Is that okay that I am afraid to start doing things because I might not finish it?

[Parki]

It's also happened that if I start and not finish there is pretty much no point in beginning doing that, so how do I reconcile this?
I know it sounds very vague and general, but I don't know how to be more specific about this.

 

[thepixelmonk]

24 minutes ago, Parki said:

It's also happened that if I start and not finish there is pretty much no point in beginning doing that, so how do I reconcile this?

Completely untrue. We learn more from our failures than almost anything else in life. Every single successful person has failed more than most average people have even tried. Revisit this episode: 

 

[LastThursday]

It's ok to not finish things sometimes, no need to pressure yourself that way. You will finish things if they're important enough. But also commitment and discipline are skills you can learn over time. The only way to learn those skills is to start doing things.

[Gesundheit2]

It's called procrastination, and it's usually a sign of burnout and/or overthinking.

The answer to your question will depend on specifics that you did not provide. For example, are you trying to learn something or do something? And what is it that you are trying to learn or do?

In any case, meditation is a good practice that can help you with this problem. Rest and good sleep are important. And healthy foods and lifestyle are important, too.

Edited January 16, 2023 by Gesundheit2

[flowboy]

5 hours ago, Parki said:

It's also happened that if I start and not finish there is pretty much no point in beginning doing that, so how do I reconcile this?
I know it sounds very vague and general, but I don't know how to be more specific about this.

 

@Parki I personally have a tendency to do things about 75% of the way, and then invent a reason to procrastinate on the rest.

I've observed in myself and others that there can be a deep discomfort/anxiety around finishing.

This can be a deep pattern.

What helped me understand it better, was reading about birth imprints. (See Imprints by Arthur Janov)

Basically, how you do one thing is how you do everything, and it can be related to how smoothly your birth went.

To gain more understanding and compassion for yourself, ask your mother whether there were any complications, whether it took too long, if any medications or special procedures were used, anything at all.

Unwiring that deep pattern can be a lengthy process that needs some specific professional guidance.

Since I haven't gone through that, I need a practical workaround.

I've found it helpful to:

1. Practice being aware and noticing when it happens
2. Feel into the feeling that prevents you from finishing (notice that you are not getting sidetracked "by" external things, rather, there is a discomfort arising when you're about to finish, and you react to that by doing something else instead)
3. Get someone, maybe a friend or partner, to sit next to you for the finishing bit - they don't even have to help, just the presence of someone else helps to push through.
4. Alternatively, use this awareness to build a habit to push through by yourself. But get others to be with you when you can, it makes it a lot easier.

 

Edited January 16, 2023 by flowboy

[Parki]

@thepixelmonk I didn't say fail. I said not finishing. This is a really good example btw, I am trying to explain something to you, and if you don't get it there were no point in doing that. Also yes, we do learn a lot from failing/not finishing, but it's way disproportional what would be if I did finish the thing.

 

[thepixelmonk]

6 minutes ago, Parki said:

@thepixelmonk I didn't say fail. I said not finishing. This is a really good example btw, I am trying to explain something to you, and if you don't get it there were no point in doing that. Also yes, we do learn a lot from failing/not finishing, but it's way disproportional what would be if I did finish the thing.

You said there was "pretty much no point in beginning doing that ... how do I reconcile this". I said that is completely untrue, and to reconcile it by realizing the value of the experience and what you learned through the process.

Edited January 18, 2023 by thepixelmonk

[Parki]

@thepixelmonk could you elaborate? I am not getting it this far

[EternalForest]

It doesn't matter how many things you start, as long as you finish some of them. This is very true with writing especially. You're better off starting 10 writing projects and then only finishing 2 than starting none at all because of the pressure that you have to finish them all.

[Basman]

Quote

It's also happened that if I start and not finish there is pretty much no point in beginning doing that, so how do I reconcile this?

Do you mean that there's no point in having started something if you weren't going to finnish it. I don't think that is true, if it that's what you meant.

I'm an artist. I draw nearly daily. Most of the work I put in is never appreciated or recognized, and most of what I put out is mediocre as I'm a novice. To me, when it comes to creation, it's more important to just keep moving forward. Keep learning. Keep improving. Don't fret so much about the small stuff. Eventually you'll get to a point where it feels more natural. 

I have a weekly goal of one fully rendered drawing (Ca. 16-20 hours of work). I regularily hate what I end up making that week, but it keeps me drawing. I can visually tell looking back at my weekly submissions that I'm steadily improving, which warms my heart. That is something that works for me.

Just don't stop.