How to get my girlfriend's dad out of the way?

[onacloudynight]

My girlfriend and I are trying to set up a living situation together, but her mf dad keeps calling her, always checking up on her and wondering where she is at and shit.

How do I remove this mf?

Edited January 16, 2023 by onacloudynight

[something_else]

It's pretty normal for people to call their family members every day. My current GF speaks to her mum on the phone once or twice a day

There are a few ways to frame this. Either it's a rightfully concerned Dad who cares about his daughter, it's just a Dad who wants to keep in touch with his daughter, or he's being overprotective and controlling. You haven't given enough context for anyone to tell which it is.

And either way, it's not really your place to do anything about it. You shouldn't be trying to interfere in her family matters. You should support her in dealing with family issues, but not get involved

[onacloudynight]

1 minute ago, something_else said:

It's pretty normal for people to call their family members every day. My current GF speaks to her mum on the phone once or twice a day

There are a few ways to frame this. Either it's a rightfully concerned Dad who cares about his daughter, it's just a Dad who wants to keep in touch with his daughter, or he's being overprotective and controlling. You haven't given enough context for anyone to tell which it is.

And either way, it's not really your place to do anything about it. You shouldn't be trying to interfere in her family matters. You should support her in dealing with family issues, but not get involved

I refuse to listen to you bro. Her dad is getting in the way of OUR relationship. He is insinuating all this nonsense about me to get her to doubt our relationship together. He is really toxic, which is why I am trying to get her away from him.

[Leo Gura]

Communicate to her about the situtation rather than trying to manipulate behind her back.

Edited January 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[onacloudynight]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Communicate to her about the situtation rather than trying to manipulate behind her back.

I have communicated with her. She acts like she has no control over the situation and is at her dad's mercy.

Edited January 16, 2023 by onacloudynight

[Leo Gura]

Communicate some more. Help her learn how to set boundaries.

Edited January 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[onacloudynight]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Communicate some more. Help her learn how to set boundaries.

I will try that

[Roy]

Demonstrate to him that you are a responsible person, and his daughter is in good hands. He will ease up. I would mostly learn to live with it though, it's not your business to interfere in your partners familial relationships unless it becomes toxic/unsafe. Parents are just natural protective, it's normal.

One of the least chill things you can do is try to change or manipulate a girls connection with her family. Women HATE that shit. Be very careful about walking in that minefield. You don't want to make her upsetti spaghetti.

Edited January 16, 2023 by Roy

[something_else]

30 minutes ago, onacloudynight said:

He is really toxic, which is why I am trying to get her away from him.

This sounds kinda manipulative, idk.

it’s possible you’re in the right and he’s being toxic but the way you frame things thus far doesn’t sound particularly healthy to me either

A parent showing concern/caring over their child is pretty normal, especially when they are potentially moving in with someone new. It isn’t toxic for him to simply not like you. My ex’s parents didn’t really like me and you just kinda have to deal with it

As a BF you should never try to intentionally distance your partner from their family, even if you don’t get on well with them. That’s their decision to make. You support and offer perspective/guidance, but you don’t manipulate or scheme

[Raptorsin7]

1 hour ago, onacloudynight said:

How do I remove this mf?

Red flag bro. Consider the possibility that you may be the toxic one in the situation and her dad is rightfully being protective of his daughter.

If you really care about her then work to try and create harmony between her and her father so both people are happy if you end up moving in together.

[Ulax]

@onacloudynight I empathise with your desire dude.

I think the conscious thing to do is to be above board with this, and talk to her authentically about this and make suggestions.

It might just be that she is not emotionally mature enough to leave a seemingly unhealthy dynamic with her father at present. And if that dynamic is a deal breaker for you, then you guys aren't compatible atm imo.

Edited January 16, 2023 by Ulax

[Leo Gura]

You can also communicate with him.

Ultimately, if communication cannot solve the issue then it usually means a breakup is necessary.

Edited January 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[John Paul]

21 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You can also communicate with him.

Ultimately, if communication cannot solve the issue then it usually means a breakup is necessary.

Profound