LSD Psychotherapy

[Vlad_]

I've been doing psychedelics for the last couple of years, mostly shrooms, dmt and recently 5meo.  Although I had a few absolute awakenings I felt like I couldn't integrate them in my daily life. There was something in my ego that I didn't want to look at, something that I've been avoiding for a long long time.  Not only that, I’ve been avoiding one specific psychedelic – LSD. I’d done it two times only, first time with zero effect on me and the second, where I had a “party like” trip. Eventually I gave up on LSD.

Yesterday I was watching Leo’s video “How survival shapes who you are” and I got triggered by it. Some of the past situations appeared in my consciousness, leaving me with tears. I knew I had to come back there, to re-live my traumas. For this very reason I consumed two tabs of LSD (155mg each) and here what happened:

I entered my subconsciousness and I was literally shattered by the pain and suffering I had found. As a kid I had to please my mom in order to get her love and attention. I tried my best not to upset her, because I wanted her to love and appreciate me.  She was working a lot because my dad had left us when I was two years old. I always lack her attention and love. Sometimes I used to stay in kindergarten for a night or at one of her friends.

We lived in a small Ukrainian apartment with only one bedroom, so sometimes when she was with a man (“boyfriend’) I saw them having sex. I was very angry at that time because I saw my mom giving her love and attention (I was too young for the notion of what sex is) to others, but I was left abandoned (at least that’s how I felt about it).

All of it led to some dysfunctional patterns of my behaviour in my “romantic” relationships. I overestimated and pleased women. I was looking at women trough my inner child’s lenses seeking their love and attention. Most of the staff I used to do were designed in order to get approval and love from others, especially women. Unfortunately, because of my neediness and toxicity I was attracting the same toxic partners. All relationships that I had with women were toxic in the way. I believed that in order to be loved I needed to behave in a specific way, to be someone girls wanted me to be. Of course, all of my toxic relationships collapsed and left me with more pain.

During the trip I was re-living a lot of my personal baggage, crying my ass off. I realized that it’s impossible to work with this type of traumas on a conscious level.  It doesn’t matter what your conscious mind is saying when the subconscious is at the wheel. Affirmations, psychologists, friends, meditation is not going to help with it. LSD seemed to be the one instrument that helped me to uncover all of my shit.

Now I finally beginning to feel like my adult and healthy self, but I’m gonna be fighting my demons further with a sword named LSD.

P.S. My professional knowledge helped me a lot during the trip, so if you also want to go trough some traumas of yours, please educate yourself about basics of how psyche works (especially subconsciousness) and do it with a sitter or a psychotherapist (if possible).

Love You All 

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, Vlad_ said:

I've been doing psychedelics for the last couple of years, mostly shrooms, dmt and recently 5meo.  Although I had a few absolute awakenings I felt like I couldn't integrate them in my daily life. There was something in my ego that I didn't want to look at, something that I've been avoiding for a long long time.  Not only that, I’ve been avoiding one specific psychedelic – LSD. I’d done it two times only, first time with zero effect on me and the second, where I had a “party like” trip. Eventually I gave up on LSD.

Yesterday I was watching Leo’s video “How survival shapes who you are” and I got triggered by it. Some of the past situations appeared in my consciousness, leaving me with tears. I knew I had to come back there, to re-live my traumas. For this very reason I consumed two tabs of LSD (155mg each) and here what happened:

I entered my subconsciousness and I was literally shattered by the pain and suffering I had found. As a kid I had to please my mom in order to get her love and attention. I tried my best not to upset her, because I wanted her to love and appreciate me.  She was working a lot because my dad had left us when I was two years old. I always lack her attention and love. Sometimes I used to stay in kindergarten for a night or at one of her friends.

We lived in a small Ukrainian apartment with only one bedroom, so sometimes when she was with a man (“boyfriend’) I saw them having sex. I was very angry at that time because I saw my mom giving her love and attention (I was too young for the notion of what sex is) to others, but I was left abandoned (at least that’s how I felt about it).

All of it led to some dysfunctional patterns of my behaviour in my “romantic” relationships. I overestimated and pleased women. I was looking at women trough my inner child’s lenses seeking their love and attention. Most of the staff I used to do were designed in order to get approval and love from others, especially women. Unfortunately, because of my neediness and toxicity I was attracting the same toxic partners. All relationships that I had with women were toxic in the way. I believed that in order to be loved I needed to behave in a specific way, to be someone girls wanted me to be. Of course, all of my toxic relationships collapsed and left me with more pain.

During the trip I was re-living a lot of my personal baggage, crying my ass off. I realized that it’s impossible to work with this type of traumas on a conscious level.  It doesn’t matter what your conscious mind is saying when the subconscious is at the wheel. Affirmations, psychologists, friends, meditation is not going to help with it. LSD seemed to be the one instrument that helped me to uncover all of my shit.

