Asexual for life

[at_anchor]

Is it possible to let go of ever having sex in life in spite of the urges and still approach death without feelings of regret for not having had  sex you needed?

I'm putting this in the mental health subforum because repressed sexuality can lead to mental problems and also mental problems can lead to your inability to get anything done in life as well as to be unattractive to the opposite or same sex...

[at_anchor]

1 hour ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

Perhaps the need to let go is yet another attachment?

Perhaps so...

Edited December 29, 2022 by at_anchor

[FourCrossedWands]

There are billions of people and animals that don't have sex and/or will never have sex. There are more important things in life, it's just our society that makes it the biggest problem of the universe...

[Roy]

From what I've seen from observing humans, when they deliberately neglect an area or aspect of life it turns out to be more of a bad idea than a good one.

[at_anchor]

3 hours ago, FourCrossedWands said:

There are billions of people and animals that don't have sex and/or will never have sex. There are more important things in life, it's just our society that makes it the biggest problem of the universe...

I didn't know there is such a large number, poor things. What's more important than sex? If you had the best sex along with some health and intelligence spiced up in there, and with security, you'd be fine. I say it is the most important, but I don't act that way all the time due to shame society has placed on it. In life there is sex, and then there is career, family, security, competition, etc. 

[FourCrossedWands]

6 hours ago, at_anchor said:

I didn't know there is such a large number, poor things.

Poor things? Because of lack of sex? Do you realize there are billions of animals (chickens, pigs, etc.) that are genetically modified and their only life purpose is to be eaten by humans?

[something_else]

12 hours ago, at_anchor said:

Is it possible to let go of ever having sex in life in spite of the urges and still approach death without feelings of regret for not having had  sex you needed?

I'm putting this in the mental health subforum because repressed sexuality can lead to mental problems and also mental problems can lead to your inability to get anything done in life as well as to be unattractive to the opposite or same sex...

Not if you force it, most likely. Some people are naturally asexual and for them it may work.

[Ulax]

@at_anchor I guess if you went very spiritual then yes. But for the 99% i think there would be regret.

On another note, something you could think about is your relationship to regret. If you seek to avoid it, then fear of regret, to my mind, controls you. You live your life to avoid a feeling. Why not also work to love and accept regret?

 

[at_anchor]

1 hour ago, FourCrossedWands said:

Poor things? Because of lack of sex? Do you realize there are billions of animals (chickens, pigs, etc.) that are genetically modified and their only life purpose is to be eaten by humans?

Yes, because of lack of sex. Chickens then have a terrible fate, like many humanoids. Isn't sex the root cause of jealousy among people?

[EugeneTheSage]

In my case I was suppressing my sexual urges for a long and it backfired strongly

[ZenAlex]

I'm basically schizoid. I rarely to never find anyone attractive.

I don't get laid ever and I don't care. 

The way it feels? Just think of everything else you enjoy, and imagine being able to do all that and be happy with life without need for orgasm, an no sexual urges.

[at_anchor]

3 hours ago, ZenAlex said:

Just think of everything else you enjoy, and imagine being able to do all that and be happy with life without need for orgasm, an no sexual urges.

That sounds kind of hard atm... I mean, I could imagine a life without sexual orgasam being kind of empty...

What else is as enjoyable as sex? I can't go travel, do martial arts, dance, music or something like that. 

The problem is that I feel like I cannot let go of a biological need for this sort of physical connection, at least not until I have an amazing threesome a couple of times or just amazing sex a couple of times with someone really special. 

You can't be happy in a position of a wounded slave in an abusive relationship that angers and depresses and shames you so often, relationshios that rib you of everything including your health. The only pleasure someone in that position can hope to have is in the end just some really bad or humiliating sex or someone taking control of you.

Edited January 1, 2023 by at_anchor

[at_anchor]

Quote

Sexual attraction is confusing, maddening, euphoric, even dangerous.
It drives people to extreme behavior, even unspeakable crimes.
The beating pulse, the sweating palms, the rise of chemicals in the brain are the symptoms of a much deeper, more mysterious affliction.
The mechanism that chooses and controls the objects of sexual desire can only be found in the heart of the unexplained...

Sex and romantic connection is very important to me, I can remember that being the case like always. Problem is that I cannot let go of this need which I shoukd let go of cause I guess other more basic needs are also not being fulfilled. 

[IAmReallyImportant]

On 29.12.2022 at 10:14 PM, at_anchor said:

Is it possible to let go of ever having sex in life in spite of the urges and still approach death without feelings of regret for not having had  sex you needed?

I'm putting this in the mental health subforum because repressed sexuality can lead to mental problems and also mental problems can lead to your inability to get anything done in life as well as to be unattractive to the opposite or same sex...

If you want to let it go even you have the urges to is unhealthy. It wouldnt work either and there is no valid reason to do so.

[IAmReallyImportant]

Monks who dont have sex and arent weird but are comfortable with it dont have zhe urge in the first place because they lost it as an byproduct of their practice.

[IAmReallyImportant]

If you are in an environment that leads you to unhealthy sexual behaviour or unhealthy social behaviour you should cut it off immediately and watch porn instead. Later on try to create a healthy environment for that. I would say at leadt 6 months break.

[at_anchor]

6 hours ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

If you are in an environment that leads you to unhealthy sexual behaviour or unhealthy social behaviour you should cut it off immediately

I cannot cut it off, I'm a prisoner of this environment to such an extent that it pulls me back when I try to leave like crabs in a bucket. I'm also so unwell now and don't have any options that I basically cannot move and fit anywhere else to survive. So many problems with creating a better life for me that it seems virtually impossible. Yet if I stay here any longer it will severly damage my health to the point of no return. I wonder maybe that line has already been crossed and now there is no turning back.

I wish I could leave and become free and secured from these crabs, but I cannot. The places available are unsuitable for me now and were even worse in the past, with some additional better people around.

I really should get out of here immediately but I can't. Like a person caught with sharks in the water cannot save himself.

Edited January 2, 2023 by at_anchor

[at_anchor]

I want every day of my life to be good, but those days are like almost non-existant in life.

[IAmReallyImportant]

18 hours ago, at_anchor said:

I cannot cut it off, I'm a prisoner of this environment to such an extent that it pulls me back when I try to leave like crabs in a bucket. I'm also so unwell now and don't have any options that I basically cannot move and fit anywhere else to survive. So many problems with creating a better life for me that it seems virtually impossible. Yet if I stay here any longer it will severly damage my health to the point of no return. I wonder maybe that line has already been crossed and now there is no turning back.

I wish I could leave and become free and secured from these crabs, but I cannot. The places available are unsuitable for me now and were even worse in the past, with some additional better people around.

I really should get out of here immediately but I can't. Like a person caught with sharks in the water cannot save himself.

You can say something so bad and harmful to those people that they will never talk to you again. And then it doesn't matter if you have the urges because there is no possibility for you to fulfill them.

Edited January 2, 2023 by IAmReallyImportant

[IAmReallyImportant]

Can explain the kind of environment more precisely?