Girlfriend gets in the way of getting work done

[integral]

So my girlfriend recently moved in with me its been 2 months now and i cant seem to find time to get anything done between 9am and 5 pm. Its like that entire period of time is filled with constant distraction and requests by her. Ive done my best to limit things with a schedule but its like from the moment i wake up there is "something to do" that needs my attention over and over again. The kind of work im doing requires 0 distraction, i cant multitask while thinking deeply. Like right now while typing this im being requested to go do something in the laundry room. Like... in reality there is nothing to be done... i handle maintenance perfectly on my own with out anyone's intervention to coordinate about it. We are both living in the same space and its non-stop distraction and "this thing over here has to be done now". 

So what do I do here? ?

[Devin]

2 minutes ago, integral said:

So my girlfriend recently moved in with me its been 2 months now and i cant seem to find time to get anything done between 9am and 5 pm. Its like that entire period of time is filled with constant distraction and requests by her. Ive done my best to limit things with a schedule but its like from the moment i wake up there is "something to do" that needs my attention over and over again. The kind of work im doing requires 0 distraction, i cant multitask while thinking deeply. Like right now while typing this im being requested to go do something in the laundry room. Like... in reality there is nothing to be done... i handle maintenance perfectly on my own with out anyone's intervention to coordinate about it. We are both living in the same space and its non-stop distraction and "this thing over here has to be done now". 

So what do I do here? ?

Tell her.

[Tyler Robinson]

Tell her sweetly that you'll do it later. 

Ask her for more me time. 

Honestly though I don't like such relationships. They evaporate after the honeymoon phase. 

[integral]

@Devin @Tyler Robinson I did tell her, i even have a schedule displayed on the home TV explaining/separating when during the day its time to work and when its time to do maintenance tasks, gym or together activities.

But some how its constant destraction, its hard to explain until you experience it, the distraction can be random questions. 

Edited January 11, 2023 by integral

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, integral said:

@Devin @Tyler Robinson I did tell her, i even have a schedule displayed on the home TV explaining/separating when during the day its time to work and when its time to do maintenance tasks, gym or together activities. 

I'm a bit biased here so I won't be able to help you much. 

My animal instincts taking over. Sorry. I hope everything works well for you. 

 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

She's telling you what to do what?!?

[Devin]

35 minutes ago, integral said:

@Devin @Tyler Robinson I did tell her, i even have a schedule displayed on the home TV explaining/separating when during the day its time to work and when its time to do maintenance tasks, gym or together activities.

But some how its constant destraction, its hard to explain until you experience it, the distraction can be random questions. 

You told her what you're telling us?

"Honey, I've been getting distracted during work hours with your requests, I lose my train of thought and can't focus, I need you to respect my work hours."

[integral]

15 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

She's telling you what to do what?!?

Maintenance tasks around the house, random questions or talking points or trouble shooting life, she is confused and needs attention and hugs, she is stressed about something and wants to talk, drink this or try this or ...

It sounds like nothing but this is every 10-20 minutes as well as i wake up in the morning and something was planned for the day that takes up 4 hours like driving around.

Edited January 11, 2023 by integral

[Devin]

Read men are from mars women are from venus if you haven't already, she's likely just excited and requires communication, if you discuss this problem with her she will likely be happy to help/leave you alone.

[John Paul]

If she seriously can’t/won’t stop distracting you from your work after communication that would kind of be a boundary for me 

[Consept]

What does she do all day, does she work? Do you have to work from home, could you not work out of a coffee shop or something?

Generally it sounds like she needs some of her own stuff to focus on as all the focus seems to be on you which is probably not healthy from one side to another. Communication is always the way forward though 

[integral]

37 minutes ago, Consept said:

What does she do all day, does she work? Do you have to work from home, could you not work out of a coffee shop or something?

Generally it sounds like she needs some of her own stuff to focus on as all the focus seems to be on you which is probably not healthy from one side to another. Communication is always the way forward though 

She works part time at home but yes she needs things to do.

1 hour ago, TheGreekSeeker said:

Secondly, can't you come up with a steady division of labour, so as to know which tasks are your responsibility to fulfill and which hers?

Well she is not good at doing things on her own as in well its "hard work" to do basic things. While for me its just instantly done with no effort, so i told her that ill do all tasks at the appropriate time of the day after work.

---

But i just explained to her that i need more focusing during work time and she said she will adapt. 

Edited January 12, 2023 by integral

[Leo Gura]

Tell her to move out.

Don't allow distractions like that. Your space is divine and should not be given up for any girl.

Living together is only gonna make you two hate each other soon.

If you love a girl, the best way to ruin it is to see her too often. And everyday is the worst.

Edited January 12, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Intraplanetary]

29 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Tell her to move out.

Don't allow distractions like that. Your space is divine and should not be given up for any girl.

Living together is only gonna make you two hate each other soon.

If you love a girl, the best way to ruin it is to see her too often. And everyday is the worst.

omg, you're hopeless  i wish one day you'll fall in love deeply; you will want that woman by your side every day and night. 

 @integral you shouldn't come complain here and ask strangers advice about how your girlfriend is distracting you without even having a conversation with her. Communicate with her and see if things will improve. Leave this forum as your last resource.

Edited January 12, 2023 by Intraplanetary

[Devin]

2 minutes ago, Intraplanetary said:

omg, you're hopeless  i wish one day you'll fall in love deeply; you will want that woman by your side every day and night. 

 @integral you shouldn't come complain here and ask strangers advice about how your girlfriend is distracting you without even having a conversation with her. Communicate with her and see if things will improve. Leave this forum as your last resource.

Read men are from mars women are from venus, you don't understand men for either of your comments.

 

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, Intraplanetary said:

you will want that woman by your side every day and night.

Hell no.

All that will do is create burn out and ruin your life.

Edited January 12, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Intraplanetary]

Just now, Devin said:

Read men are from mars women are from venus, you don't understand men for either of your comments.

 

nah, that book is about creating boundaries between man and woman. we are more similar than we are different. that's for sure.

[Roy]

"Man discovers what it's like to have a woman in his life, more at 11." 

But seriously dude did you not know what she was gonna be like before you moved in together? How long have you been in a relationship? You should have a pretty good idea of their habits and lifestyle from all the weekends you spent over at each others place before moving in.

[Intraplanetary]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Hell no.

All that will do is create burn out and ruin your life.

never say never.

[Devin]

17 minutes ago, Intraplanetary said:

nah, that book is about creating boundaries between man and woman. we are more similar than we are different. that's for sure.

No it's not. Sincerely recommend it.