How do you become more selfless?

[Something Funny]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

It's funny you mention this because all this guilt and shame you feel is selfishness/ego at work.

True senselessness has a different quality to it. You do things out of love, not guilt.

You are right, for me it's probably a mix of both guilt and love right now.

 

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Keep in mind that many of these homeless folk are drug addicts and will just piss your money away. So giving them endless money is not necessarily gonna help them much. The reality is that giving a person money who didn't earn it doesn't change anything fundamental about their life. If you give $10k to a homeless person he will likely just burn through it and end up right back on the street. Homelessness is not a problem of lack of money, it's a much deeper problem of people having such poor minds that they are not able to control themselves.

This is a bit off topic but this idea have been bugging me for a while now. It's probably different in the US, but in Poland costs of living are not that big. So you technically could invest a few thousand dollars and possibly change someone's life completely. Rent them a room. Help them to get their shit together. Maybe hire a therapist. Help them to find a basic minimum wage job. And possibly, you will totally transform their life over a course of a few months.

How many of them would waste such an opportunity away?

Sure you would have to screen out some extreme cases like drug addicts and criminals. But in general it sounds pretty doable. You could even turn this into a full fledged charity and then it would be even cheaper with economies of scale.

Also, I've checked and there are only about 900-1000 homeless people in my city of about 700000, which is actually not that many. Literally, one millionaire could finance the whole thing and you would have a whole city without homelessness. Isn't that crazy?

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

No, I meant that you should be worried that by not meditating and doing serious inner work but instead focusing on selfless action, you will actually never become selfless. That is the true danger.

You can give all your money away to the homeless, but after all that's done, you will still fundamentally be as selfish as you ever were. If only selfishness could be cured so easily! It's much deeper than that!

I see, thank you.

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Something Funny said:

So you technically could invest a few thousand dollars and possibly change someone's life completely. Rent them a room. Help them to get their shit together. Maybe hire a therapist. Help them to find a basic minimum wage job

No you can't.

This assumes that people want to change and develop. Most people do not. Especially homeless people. They are either hardcore addicts or have serious mental illness. Even if you buy them a house they will trash it or do something stupid like gamble it away.

You don't become homeless by accident. It happens through serious dysfunction in the mind. It's not really about the money. Any decent person can work a basic job and afford rent. Homeless people are incapable of that because they are so mentally screwed up. You are not going to fix these people nor is that your responsibility in life. If someone chooses to live a miserable life, you have to be mature enough to let them. There are many miserable humans on this planet by their own choice. At least in developed countries. There is no excuse to be homeless in a Western democracy unless you got serious mental or health issues. A lot of people are homeless because they make really bad life choices.

Edited January 9, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

In my experience it's when you give up the sense of doer totally and surrender your egostic action to life's intelligence. Every  method always hides the ego in the background waiting for the outcome ----> momentary happiness, pleasure. 

[Greatnestwithin]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No you can't.

This assumes that people want to change and develop. Most people do not. Especially homeless people. They are either hardcore addicts or have serious mental illness. Even if you buy them a house they will trash it or do something stupid like gamble it away.

You don't become homeless by accident. It happens through serious dysfunction in the mind. It's not really about the money. Any decent person can work a basic job and afford rent. Homeless people are incapable of that because they are so mentally screwed up. You are not going to fix these people nor is that your responsibility in life. If someone chooses to live a miserable life, you have to be mature enough to let them. There are many miserable humans on this planet by their own choice. At least in developed countries. There is no excuse to be homeless in a Western democracy unless you got serious mental or health issues. A lot of people are homeless because they make really bad life choices.

Most of these people don't have capacity enough to make different choices even if they wanted it. To some degree they are in those conditions precisely because of their mental health issues not because of a lack of wanting or choice.

[Leo Gura]

34 minutes ago, Greatnestwithin said:

Most of these people don't have capacity enough to make different choices even if they wanted it. To some degree they are in those conditions precisely because of their mental health issues not because of a lack of wanting or choice.

That's right, which means you will not change them.

Technically they could choose to change (unless their health is simply broken beyond repair) but that is so unlikely it's as if they can't.

You can't even get your parents to change. Nevermind homeless people.

Edited January 9, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura @Greatnestwithin it's crazy how our minds can basically ruin our life instead of helping it.

And what's even scarier is that you won't even be aware that something is wrong with you and will try to find solutions elsewhere / blame someone else, unless you are already relatively conscious.

[Greatnestwithin]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That's right, which means you will not change them.

Technically they could choose to change (unless their health is simply broken beyond repair) but that is so unlikely it's as if they can't.

You can't even get your parents to change. Nevermind homeless people.

@Leo Gura have you ever got to distinguish, Why for certain people their curiosity stops. I guess is a matter of degrees.

For example, towards enlightenment, that they are even interested. Because curiosity is god's bread crumbs to lead you there. 

But even many people don't even have the curiosity ,willingness to look for answers for their problems/ challenges.

Edited January 9, 2023 by Greatnestwithin

[roopepa]

I'd say that there isn't a self which does thing out of guilt or love. Rather, guilt translated as belief would be that there is a self which does things, makes choices, and could become something else or change.

Guilt, self, doership and becomingship are all synonymous.

