StarStruck said:

It is about your vibe and capacity for power/dominance. Don't rape people, it is not about that. You have to develop your charisma but currently you are in a derp state and you need something to awaken you........... Just attend that orgy and see how much she enjoys it. It will change you for good and you might hit the gym and go on MMA or something. And if it doesn't that is ok too, it just means you are not that type of guy and you will have to accept your place in the hierarchy, and be in peace with it.

Fuck that. I would rather be a rapist than accept my place in the hierarchy and not get sex.

I think it must be my genetics. My parents are fucking weaklings and have no capacity for dominance. I am the most dominant one in the family, but in society I am on the low side. I have a lot of problems. I didn't get properly socialized as a kid which I think is majorly screwing me up now.

I hate my parents so much. They are so fucking pathetic and scared of the world. They raised a fucking pussy and now I have to clean up their mess by getting myself out of this haze.

[integral]

9 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Just attend that orgy and see how much she enjoys it.

That will cause trauma. 

[onacloudynight]

1 hour ago, integral said:

That will cause trauma. 

I am beyond traumatized at this point. Nothing traumatizes me anymore. I think I have brain damage because of it. The human mind can only take so much.

Edited January 18, 2023 by onacloudynight

[Roy]

@onacloudynight It sounds like you need to take a break from relationships for a bit anyways. Consider this an unfortunate by necessary thing, "everything happens for a reason" as they say. When I broke up with my first serious girlfriend that I was living with, it sucked REALLY bad for about a week, and the future seemed impossible. But it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

You can become "dominate" and "strong" without becoming a total dude bro douche. You have to develop that part of yourself in your own way, not just copying an unhealthy archetype out of resentment because of a bad experience. You'll just invite more trouble that way. Watch out for that rabbit hole. Also don't resent or waste energy hating your parents or how they raised you. They were just unconscious of their own flaws and doing the best they could.

Take a step back into solitude for a short time and let your emotions pass, then start building healthy habits like going to the gym and asserting yourself in the world a bit more, like creating something, or pushing for a promotion/position of leadership at your work or school.

Don't take what happened too seriously and think it's all about you. Remember other people can be and are traumatized too. Appreciate that. You're gonna be alright, Rome wasn't build in a day.

Edited January 18, 2023 by Roy

[LordFall]

@integral Are you suggesting cheating on her or telling her that you now want the relationship to be open?

@onacloudynight You can rise up to whatever level you want to. Find the right teachers and never settle. No reason you can't be wealthy, fit and have a great relationship with one or many girls in a few years. 

@Girzo What is your life purpose that takes up so much time that it prevents you to work on your sex life? If it doesn't appeal you then don't pursue that path but don't lie to yourself saying you're too busy lol.

[Girzo]

@LordFall I am super cautious, such things can be a lot of drama. And for little reward. Sex with multiple partners is not necessarily improving sex. Could be, though.

I had been mildly interested in group sex. Consciously thought it through and discarded the idea, then discarded it together with my girlfriend. We both did cold analysis and deemed it a topic unworthy of our attention.

[Holymoly]

You should break up with her

[flowboy]

19 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

She said her past boyfriend raped her...

 

And that wasn't a red flag for you??

[flowboy]

9 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

I think it must be my genetics. My parents are fucking weaklings and have no capacity for dominance. I am the most dominant one in the family, but in society I am on the low side. I have a lot of problems. I didn't get properly socialized as a kid which I think is majorly screwing me up now.

I hate my parents so much. They are so fucking pathetic and scared of the world. They raised a fucking pussy and now I have to clean up their mess by getting myself out of this haze.

My dad literally used to say to me as a kid that I / " we in this family" are genetically weak.

I grew up not properly socialized, not fitting in, being bullied, thinking my parents are weak and made me weak, but everything I tried to do about it just got me into a deeper hole.

I got myself out of the haze. Happy to chat if you want my perspective on something.

Edited January 18, 2023 by flowboy

[Lyubov]

She wants to explore her sexuality a certain way. You obviously don’t want that to be a part of your relationship with her. You ended it, good.

Stop creating all negative self hating emotions with your beliefs. You are a spiritual being that is never worth less than your true value, which is the highest and greatest value of them all.

We all learn through mistakes and experience. You learned about what you want or don’t want in a partner and how to handle your his situation. Reflect on it and move on. 

No need to play the victim and create these self punishing emotions which you are 100% doing yourself, no external force is causing you to believe what you believe. 

You will be wiser and stronger having gone through this ?

[StarStruck]

10 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

Fuck that. I would rather be a rapist than accept my place in the hierarchy and not get sex.

I think it must be my genetics. My parents are fucking weaklings and have no capacity for dominance. I am the most dominant one in the family, but in society I am on the low side. I have a lot of problems. I didn't get properly socialized as a kid which I think is majorly screwing me up now.

I hate my parents so much. They are so fucking pathetic and scared of the world. They raised a fucking pussy and now I have to clean up their mess by getting myself out of this haze.

Raping will put you in jail. Just go to the gym and get into martial arts.

9 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

I am beyond traumatized at this point. Nothing traumatizes me anymore. I think I have brain damage because of it. The human mind can only take so much.

That is why I said you need something to awaken you out of the derp state.

Edited January 18, 2023 by StarStruck

[flowboy]

I love how everyone in this thread just took what the girl said at face value.

Her boyfriend "used to rape her" and she was okay with that, even reminisces positively about that.

Something is deeply unresolved in her psychology!

No reason to take this personally, and go on a self-hating quest to "get fit", "get more dominant", "get out of the derp state"

Dude.

You just dated a girl with some unresolved psychological issues, you found out about them, it caused an incompatibility, and you ended it.

That's all that happened.

You're letting your own low self esteem mess with you into thinking that it means something about you.

It's not about you.

[integral]

13 hours ago, LordFall said:

@integral Are you suggesting cheating on her or telling her that you now want the relationship to be open?

Right now all his suffering is caused by seeking love by tying his self-identity to the opinion of this one girl.

• Actual self: How people perceive themselves
• Social Self: How people feel others see them
• Ideal Social Self: How people would like others to see them
• Expected Self: How people expect to see themselves at some future time
• Ideal Self: How people would like to become

We are a combination of all of these. How important one is depends on that persons make up and ego development.

In this case and in 99% of relationships people seek there social-self and ideal-social-self in others. So the right strategy for him is to seek the opinion of another girl, to get a second opinion.

She already wants a open relationship and she went about it while hurting him, so he needs to find another girl. But additionally its not nessisariy to break up with her in a rage of hurt. That emotion will pass anyways. So he might be stuck after alone and regretful and try to get love from her again. Its best he RIGHT THIS SECOND is seeking another girlfriend, go socialize, do something that is not all about getting validation. 

Edited January 18, 2023 by integral

[StarStruck]

Any updates?