Video Game addiction is potentially sabotaging and degrading my future and happiness

[Molaric]

I hope you guys had a great New Year and Christmas (if you celebrate it)!

I am installing better hobbies and things to do in my life in order to replace my league of legends addiction, however it's just really hard for me to focus on things such as reading and studying computer science concepts and I just space out and think about the game over and over. I try to ignore it and focus on coding and other pursuits but it gets unbearable each day I'm not playing it to where it took me like 90 minutes to read 10 pages of a book, granted it was a difficult academic book on algorithms but still it's a little insane to think about. I just always want to play and watch more content, it never ends. I want to have a good future socially, with my developer skills, and career-wise but at the same time I also just have a strong desire to just play league all day for the rest of my life idk. I just can't imagine what life is like without playing games, it's just so weird to me as it's all I've known since I was 8. I'm gonna look for therapist soon and maybe that'll help but I came here wondering what tips or lessons would you give to deal with this lack of focus/motivation on other pursuits issue that comes with my addiction in the short-term and long-term. I felt less attached then I did in the past to the game but it's still really strong.

[Space]

@Molaric Yea its a tough one to overcome, but it can be done. 

The thing is you don't really want to quit video games. You're just telling yourself it's a good thing to quit, so you end up fighting with yourself and making things more difficult. Which I understand because I'm in that position as well. I'm mildly addicted to video games atm, but it's not too crazy and it doesn't stop me doing work. I play maybe 1-2 hours a day. So I understand your position.

When I've quit games in the past I've often have thoughts like 'What will my life be like in 5 years if I quit now vs if I kept on playing?', and 'I know I'm not gonna play this game forever so whats the difference between quitting sometime in the future vs quitting now. I may as well just quit now and do other things'.

But here's a few ideas and ways forward:

1) Force yourself to go cold turkey. This is actually possible. The trick is to push through the initial withdrawals which may be days, may be weeks depending on the game and your level of addiction. 

You have to accept and come to terms with the fact that you're not gonna play league ever again. It's like a breakup. You're not ever gonna see that person again and it fucking sucks. Same with video games. But you will get over it. You're not gonna be crying about it for the rest of your life. But you'll be glad that you let it go. 

And then when you inevitably have a bunch of free time you start thinking about other things you could be doing. You automatically fill up that time with other things which helps to forget about the video game. 

2) Another idea is to just swap it for another game. I haven't ever played league but I've heard its a life destroying brain rot of a game. So i'd say any other game is probably gonna be better for you. I mean there's so many other games that you could play on a more casual basis that still allow you chill out and have fun, but don't destroy your attention and time like LOL does. 

3) A common bit of advice here is to swap the video game out for some other activity, like sport, some other hobby, maybe even pickup, or going to the gym. But it needs to be something that is really really fun and has the same 'chilled' easy going vibe that playing video games has, otherwise you'll still want to go back to the video games.

4) Another common piece of advice is to have a ridiculously strong and awesome vision for your life that overpowers your desire to play video games. This is definitely possible but video games are so damn addictive and easy to access these days that i'd say this is pretty hard to achieve.

Anyway, hope that helps.

[MarkKol]

Can't believe so many people play that garbage game

1. Let's be honest, you're not playing league on your own. Delete your discord account, skype, teamspeak or whatever you use to communicate with others. move away from real life conversations about league. If you follow any league youtubers unsubscribe, unfollow thier instagram accounts etc... this is crucial.

2. Schedule to delete your account, I've never played league seriously but I'm guessing they won't just delete your account as soon as you ask for it, It will likely take 30 days so get on with it

3. Go on a vacation

I've had it easy since I was addicted to mostly paid video games, So I just deleted my accounts, pushed all my friends away. High school was consuming more of my time, and I quit.

And lastly, I'd like to say that It never goes away. That desire to play never truly leaves, It just lessens and blurs into the background. The fact that you developed an addiction probably means that your mind's prone to that type of fun.

 

[FourCrossedWands]

Video games in general are not the problem, online multiplayer games are! They make your egoistic mind stronger by competing against other players. Just play some city builders or grand strategy games, they are relaxing and harder to get addicted to.

[Molaric]

7 hours ago, Space said:

@Molaric Yea its a tough one to overcome, but it can be done. 

The thing is you don't really want to quit video games. You're just telling yourself it's a good thing to quit, so you end up fighting with yourself and making things more difficult. Which I understand because I'm in that position as well. I'm mildly addicted to video games atm, but it's not too crazy and it doesn't stop me doing work. I play maybe 1-2 hours a day. So I understand your position.

When I've quit games in the past I've often have thoughts like 'What will my life be like in 5 years if I quit now vs if I kept on playing?', and 'I know I'm not gonna play this game forever so whats the difference between quitting sometime in the future vs quitting now. I may as well just quit now and do other things'.

But here's a few ideas and ways forward:

1) Force yourself to go cold turkey. This is actually possible. The trick is to push through the initial withdrawals which may be days, may be weeks depending on the game and your level of addiction. 

You have to accept and come to terms with the fact that you're not gonna play league ever again. It's like a breakup. You're not ever gonna see that person again and it fucking sucks. Same with video games. But you will get over it. You're not gonna be crying about it for the rest of your life. But you'll be glad that you let it go. 

And then when you inevitably have a bunch of free time you start thinking about other things you could be doing. You automatically fill up that time with other things which helps to forget about the video game. 