Now I finally beginning to feel like my adult and healthy self, but I’m gonna be fighting my demons further with a sword named LSD.

P.S. My professional knowledge helped me a lot during the trip, so if you also want to go trough some traumas of yours, please educate yourself about basics of how psyche works (especially subconsciousness) and do it with a sitter or a psychotherapist (if possible).

Love You All 

Nice trip report. Couple of things. 

You said you are God right? This part "I realized that it’s impossible to work with this type of traumas on a conscious level."

That part is a limiting belief. I understand why you believe it because you currently have access to psychedelics so you think you can't do that work without it. This is false, psychedelics while a wonderful tool, powerful tool, are not the only tool. Psychedelics make it EASIER to do what you can do without them. You can search your subconscious without psychedelics, but the purpose to gaining greater emotional mastery is to loosen your attachment to the stories you create.

If you are not careful, you create more emotional storylines and will be lost in a trip of I need to do this to heal, and that to heal, and you will HEALING for the rest of your life. Your true nature has never been traumatized, has never been harmed in any way. Your attachment to any story or concept is the source of the trauma. Use this psychedelic to cut away like scissors on paper ALL YOUR STORIES and concepts of yourself. If not, you will end up using psychedelics to increase your ego and you will expand your suffering.

You are not the story you tell yourself, you are that which creates the story itself and then tricks yourself into believing it to experience said story. Other than that great job!!!

[Vlad_]

1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

Nice trip report. Couple of things. 

You said you are God right? This part "I realized that it’s impossible to work with this type of traumas on a conscious level."

That part is a limiting belief. I understand why you believe it because you currently have access to psychedelics so you think you can't do that work without it. This is false, psychedelics while a wonderful tool, powerful tool, are not the only tool. Psychedelics make it EASIER to do what you can do without them. You can search your subconscious without psychedelics, but the purpose to gaining greater emotional mastery is to loosen your attachment to the stories you create.

If you are not careful, you create more emotional storylines and will be lost in a trip of I need to do this to heal, and that to heal, and you will HEALING for the rest of your life. Your true nature has never been traumatized, has never been harmed in any way. Your attachment to any story or concept is the source of the trauma. Use this psychedelic to cut away like scissors on paper ALL YOUR STORIES and concepts of yourself. If not, you will end up using psychedelics to increase your ego and you will expand your suffering.

You are not the story you tell yourself, you are that which creates the story itself and then tricks yourself into believing it to experience said story. Other than that great job!!!

Thank you for sound feedback! 

My ultimate and true identity is God indeed, but since I decided to play the game where I am a human who's living life, I have to change some of my survival ways, because they are dysfunctional. I want to heal my ego and make it healthier. 

I transcended survival, ego and otherness, but than I (as god) made a conscious decision to come back to live my life, my dream. 

It's kind like in a videogame. I want my avatar to be more developed. 

Anyways, 5MeO will keep ego away if needed

[Vincent S]

2 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Nice trip report. Couple of things. 

You said you are God right? This part "I realized that it’s impossible to work with this type of traumas on a conscious level."

That part is a limiting belief. I understand why you believe it because you currently have access to psychedelics so you think you can't do that work without it. This is false, psychedelics while a wonderful tool, powerful tool, are not the only tool. Psychedelics make it EASIER to do what you can do without them. You can search your subconscious without psychedelics, but the purpose to gaining greater emotional mastery is to loosen your attachment to the stories you create.

If you are not careful, you create more emotional storylines and will be lost in a trip of I need to do this to heal, and that to heal, and you will HEALING for the rest of your life. Your true nature has never been traumatized, has never been harmed in any way. Your attachment to any story or concept is the source of the trauma. Use this psychedelic to cut away like scissors on paper ALL YOUR STORIES and concepts of yourself. If not, you will end up using psychedelics to increase your ego and you will expand your suffering.

You are not the story you tell yourself, you are that which creates the story itself and then tricks yourself into believing it to experience said story. Other than that great job!!!

 Beautiful ??✨

[Federico del pueblo]

@Vlad_ Sounds like amazing insights. Congrats for this trip and may you further heal in "the future" ?

[Razard86]

9 hours ago, Vincent S said:

 Beautiful ??✨

Lol I had good teachers.

13 hours ago, Vlad_ said:

I've been doing psychedelics for the last couple of years, mostly shrooms, dmt and recently 5meo.  Although I had a few absolute awakenings I felt like I couldn't integrate them in my daily life. There was something in my ego that I didn't want to look at, something that I've been avoiding for a long long time.  Not only that, I’ve been avoiding one specific psychedelic – LSD. I’d done it two times only, first time with zero effect on me and the second, where I had a “party like” trip. Eventually I gave up on LSD.

