Need relationship/sexual advice FAST - regaining sexual trust

[Value]

Long story short:
Me and my GF have been together since mid 2021. In the beginning our sexual life and connection was good, but around Dec 2021 I realized an issue which I posted about on the forum. I can't make her cum, while with my earlier GF's I have always got them off well and had more sexual flow between us. I got the advice from @Leo Gura that this might be a 'her'-issue but to try and to lead her into relaxing deeply with me, and to try the Magic Wand (a sex toy) while if that doesn't work to consider leaving her. Since then I figured out that she most probably has 'Anorgasmia'. 

These issues went on and led to confusion and frustration for me, I felt there was no way to really make her 'let go' fully with me sexually. She didn't experience this as an issue but I did. After a while I got frustrated so I kinda stopped wanting to have sex with her, more easily lost my lust and sometimes even had arguments about or sexual habits. She felt judged many times and lost sexual trust for me. At this point she says that the thought of being intimate with me instantly puts her body into stress/anxiety and she really doesn't know if we can fix this anymore, we are close to breaking up. She is still attracted to me she says, we still love each other a lot but the thought of sex isn't fun anymore. I still believe we can fix this, because in the beginning we had a great sexual connection and we both loved it. We had good sex like 1-2 months ago so I know we can have it, so maybe we can get into a positive groove again and become playful about it, and rebuild the trust?

How could we go about building up the sexual trust between us and make it playful again? Is it possible?

BTW This is the old topic from Dec 2021

 

Edited January 10, 2023 by Value

[integral]

Daily loving hugs, telling her how much you love her, joking around during hugs or during the day, appreciate the things she does. Focus on how she feels the experience your giving her, getting her excited and intimate during the day before sex. 

My current gf is 38 never had an orgasm before me. Now she has multiple and predictably when ever I decide to "do the thing" that triggers it for her. The process of making this happen was to help her self-discover, encourage her to masturbate and to teach her lovingly what to focus on during intimacy, having lots of conversations about intimacy. Making her have orgasm happens on its own by just having sex until she is comfortable having sex. Its not something you can force or "DO" directly. Socialize after sex in a positive way about her experience and what she liked and didnt like and explore new things every time. New ways to use your mouth, different angles with the penis, better eye contact or body language, positions. Eventually she will become more comfortable and you will learn her body and figure out here "spots" or the way she enjoys it best. Then comfort, trust and orgasm will happen for her on its own, its a building process of her learning gradually over time.

Make the intimacy funny as well, make jokes, tickle have fun, its ok to make her burst out laughing, that's how you build comfort, sex and intimacy is not serious! 

Edited January 10, 2023 by integral

[Value]

@integral This is gold, thank you.

[Thought Art]

Why are you two staying together?

[Value]

@Thought Art Because we feel like soulmates. We love each other, understand each other and we felt like the love of each others' lives until this thing became our reality.