Intense pain and suffering after being separated from God

[Michael Jackson]

I don't know why I share this. There is just this feeling of inspiration, so I'm gonna do it.

More than 1 year ago I discovered psychedelics. At this point I have had around 20 trips on LSD.

The substance itself turned out to be an illusion, an imagination created by my own infinite mind and what revealed itself was the truth of God.

 

The goodness, purity and love of God is out of this world. No experience in the human life comes even close to the unimaginable peace and love that exists at the root of everything.

For the first time ever you truly feel complete, totally whole, you are pure love, perfection and beyond.

 

Human existence in contrast to that perfection seems like excrutiating pain and suffering. Looking at the human world through the eyes of God, which are your own eyes, you realize that being a human is torture. Still you go back, hell knows why.

 

Being back in my human body I have distant memories of that glory. All I can think of and all that seems to be worth striving towards in life is this peace and this love. And yet it is totally clear to me, that this peace and this love is completely forgotten by basically all of humanity and never will be found in this human life.

 

Life is still lived. Life is still bearable. But seing the contrast between the absolute brutality of pure Love and Goodness and this stupid grey human existence makes everything in my human life seem meaningless and pointless.

 

I know that this post has been created from an inaccurate perspective. I know that it is coloured in improper colors, because I am looking at the world not from the highest point, but from an identified and deluded position. I know God loves every tiny bit of being human and I know that it is 100% the will of God to live this life, but still I feel this pain and I wanted to share it.

 

If I had 1 wish, it would be to be forever taken back into the arm of my Beloved and never to exist as a human being ever again.

I know my words are childish.

Hope you are all doing well.

[BlessedLion]

Thanks for your authenticity and honesty in this sharing. Resonates 

[Thought Art]

Begin a yoga and/ Qigong practice. 
 

Ive been having such deep states of bliss doing my Qigong and acupressure…

I have a good friend who also practices rather intensely. He daily’s he feels like he gets divine downloads after practicing. 

Edited January 9, 2023 by Thought Art

[Michael Jackson]

6 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I have a good friend who also practices rather intensely. He daily’s he feels like he gets divine downloads after practicing. 

@Thought Art I do not care about divine downloads.

The true deal is pure Divinity. That's the only thing worth looking for.

[PeaceOut96]

25 minutes ago, Michael Jackson said:

I don't know why I share this. There is just this feeling of inspiration, so I'm gonna do it.

More than 1 year ago I discovered psychedelics. At this point I have had around 20 trips on LSD.

The substance itself turned out to be an illusion, an imagination created by my own infinite mind and what revealed itself was the truth of God.

 

The goodness, purity and love of God is out of this world. No experience in the human life comes even close to the unimaginable peace and love that exists at the root of everything.

For the first time ever you truly feel complete, totally whole, you are pure love, perfection and beyond.

 

Human existence in contrast to that perfection seems like excrutiating pain and suffering. Looking at the human world through the eyes of God, which are your own eyes, you realize that being a human is torture. Still you go back, hell knows why.

 

Being back in my human body I have distant memories of that glory. All I can think of and all that seems to be worth striving towards in life is this peace and this love. And yet it is totally clear to me, that this peace and this love is completely forgotten by basically all of humanity and never will be found in this human life.

 

Life is still lived. Life is still bearable. But seing the contrast between the absolute brutality of pure Love and Goodness and this stupid grey human existence makes everything in my human life seem meaningless and pointless.

 

I know that this post has been created from an inaccurate perspective. I know that it is coloured in improper colors, because I am looking at the world not from the highest point, but from an identified and deluded position. I know God loves every tiny bit of being human and I know that it is 100% the will of God to live this life, but still I feel this pain and I wanted to share it.

 

If I had 1 wish, it would be to be forever taken back into the arm of my Beloved and never to exist as a human being ever again.

I know my words are childish.

Hope you are all doing well.

There is nothing to do other than reach as high level as possible while being a human. Remember any kind of dissatification and suffering is always comming from the ego and from the feeling of lack. Life is about finding your way back to Love. So if you see it from the highest level, it is not so bad. 

[Breakingthewall]

I think what you are looking for is possible. but extremely difficult. you have to polish yourself throughout your life until you turn the mud of human nature into a transparent glass from which the light of god filters. each action must be aimed at it, and there is no well-trodden or defined path, only intuition works. once you have seen the light of pure existence, everything else is stupid. It doesn't matter to never have sex again, to be poor, to lose your health. Only the light of God is something, the rest is nothing. I would say that the paths are defined as we walk them, but it is difficult to have the courage to walk them to the end. but not doing it is stupid.

[Leo Gura]

41 minutes ago, Michael Jackson said:

Life is still lived. Life is still bearable. But seing the contrast between the absolute brutality of pure Love and Goodness and this stupid grey human existence makes everything in my human life seem meaningless and pointless.

Good! Now your goal is to actualize that beautiful God-consciousness in real life through spiritual practice. So get to work!