Yesterday I was watching Leo’s video “How survival shapes who you are” and I got triggered by it. Some of the past situations appeared in my consciousness, leaving me with tears. I knew I had to come back there, to re-live my traumas. For this very reason I consumed two tabs of LSD (155mg each) and here what happened:

I entered my subconsciousness and I was literally shattered by the pain and suffering I had found. As a kid I had to please my mom in order to get her love and attention. I tried my best not to upset her, because I wanted her to love and appreciate me.  She was working a lot because my dad had left us when I was two years old. I always lack her attention and love. Sometimes I used to stay in kindergarten for a night or at one of her friends.

We lived in a small Ukrainian apartment with only one bedroom, so sometimes when she was with a man (“boyfriend’) I saw them having sex. I was very angry at that time because I saw my mom giving her love and attention (I was too young for the notion of what sex is) to others, but I was left abandoned (at least that’s how I felt about it).

All of it led to some dysfunctional patterns of my behaviour in my “romantic” relationships. I overestimated and pleased women. I was looking at women trough my inner child’s lenses seeking their love and attention. Most of the staff I used to do were designed in order to get approval and love from others, especially women. Unfortunately, because of my neediness and toxicity I was attracting the same toxic partners. All relationships that I had with women were toxic in the way. I believed that in order to be loved I needed to behave in a specific way, to be someone girls wanted me to be. Of course, all of my toxic relationships collapsed and left me with more pain.

During the trip I was re-living a lot of my personal baggage, crying my ass off. I realized that it’s impossible to work with this type of traumas on a conscious level.  It doesn’t matter what your conscious mind is saying when the subconscious is at the wheel. Affirmations, psychologists, friends, meditation is not going to help with it. LSD seemed to be the one instrument that helped me to uncover all of my shit.

Now I finally beginning to feel like my adult and healthy self, but I’m gonna be fighting my demons further with a sword named LSD.

P.S. My professional knowledge helped me a lot during the trip, so if you also want to go trough some traumas of yours, please educate yourself about basics of how psyche works (especially subconsciousness) and do it with a sitter or a psychotherapist (if possible).

Love You All 

Nothing wrong with that just know that you can heal yourself of all your traumas in like an hour if you wanted too. This isn't me short changing the severity, I'm just telling you what's possible. I've had a lot of help from various teachers/gurus and tested this my self and it blew my mind. We really trick ourselves into believing that we are hurt. Time to let those bottled up emotions flow and the stories that created them go. 

Hope everything works out for you!! Do everything at your own pace!!

[Breakingthewall]

@Vlad_ great report. One day=years in growing. lsd is amazing, it opens the doors of your subconscious. Every time I have taken it I have thought: I must do this more. but then I procrastinate because the trip lasts a long time.

[Vlad_]

5 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Lol I had good teachers.

Nothing wrong with that just know that you can heal yourself of all your traumas in like an hour if you wanted too. This isn't me short changing the severity, I'm just telling you what's possible. I've had a lot of help from various teachers/gurus and tested this my self and it blew my mind. We really trick ourselves into believing that we are hurt. Time to let those bottled up emotions flow and the stories that created them go. 

Hope everything works out for you!! Do everything at your own pace!!

What kind of techniques would you recommend to deal with traumas ? 

[Vlad_]

4 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Vlad_ great report. One day=years in growing. lsd is amazing, it opens the doors of your subconscious. Every time I have taken it I have thought: I must do this more. but then I procrastinate because the trip lasts a long time.

Yo, I totally agree about duration of lsd trips! For me it’s around 12-14 hours. It’s way too much. 
lSD i a key to ego’s levels of subconsciousness

[Pudgey]

Ayahuasca cured 90% of my depression. But, that was a phase to the next stages of God Realization and spiritual insight. I would never use it for personal-use for lesser problems. Psychedelics are too powerful for such and will be greatly disrespectful to the substance. LSD should be kept for INFINITY and no other. Otherwise, you will be commingling a lesser problem with a grand-INFINITE-solution. 

Seek professional help instead. Keep psychedelics for INFINITY and traumas for professional humans. 

Here's some insight: 

Traumas are rooted like a tree. They are extremely difficult to pull up and can show up unexpectedly. If you decide to use LSD or any other substances for traumas, you may not know how to handle them. Instead, hiring a therapist or psychologist that specializes in child-hood traumas may do you best. Finding the right therapist can be difficult, but it's worthwhile. That way, you can keep psychedelics out of it. Please know that I'm not rejecting psychedelics as a healing property, as it can be VERY healing. But, human-problems can usually be solved by what's already available and historically proven over the last century. 

Lastly, pranayama-yoga can be a great way to releasing child-hood traumas, as well as shamanic breathing as an alternative. But, If you are very urged to using psychedelic for trauma - Morning Glory Seeds (SHERRY TEK) is very loving and can release trauma. You combine that with parana-yoga and you may get good results. Bu, I don't recommend - it has better uses 

P.S. Morning Glory has some history to releasing: trauma. 

Edited January 7, 2023 by Pudgey