I'm bad at closing

[Butters]

This has caused me some real mental problems. I've only closed from cold approach once I think. I'm basically waiting for some perfect signal because I've creeped girls out in the past, with career ending concequences so I'm really traumatized in this area. 

I also have aspergers so that's why I try to wait for that perfect signal. I feel like I've only recently become more socially aware and more confident and attractive so girls expect me to lead them. 

I'm getting a lot of opportunities constantly, and always fuck them up, knowing I fucked up I feel less of a man afterwards. 

Then as a result I don't even wanna do cold approach anymore because this issue will always pop up eventually so why even bother. 

When I go on a date I play it cool, that's fine because I know we're on a date. But I'm too scared to misread signals in the wild and creep a girl out / be inappropriate. 

I kinda feel extra pressure because I'm a athletic 6'4 guy with strong eye contact and think I come across as not giving a fuck what people think about me. But then when they find out this insecurity or whatever is gonna creep the fuck out of girls and make them feel unsafe. 

Its like girls expect me to have status and game but really I don't. I wasn't attractive in the past. 

[Roy]

20 minutes ago, Butters said:

with career ending concequences so I'm really traumatized in this area. 

Jesus man watch out! No poontang is worth losing your ability to pay rent. Stop being so desperate to sleep with every girl you pursue, learn to be content with what comes to you.

[PenguinPablo]

You're putting too much pressure on yourself... and that itself leads to these questionable situations.

Relax. smoke some weed. meditate. drink some tea and wait for the sun to rise in the early morning.

Remember how Leo said it's all about state of consciousness? That's it. The one you're in right now makes you frenetic, awkward, and possibly creepy. 

It's not that you are inherently any of those things but the frequency you're tuned into because of the pressure you put on yourself, the pressure society puts on you.

of course, you don't realize you are shooting yourself in the foot because you dont have a reference point for other states.

But... I would say RELAX.

Who gives a fuck.

None of this literally matters. 

You got yourself in a frenzy over fucking nothing.

That itself makes you suffer more.

So stop trying. who cares.

Edited January 2, 2023 by PenguinPablo

[Kshantivadin]

There is almost never a perfect signal. Fuck em. Both in attitude and literally 

[Leo Gura]

A woman must be lead into sex.

No leading, no sex.

Stop acting stupid. If you cannot lead her into sex you don't deserve sex with her and you will not get it.

Edited January 4, 2023 by Leo Gura

[John Paul]

Just work on asking where she’s going later and then whatever she says just suggest she just leave with you sooner and go somewhere else. And if she won’t then try to see if she’ll invite you to go with her. Or if you sense nothing is happening excuse yourself for a moment but then go talk to another girl right away- don’t think.

[Chives99]

@Leo Gura don't be mean to autistic people , socialising is like 10000 x harder for autistics

[Butters]

On 1/4/2023 at 4:06 AM, Leo Gura said:

A woman must be lead into sex.

No leading, no sex.

Stop acting stupid. If you cannot lead her into sex you don't deserve sex with her and you will not get it.

Thanks! I didn't wanna even check replies until now cause my post is so cringe. 

I went out Friday and it went okay, danced and talked to some girls. I think I'll get better as I go out more. 

Some points of improvement for myself:

• Open more. I had girls I opened come back later in the night and then they already like me so that's fun. Other girls would just make eye contact and looked bored waiting for me to open them. 
• Don't drink! It makes me so uncallibrated I hate it. I took some 2cb, that's much better and makes me social while remaining consious. And it makes me dance lol. I would recommend it only if you've taken this before, and let wait maybe 3 hours after taking it cause the come up in public transport sucked. 

I still get confused about what girls expect from me. Like sometimes I just talk but they already expect me to pull them? I need more practice. 

@Roy This was a bit of a pain body post, it's complicated and alcohol was involved. I've learned this weekend that alcohol really isn't for me, reflecting on lots of earlier moments from my life as well. Just because alcohol is normal in our society doesn't mean I should consume this drug. 

Edited January 8, 2023 by Butters

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Butters said:

Don't drink! It makes me so uncallibrated I hate it. I took some 2cb, that's much better and makes me social while remaining consious. And it makes me dance lol.

Game sober. Learn to manage your own emotional state.

Quote

I still get confused about what girls expect from me. Like sometimes I just talk but they already expect me to pull them? I need more practice.

You need to literally just practice leading for like a solid month.

Go into a club, just walk up to a girl, don't say anything, gently take her by the hand, and walk her over to the bar. Do this 100 times and just see what happens. Some girls will reject you hard, but a few will just come along. This will teach you leading.

Treat the girl like she is yours from the get-go. Take her wherever you want. That is the proper attitude. It's her choice not come along and you never take that personally. You should always err on the side of leading too much rather than second-guessing yourself. The worst that will happen is she will say No. And even then you can still continue flirting with her and try again in 5 minutes.

As soon as you see a girl likes you, take her by the hand and lead her somewhere, anywhere, if only 10ft to the left. Once you succeed at that, try leading her 100ft. Then 1000ft. Then to your car. Then to your house. Then to your bed.

Edited January 9, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Eyowey]

On 02/01/2023 at 7:16 AM, Butters said:

I try to wait for that perfect signal.

This is a smart thing because it prevents you from wasting time on girls who don't want you. You just have to define what a perfect signal looks like. I would say that the perfect signal is when she makes you feel wanted / desired. I have a sixth sense for this now.