Edited January 9, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Thought Art]

56 minutes ago, Michael Jackson said:

@Thought Art I do not care about divine downloads.

The true deal is pure Divinity. That's the only thing worth looking for.

This moment is pure divinity. It’s up to you. When you are sober, Qigong is a great option. 
 

If all you want is a pure high, then.. Well. That’s too bad. 
Qigong can raise the baseline state but it takes work. 

Edited January 9, 2023 by Thought Art

[Michael Jackson]

Just now, Thought Art said:

This moment is pure divinity. It’s up to you. When you are sober, Qigong is a great option. 

Did you realize your divine nature while doing Qigong?

[Sincerity]

Damn, what a beautiful post. You could make some poem out of this.

Thank You! Truly.

[Michael Jackson]

5 minutes ago, Sincerity said:

Damn, what a beautiful post. You could make some poem out of this.

Thank You! Truly.

@Sincerity thanks a lot for your sincere thanks:)

[Thought Art]

@Michael Jackson Ahah, when I do Qigong I am Divine peace for eternity 

It’s not as easy as taking a drug. 
 

But, you will be sober most of your life. It would be a shame to spend all the time wanting to be high…

Edited January 10, 2023 by Thought Art

[Moksha]

I hear you. Life can be hell even before awakening, but that is nothing compared to feeling flooded with the love and glory of God, only to be cast out of the holy presence like Lucifer. Especially when you didn't do anything wrong!?!

After falling what seems like forever through the void, God catches you again, and this time there is an even deeper awe. The resonance with your ultimate nature is at a higher frequency. You realize that the psyche has become thinner than it was before, from the grinding darkness of the void, and the light of God shines through more brightly still. The banishment turns out to be an act of divine love, and what you needed all along.

If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend "Dark Night of the Soul", especially the translation and commentary by Mirabai Starr:

This is a path of annihilation of the ego. But we must first be brought home to ourselves before we can bear to see our nothingness before God…It is less for those who are struggling to find themselves than it is for the ones who have a clear sense of self and are ready to purify it…

This is a path for those who use their suffering as a tool for transformation. In the dark night of each soul, we are simultaneously annihilated and immeasurably strengthened.

[Salvijus]

@Michael Jackson are you sure u don't know the way out? It's seems pretty obvious to me. 

There're methods of cultivation different then meditation that can take one into God's love's Presence Glory and Light. These methods are little known about and need to be transfered properly for it to work. Idk why but u seem like a perfect candidate for that. I could share more about it in pm.

Edited January 11, 2023 by Salvijus

[Michael Jackson]

On 11.1.2023 at 2:31 PM, Salvijus said:

@Michael Jackson are you sure u don't know the way out? It's seems pretty obvious to me. 

There're methods of cultivation different then meditation that can take one into God's love's Presence Glory and Light. These methods are little known about and need to be transfered properly for it to work. Idk why but u seem like a perfect candidate for that. I could share more about it in pm.

@Salvijus maybe you should share it with everybody.

[michaelcycle00]

In your experience, did that love, perfection, divinity, goodness, etc of God seem to get boring? Since time doesn't exist there, I don't see how that's possible but perhaps it is. Can your wish actually be possible? Like, could God stay as its Absolute self for eternity (like fully forever) and never ever create any other finite thing or relative existence? I'm guessing that's impossible and why this place exists in the first place, which from my human POV I find quite saddening.

[Moksha]

7 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Like, could God stay as its Absolute self for eternity (like fully forever) and never ever create any other finite thing or relative existence? I'm guessing that's impossible and why this place exists in the first place, which from my human POV I find quite saddening.

The beautiful aspect of dualities is they create a sense of movement, progression, and experience. They may only be imagination, but even for God they serve a purpose. Imagine being formless, changeless, and timeless. God is not bored, but neither is it excited. It is light and love, but without creation, how is this light and love manifested? It is all God, dreaming the cosmos into existence and collapsing it into nothingness, in an infinite divine cycle.

Science supports the expansion and contraction of the cosmos, but mystics realized it millennia ago. Take the numbers below as symbolic, and realize the deeper meaning of the insight:

The Day of Brahma ends after a thousand yugas and the Night of Brahma ends after a thousand yugas. When the day of Brahma dawns, forms are brought forth from the Unmanifest; when the night of Brahma comes, these forms merge in the Formless again. This multitude of beings is created and destroyed again and again in the succeeding days and nights of Brahma. But beyond this formless state there is another, unmanifested reality, which is eternal and is not dissolved when the cosmos is destroyed.

- Bhagavad Gita 8:17-20

[Michael Jackson]

22 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

In your experience, did that love, perfection, divinity, goodness, etc of God seem to get boring?

@michaelcycle00 neigher boring nor exciting. Just love, peace, completeness.

23 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Like, could God stay as its Absolute self for eternity (like fully forever) and never ever create any other finite thing or relative existence?

God IS the Absolute Self, always, right now. I am not sure about the finite things question though.