First 2 trips I saw things from God's perspective 3rd time I recorded myself..

[Life-Hacking]

Interested if anyone else had a similar experience:

First trip started as feeling unconditional love and pure nirvana, the material world and people I loved glitched away like holograms, I kept saying "I won the game", experienced ego death, and everything was pure heaven until I got to the void at the end. Realized everything was not real and I was all there is Imagine being stuck in space all alone for eternity. I screamed in horror and haven't forgotten the feeling since.

Second trip world also disappeared like a hologram and I had a deja vu feeling as if I had "remembered" I was God and material life was not real many many times. I felt like I had the option to leave this material world but I forced myself to get up when it felt like I may not be able to come back. When I opened my eyes I saw everything around me covered in sacred geometry. I kept telling myself I wanted to stay even though I knew this reality and my loved ones were not real. The feeling haunted me in my dreams for two weeks after.

Third trip my plan was to record myself to remember better as the first two although I remembered a lot, I was struggling to remember some specific details. I got back to the "remembering" who I was immediately, same deja vu feeling as if I had done this many times. Actually felt okay knowing this was not real and wanting to set the goal of trying to play awake in this dream. Here's what I was saying in the recording. It took everything in me to try and talk and sounded very similar to those under hypnosis for past life regression:

This body is the avatar

This is all meaningless

I as the creator am choosing everything

We know that we created everything

We know that we are the creator of everything

We choose to be in this spot

Every person in this world we created

I feel ashamed because of this aspect of creation I have failed and let people down

I’m looking for others to tell me who I am

I AM creation

Everything I like or don’t like is my creation

Keep forgetting I’m choosing from this Avatar

Looking for outside approval which is trivial in this life

It’s what makes it more real

(Name) is the Avatar I’ve chosen

In order for me to make this reality more real I try to abide by rules that I have created

Feeling shame for others in this dream is because I created them

Loneliness is inherent

They're looking for your leadership because you are their creator

They thirst for your love

Many times forgetting and remembering forgetting and remembering

Want to remember this but I understand why in order to make this reality more real better to go along

Grievances are so ridiculous because I’m fighting with myself

Right and wrong is all made up

I am choosing to come back into this life character that forgets rather than constantly trying to create duality to make this more real

All these teachers are a figment of my imagination

Safety mechanisms like the Ego to make this real

This is all my creation

I created all differences all those I designed to despise I actually created them

I created all the (audible) in this dream

Also made this avatar not super

Create some limitations in this avatar to make life more meaningful

Me letting others down bothers me so much in this game cause I’m letting my creations that are looking for a leader

I keep falling into the trap looking at others ridiculous behavior in this reality as real

I created for the mere reason of making this more real

Forgetting everything to make this reality of the world more real

Remembering how ridiculous it is that I created all concept of God

I made up all grievances all differences

Need to remember everything that bothers me in this dream is to help make it more real

I go back and forth between what is real and being bothered and triggered, right wrong in order to make this world more real

All differences is to make this material reality more real

Keep going back and forth between remembering who I am and the truth and thinking about differences

The entire world is an elaborate dream

I create everything that I hate in this material perspective

I created the Matrix to make this reality more real

Pain and discomfort in this story is to make it more real

Blue pill is what we take is what I take every day to not remember everything

Every character in this dream I created, love or hate, all differences are a figment of my imagination to make this game more real

I create all the teachers on this path to remind me who I am

Jealousy is a drug to make life more real

Because I’m ashamed it’s because I’m hiding it from myself

I create the world very similar to a computer program

It’s all made up this whole thing is a play

Fear, if I fear something I created it from my imagination

Imagine every opposite, every negative in this creation all to make material reality (audible)

How I remember differences is to give this world more reality

Did it to the least of these did it to me

When you treat someone else in a way you created in the world (audible)

I know I am God I laugh when I forget

Hunger another thing that makes reality more real