2) Another idea is to just swap it for another game. I haven't ever played league but I've heard its a life destroying brain rot of a game. So i'd say any other game is probably gonna be better for you. I mean there's so many other games that you could play on a more casual basis that still allow you chill out and have fun, but don't destroy your attention and time like LOL does. 

3) A common bit of advice here is to swap the video game out for some other activity, like sport, some other hobby, maybe even pickup, or going to the gym. But it needs to be something that is really really fun and has the same 'chilled' easy going vibe that playing video games has, otherwise you'll still want to go back to the video games.

4) Another common piece of advice is to have a ridiculously strong and awesome vision for your life that overpowers your desire to play video games. This is definitely possible but video games are so damn addictive and easy to access these days that i'd say this is pretty hard to achieve.

Anyway, hope that helps.

I'll try these thank you

[Ulax]

@Molaric Imo, to be frank, I'd follow this advice more than the above pieces of advice if you're serious about overcoming it.

Summary of actions steps from vid

1. Realising there's a problem and taking steps to address the addictive substance/behaviour. Keeping in mind that the addiction developed for a reason.

2. Whilst addressing the substance/behaviour we need to search for adaptive ways of stimulating the reward pathway. It may take time before your reward pathway can be activated without the addictive substance.

3. Addressing the underlying causes of the inner tension. This may entail schema therapy, psychotherapy or in some parts of the world psychedelic psychotherapy is being found to be effective.

Edited January 5, 2023 by Ulax

[Cathal]

@Molaric these games are designed for you to be absolutely hooked as much as possible, they are not designed for your mental wellbeing

the real struggle is learning new things, adapting and changing. so we take the path of least resistance and fall back to old habits that provide a sense of comfort and security. investigate what league of legends is really making you feel, it's not just about pwning noobs is it?

you have a group of people you get to work together and feel a sense of belonging and contribution, like what you do matters, that feels good. you get to accomplish something, you beat another team, although that's not so important - the real importance is, you are accomplishing something and dopamine is being realesed, it's fast acting, it's happening right now and its easy to obtain. when you outclass someone else and beat them, it feels good, when your team praises you for doing a good job, that feels good. but the reality is it's fucking meaningless, that's what you're suffering right now, the reality of what you do is catching up, video games work in a sense, they realese chemicals in us that make us feel a certain way, but they are fucking meaningless and that bites your ass sooner or later. you get nothing out of it but your own little momentary lapse of entertainment and that is really sad and empty. so, the truth of your statement isn't really the video games but your meaningless life. i understand you, i played LoL hardcore in my teenage years and I was seriously depressed realizing I was in my 20's and had never learned what life is like outside my computer and how I had to face my incompetence and anxiety, it's just the way it is, it's the result of our actions and we have to just accept it, smile with it and enjoy learning new things.

the thoughts can be heavy but just play life as a game, you will be uncomfortable, you will experience unpleasant feelings but at the end of the day you're going to be seriously far more fulfilled and happy with your actions than just letting your little inner child monkey of wanting to feel good all the time drive your life

[Aiwass]

On 1/4/2023 at 11:21 PM, Molaric said:

I hope you guys had a great New Year and Christmas (if you celebrate it)!

I am installing better hobbies and things to do in my life in order to replace my league of legends addiction, however it's just really hard for me to focus on things such as reading and studying computer science concepts and I just space out and think about the game over and over. I try to ignore it and focus on coding and other pursuits but it gets unbearable each day I'm not playing it to where it took me like 90 minutes to read 10 pages of a book, granted it was a difficult academic book on algorithms but still it's a little insane to think about. I just always want to play and watch more content, it never ends. I want to have a good future socially, with my developer skills, and career-wise but at the same time I also just have a strong desire to just play league all day for the rest of my life idk. I just can't imagine what life is like without playing games, it's just so weird to me as it's all I've known since I was 8. I'm gonna look for therapist soon and maybe that'll help but I came here wondering what tips or lessons would you give to deal with this lack of focus/motivation on other pursuits issue that comes with my addiction in the short-term and long-term. I felt less attached then I did in the past to the game but it's still really strong.

It is not the video games but the addictions and subtle addictions.

Addictions come with withdrawals.

[Yimpa]

On 1/4/2023 at 10:21 PM, Molaric said:

I'm gonna look for therapist soon and maybe that'll help but I came here wondering what tips or lessons would you give to deal with this lack of focus/motivation on other pursuits issue that comes with my addiction in the short-term and long-term. I felt less attached then I did in the past to the game but it's still really strong.

Have you considered if you may or may not have ADHD? 

If you feel that you relate to this video, I’d mention it to your therapist.

 

[flowboy]

On 05/01/2023 at 5:21 AM, Molaric said:

I just can't imagine what life is like without playing games, it's just so weird to me as it's all I've known since I was 8.

Really good advice has been given by other ex-gamers above, and I'm not going to duplicate that, I agree with most of what's been said above.

 

I'm just going to pick this thread to pull on: you say it's "all you've known since you were 8"

That makes me think that you've had some emotional neglect from your parents.

Why did you turn to excessive gaming at that age?

Why did your parents let you do that, and not coach you towards including other activities that would make up a healthy life balance for a kid? (physical activities with friends, music, sports, etc)

Did they provide enough emotional support, and listening without judgment?

Did you freely talk to them about anything and everything that was troubling you?

Or were there problems that you didn't feel safe discussing?

Something to figure out with your therapist, I think there might be something there.

Also watch my video linked below on what to look for in a therapist.

Edited January 20, 2023 by flowboy