Why i don't have feelings towards her

[evgn]

I was with a girl for 11 months. I haven't been in a serious relationship before her. 

She is the most beautiful girl i have ever met, she is kind, nice, ambitious and young, she would be a perfect wife. She loved me very much, no girl ever loved me like that before. We had a great connection.

Everything was perfect initially. Once our honeymoon phase passed something happend. I lost my feelings towards her without any reason.

We broke up 5 months ago because i was very drepressed and sad in our relationship, and i no longer loved her, i didn't want to spend time with her and i started to resent her.

She still loves me....  

Why i don't love her? Why i don't have feelings towards her?

Can you be with someone that you dont have fellings towards?

I feel bad for not being able to be with her....

Edited January 2, 2023 by evgn

[integral]

After they honey moon phase ends the primary fantasy (looks, money, social status) is no longer important and what matters is the secondary fantasy.

Primary Fantasy: Men are conditioned to be physically attracted to young (or at least, younger), vital, and healthy-looking females with smooth skin, shiny hair, well aligned complete white teeth, symmetric facial and body features, wide hips, small waists (ideally with an 0.7 hip-to-waist ratio),65 sparkling eyes, and full breasts, which are all indicators for fertility and the ability to bear healthy children.66

Secondary Fantasy: Shared values, interests, lifestyle choices, temperaments, plans and dreams for the future, and compatible needs around time spent together, money, and sex.

Did you guys have good compatibility as friends? 

[evgn]

12 minutes ago, integral said:

After they honey moon phase ends the primary fantasy (looks, money, social status) is no longer important and what matters is the secondary fantasy.

Primary Fantasy: Men are conditioned to be physically attracted to young (or at least, younger), vital, and healthy-looking females with smooth skin, shiny hair, well aligned complete white teeth, symmetric facial and body features, wide hips, small waists (ideally with an 0.7 hip-to-waist ratio),65 sparkling eyes, and full breasts, which are all indicators for fertility and the ability to bear healthy children.66

Secondary Fantasy: Shared values, interests, lifestyle choices, temperaments, plans and dreams for the future, and compatible needs around time spent together, money, and sex.

Did you guys have good compatibility as friends? 

Yes, we had great compatibility as friends.. Also our relationship covered the Secondary Fantasy as you described above....

Everything was perfect.. but i do not love her. WHY? 

 

[integral]

@evgn 

38 minutes ago, evgn said:

i was very drepressed and sad in our relationship, and i no longer loved her, i didn't want to spend time with her and i started to resent her

That does not sound like good friends.

Do you have any childhood trauma? 

Edited January 2, 2023 by integral

[evgn]

5 minutes ago, integral said:

@evgn 

That does not sound like good friends.

Do you have any childhood trauma? 

I thing that i have, but i am not aware what is it.. I find myself depressed very often.

[John Paul]

On to the next one  until that trauma comes out or whatever it is. 

im traumatized off my ass so idk how this will play out.