Some dude grabbed my girl’s ass while we were separated tonight

[Carl-Richard]

7 minutes ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

Then it is logically that guys grab her ass. So unnecessary thoughts. 

An emotion is not a thought ?

[IAmReallyImportant]

8 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

An emotion is not a thought ?

He did spent many thoughts on this. Read his posts. A whole thread emerged out of it leading other people to think abouh it, too.

[IAmReallyImportant]

That's ok. It is just unnecessary and doesn't change the matter of the fact.

[Carl-Richard]

21 minutes ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

That's ok. It is just unnecessary and doesn't change the matter of the fact.

Emotions are highly necessary. Venting about them is also necessary.

Edited January 3, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[integral]

12 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

Bro, there is no "inner cause". This is a normal ape response to normal bad ape behavior. It's not deep, it's nothing to psychoanalyze about. He came here to vent and it seems like it's over and dealt with. If he starts having nightmares or writes a list of homicidal fantasies, maybe then you can roll out the armchair, but this is not that time.

Ye he needs to vent but i disagree in that its a universal reaction all people will have, i would not react this way unless i had a unhealthy attachment to the girl and so exactly why he is reacting this way is important. Also this negative emotion will trigger behavior change where he is more fearful of future events. 

[Carl-Richard]

4 minutes ago, integral said:

Ye he needs to vent but i disagree in that its a universal reaction all people will have, i would not react this way unless i had a unhealthy attachment to the girl and so exactly why he is reacting this way is important. Also this negative emotion will trigger behavior change where he is more fearful of future events. 

It believe it's a normal reaction, not necessarily an universal one. I don't believe you're normal ?

Edited January 3, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[integral]

2 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

I don't believe you're normal ?

??? perfect line in a romance novel right before hugging the girl ?

[IAmReallyImportant]

55 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Emotions are highly necessary. Venting about them is also necessary.

I agree but ruminating is.

In this case his emotions are not necessary though. As it creates unnecessary suffering.

In todays world negative emotions become unnecessary. 

Edited January 3, 2023 by IAmReallyImportant

[IAmReallyImportant]

It is good ho show you how stupid that is. Because it is basically. 

The dumbest things happen from ego driven emotional reactions. And so is it here.

[Carl-Richard]

5 minutes ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

I agree but ruminating is.

I don't see any rumination here at least. He seems to have moved on.

 

5 minutes ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

In this case his emotions are not necessary though. As it creates unnecessary suffering.

It protects his girlfriend.

Edited January 3, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[IAmReallyImportant]

Moreover, venting in front of others is not good .

Because one basically seeks for validation to give this unhealthy thoughts and reactions more importance.

He can do it with pen and paper or otherwise.

[IAmReallyImportant]

2 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

I don't see any rumination here at least. He seems to have moved on.

 

It also protects his girlfriend.

He would protect her more with a clear mind and reasoning.

 

[Carl-Richard]

1 minute ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

He would protect her more with a clear mind and reasoning.

Yeah, show us the way, Jesus ?

[IAmReallyImportant]

5 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

Yeah, show us the way, Jesus ?

Tjis happens when someone runs out if arguments and projects.

[Carl-Richard]

25 minutes ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

Tjis happens when someone runs out if arguments and projects.

Let me rephrase: you're talking about an extraordinary standard, sainthood, while I'm talking about what is normal. Still, even the most hyper-enlightened saints experience the full range of human emotions. It's just that the frequency, intensity and duration of those emotions are generally lessened (based on my own experience of "sainthood" if I may lol), and they're generally more resilient and can repress their emotions more effectively. But yeah, if you're not an enlightened saint, you should avoid repressing your emotions too often, and certainly avoid believing that emotions are bad. They're keeping you alive, and you should express them when they arise, unless it's completely socially inappropriate. Also, just generally speaking, repressing emotions is bad for your health, both mentally and physically. The energy gets internalized as endless rumination; repetitive mental anguish and a stressed-out physiology.

Edited January 3, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Thought Art]

Healthy anger is the ideal here, as opposed to unhealthy, toxic anger or repression or suppression.

[Carl-Richard]

1 minute ago, Thought Art said:

Healthy anger is the ideal here, as opposed to unhealthy, toxic anger or repression or suppression.

Pent-up, obsessive and cyclical anger is what is unhealthy. Expressing anger when the situation calls for it is what the emotion evolved to do.

[IAmReallyImportant]

11 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Let me rephrase: you're talking about an extraordinary standard, sainthood, while I'm talking about what is normal. Still, even the most hyper-enlightened saints experience the full range of human emotions. It's just that the frequency, intensity and duration of those emotions are generally lessened (based on my own experience of "sainthood" if I may lol), and they're generally more resilient and can repress their emotions more effectively. But yeah, if you're not an enlightened saint, you should avoid repressing your emotions too often, and certainly avoid believing that emotions are bad. They're keeping you alive, and you should express them when they arise, unless it's completely socially inappropriate. Also, just generally speaking, repressing emotions is bad for your health, both mentally and physically. The energy gets internalized as endless rumination; repetitive mental anguish and a stressed-out physiology.

You dont supress if emotions if you express them by yourself without making it public.

 

Edited January 3, 2023 by IAmReallyImportant

[IAmReallyImportant]

It would not be reasonable to supress emotions and as written couple posts already before, one can express them. E.g. on paper beciause it is more effective. Nobody gains anything from validation but help to suppress problems or emotions.

You did runnout of arguments, because you now invent things I never mentioned.

Edited January 3, 2023 by IAmReallyImportant

[Thought Art]

@Carl-Richard Yeah, 

Punching a guy to death with a brass ring isn’t it though. 

Totally good to be angry

Healthy anger is a rather nuanced thing, can’t get into here 

Edited January 3, 2023 by Thought Art