Girlfriend gets in the way of getting work done

[integral]

7 hours ago, Devin said:

@integral I think your situation is normal, moving in together has a learning period, this thread is full of some ridiculous comments.

I agree. 

[Carl-Richard]

Negotiate boundaries?

[Thought Art]

@integral Why not go to a library to do your work during the day? Pay for access to a commune office space... Get out of the house.

Also, set boundaries. If you say are you unavailable and she asks you to do something... Be a man, tell her NO. And do your work. Tell her when you will be available. She has to learn that you mean your boundaries. If you don't respect the boundaries you have set by giving into her... she won't respect them.

It's really about you two loving each other. You two being a team, being friends and supporting each others growth. Work it out together.

If you can't do that, your work is so important to you... Do whatever you have to do.

Edited January 14, 2023 by Thought Art

[mmKay]

On 12/1/2023 at 4:11 AM, Leo Gura said:

If you're gonna live with a girl I'll tell you this right now: You are never Awakening.

do you have people over at your place often? not just girls, people overall.

[LordFall]

On 1/11/2023 at 8:13 PM, Leo Gura said:

Tell her to move out.

Don't allow distractions like that. Your space is divine and should not be given up for any girl.

Living together is only gonna make you two hate each other soon.

If you love a girl, the best way to ruin it is to see her too often. And everyday is the worst.

100% disagreed with this. As a man especially if you're sensitive to feminine energy and love women then living with your woman will be one of the funnest and most satisfying experiences in your life. 

I would add the caveat that Leo is right though that if you're trying to do serious work you need to add ruthless boundaries. I even hesitate to add ruthless because they're not even that ruthless but my guy @integral if you cannot negotiate an agreement with your girl where she leaves you completely alone for blocks of 1-2 hours with 0 distractions then you're in a co-dependent relationship. 

You should be able to have this conversation without "offending her." She can distract herself for two hours I promise you. Although it is also on you to make that situation easy and reasonable. You said you both work in the same room, is there no other room/office in your place? Or a library/workplace you can work from? 

[integral]

On 1/14/2023 at 10:34 AM, Thought Art said:

@integral Why not go to a library to do your work during the day? Pay for access to a commune office space... Get out of the house.

Well i need my custom computer set up to survive, 3 monitors, ergodox...

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

100% disagreed with this. As a man especially if you're sensitive to feminine energy and love women then living with your woman will be one of the funnest and most satisfying experiences in your life. 

I would add the caveat that Leo is right though that if you're trying to do serious work you need to add ruthless boundaries. I even hesitate to add ruthless because they're not even that ruthless but my guy @integral if you cannot negotiate an agreement with your girl where she leaves you completely alone for blocks of 1-2 hours with 0 distractions then you're in a co-dependent relationship. 

You should be able to have this conversation without "offending her." She can distract herself for two hours I promise you. Although it is also on you to make that situation easy and reasonable. You said you both work in the same room, is there no other room/office in your place? Or a library/workplace you can work from? 

No other room unfortunately.

Update: So she only needed a few days to process this, at first she had a mood swing and threatened to move out but then came back to reality when she calmed down and realized her life improved drastically right after meeting me and her life is better with me. I don't feel distracted the last few days, we got things under control.

Edited January 15, 2023 by integral

[Leo Gura]

Buy a cage and lock her inside at sunrise, unlock at sunset 

Sorry, I'm a monster

Edited January 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Thought Art]

@integral What kind of work do you do?

[MarkKol]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Buy a cage and lock her inside at sunrise, unlock at sunset 

She might have a fetish as a bonus you never know.

Isn’t there a higher chance of losing her if you don’t live together?

I like unconventional approaches like this.

[integral]

12 hours ago, Thought Art said:

@integral What kind of work do you do?

Software and hardware developer

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Buy a cage and lock her inside at sunrise, unlock at sunset 

Sorry, I'm a monster

lOOOOOOl we joke that the problem is i don't put a leash on her and take her out for walk everyday. ?

[David der Adler]

@integral Establish boundaries. If she does not respect your boundaries. Tell her that in a nice way. If she still doesn't respect your boundaries. Kick her out.

[LastThursday]

38 minutes ago, integral said:

lOOOOOOl we joke that the problem is i don't put a leash on her and take her out for walk everyday. ?

You should take it in turns each day. Kinky.

[LordFall]

2 hours ago, integral said:

lOOOOOOl we joke that the problem is i don't put a leash on her and take her out for walk everyday. ?

If she is a very feminine and submissive woman then she probably is high in anxiety and neuroticism so if you had some BDSM elements in your relationship would probably chill her out a lot. Like rough sex with aftercare or just giving her tasks to do while you're working. 

Edited January 16, 2023 by LordFall

[Lyubov]

more sex definitely does for some weird reason make my girlfriend less bitchy and annoying as well, she will get angry sometimes if I don’t fuck her for a few days and she definitely won’t ask for it either. She wants to feel wanted and desired and for me to make all the moves. 

[Hibahere]

@Leo Gura you are a hopeless romantic omg

[mac99]

I personally wouldn't go as far as to dump her. If your doing computer work, I would tell her you gotta go do some work outside of the home, maybe you gotta go to the workplace to check up on some stuff. Then when you are out just go to a coffee shop and do some work there on your laptop. Make this an everyday routine and I'm sure she'll get used to it. 

Edited January 28, 2023 by mac99