Insecurity, anxiety and history of short relationships

[lfvd95]

I´ve struggled with relationships ever since I was a teen. I´m 27 and my longest resltionship to this day lasted 10 months - that was when I was 23. I don´t have too much of a problem attracting women, I´ve practiced my pick up skillsa lot over the years, focusing on Corey Wayne´s 3% man, which has always been reliable. The problem is that, on the one hand, I always seem to attract very prblematic women, or I end up with people I´m not to compatible with. The bigger problem, however, is that I suffer from relationship anxiety and get very insecure whenever I get into a new relationship i.e., I get extremeley anxious to the point where I´m bareley functional and am in constant emotional distress because an irrational fear of being suddenly abandoned or doing something wrong - which will result in being broken up with - takes over me, and makes me become needy and insecure, which is not at all who I am normally. My ex, who is 20, broke up with me 3 weeks ago after a 3 month relationships. I honestly don´t know what happened.  But most of my relationships last around 2-3 months and I´m tired of this happening to me, I´m afraid to end up alone and not being able to have and enjoy a healthy, long term romantic realtionship with a woman.
I´m reading Adam Lane Smith´s " Slay your fear" and plan working on my attatchment style with my therapist.
Yet, I would really appriciate any advice, pointers or insight from anyone who´s been in a similar situation, who  managed to evercome it.
Thanks!

[NoSelfSelf]

 

[AJBrew]

Hey I really appreciate this info you provided as I have been struggling with the same exact issues in my close relationships with woman.

Trying to maintain the confident masculine frame around them all the time is exhausting, and when it slips it sends them signals.

I honestly think your on an excellent path with the book and therapy seasons you just mentioned. I downloaded the book as well as it looks very promising.

So far from what I have been practicing is a meditation of letting go and by that I mean letting go of little things and eventually letting go of bigger things i.e. connections, self, ect. I feel that letting go of something you care about or love is an extremely important practice for everyone to implement.

Maybe also ponder the spiritual fact that no one ever truly leaves you, and especially the ones you truly care for. My father passed away from head and neck cancer two years ago and I always feel that he is there within my experience. 

Edited January 11, 2023 by AJBrew