[Leo Gura]

23 minutes ago, Greatnestwithin said:

@Leo Gura have you ever got to distinguish, Why for certain people their curiosity stops. I guess is a matter of degrees.

For example, towards enlightenment, that they are even interested. Because curiosity is god's bread crumbs to lead you there. 

But even many people don't even have the curiosity ,willingness to look for answers for their problems/ challenges.

Yeah, that's a mystery. Most people are rats chasing after some obvious chunks of cheese and that's all life is for them. Most humans just live like animals. An animal has no curiosity beyond daily survival.

Edited January 9, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Greatnestwithin]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Yeah, that's a mystery. Most people are rats chasing after some obvious chunks of cheese and that's all life is for them. Most humans just live like animals. An animal has no curiosity beyond daily survival.

@Leo Gura would this fit into God's design and infinity. Meaning, this too has to exist 

[Breakingthewall]

37 minutes ago, Greatnestwithin said:

But even many people don't even have the curiosity ,willingness to look for answers for their problems/ challenges.

Most of people can never get out of their ego, of the social matrix that programs them as robots. for them only that is real and they spend their lives spinning like a vortex over the same desires, affronts, shame, ruminations. there are many degrees of this. Some of them only seek to escape with addictions, others look outside for what they think they lack, others look inside, but through the word

In the end, it's all a wounded ego suffering from a lack of love, but very few are able to step back and see it. even people who meditate, who read spiritual books and go to the psychologist, exchange some ruminations for others. It is difficult to get out of there because it is the known, we are beings attached to the history of the mind

[Leo Gura]

10 minutes ago, Greatnestwithin said:

@Leo Gura would this fit into God's design and infinity. Meaning, this too has to exist 

Animals certainly exist.

[Eternal Unity]

14 hours ago, Something Funny said:

I've just watched the movie "Green Mile" for the first time

Great movie! Indeed, inspiring.

14 hours ago, Something Funny said:

So my question is, how do you become more selfless.

Yep, been said before, through selfless actions. I'd add - being selfless is being a servant of truth. You'll only benefit.

14 hours ago, Something Funny said:

I want to earn more money, I want to have more freedom, independence, ability to build the kind of life I want to build.

Nothing wrong with that. Building the life that you want is the essence of life purpose. Distinguish that from selfishness. It's not the same.

14 hours ago, Something Funny said:

But is this the best way for me to serve in this world? Am I just being lazy and cowardly and am taking a lame, uncreative, passive path forward in life?

The best way to serve the world is to embody life purpose. Limiting beliefs, as mentioned, disway you from doing so.

14 hours ago, Something Funny said:

Sure I could say that I am in the phase of developing myself, and need to focus on that first, and I can be selfless and contribute to the world afterwards. 

A very sensible thing to say. You're contributing to the world NOW! By living. Think of all the simple ways you assist those around you. If you contemplate deeply on this, you'll realize that your contribution is unending.

14 hours ago, Something Funny said:

You could also say that I can just go and become a volunteer somewhere. But once again, is this the best way for me to serve the world? Doing some manual grunt work?

Good idea. Doing such work earns you respect. If it's not appealing to you, go volunteer in the field you do like.

[Shane Hanlon]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Keep in mind that many of these homeless folk are drug addicts and will just piss your money away. So giving them endless money is not necessarily gonna help them much. The reality is that giving a person money who didn't earn it doesn't change anything fundamental about their life. If you give $10k to a homeless person he will likely just burn through it and end up right back on the street. Homelessness is not a problem of lack of money, it's a much deeper problem of people having such poor minds that they are not able to control themselves.

This is true.

Also, I don't think giving money to the homeless is solely about solving poverty. giving money to the homeless can help them feel seen, loved, and cared for in a world where they are seldom valued. Which is also a worthy thing to do.

[Something Funny]

4 hours ago, Eternal Unity said:

Nothing wrong with that. Building the life that you want is the essence of life purpose. Distinguish that from selfishness. It's not the same.

 

4 hours ago, Eternal Unity said:

A very sensible thing to say. You're contributing to the world NOW! By living. Think of all the simple ways you assist those around you. If you contemplate deeply on this, you'll realize that your contribution is unending.

Thank you.

 

24 minutes ago, Shane Hanlon said:

Also, I don't think giving money to the homeless is solely about solving poverty. giving money to the homeless can help them feel seen, loved, and cared for in a world where they are seldom valued. Which is also a worthy thing to do.

I think this is a really good point which I haven't considered at all.

[gettoefl]

selflessness is not to do with actions

but your gestures your fragrance your grace your aura your smile

nothing needs changing

only speak if spoken to

else leave all perfectly as is

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, Shane Hanlon said:

This is true.

Also, I don't think giving money to the homeless is solely about solving poverty. giving money to the homeless can help them feel seen, loved, and cared for in a world where they are seldom valued. Which is also a worthy thing to do.

Which is why I try to give them some money. But I always walk away knowing it didn't solve a damn thing for them.

Edited January 9, 2023 by Leo Gura

[UnbornTao]

You can't transcend what you're not conscious of in the first place.

First, I imagine, you'd have to become directly conscious of the nature of being a self. Then we can begin to tackle becoming free of it.

Or have a couple of enlightenment experiences right away.