Why isn't easier to date girls from school?

[Hardkill]

9 minutes ago, TheGreekSeeker said:

@Hardkill I don't think that @integral and @NoSelfSelf treated you right. They both seem that they want to undermine your attempts at being a high value man. And for moderators, they surely don't show the appropriate behaviour. I am really dissapointed at the quality of their answers. Stop making assumptions about people when you don't know them!

1st point: don't confuse friendly behaviour from girls as flirt, you said they were really friendly with you when you first met, but as thirsty men we tend to misinterpret every indication of friendly female behaviour as attraction towards as, as flirt, as erotical intentions. Do that distinction right at the moment when you feel like you've struck iron.

2nd point: school presents a lot of opportunities but also in my experience girls from my area prefered to have relationships with guys outside school, either because they were older, more mature, they had a motorcycle etc, or simply because school is a tight-knit community and everyone gossips about everyone. My first girlfriend was from another school and I felt better than way, since my classmates didn't know much about my personal life. And I didn't want that. Personal life is personal. So that might be a reason why girls keep their classmates at bay. 

3rd point: don't confuse your effort with what the other person sees. Your efforts should be for your own good, not to win others, because this creates a bitterness inside you and you need people to respect "all the things you have gone through".

4th point: If you keep chasing validation from sex or a potential relationship with a girl you will feel emotional instability and lack of fulfillment. Everyone wants sex and relationships, but if you can't acquire them easily, together with trying to acquire them, you could also try to improve other aspects of your life, like fitness, studies, work etc. This progress will give you the support to get through the loneliness and the hard feelings of not getting what you want in other aspects of your life, otherwise you'll suffer.

 

 

@Leo Gura I strongly believe that moderators should have more compassion, maybe choose more women for this role, since men from the ages of 20 to 35 are very rationalistic and logic-based, and apparently most women and men don't need that kind of unsolicited advice. They need compassion and understanding. People grow up in their own pace. One can offer purposeful advice while still being polite and soft.

Yeah, I agree with what you're saying, for the most part.

I also get that I still have a lot to learn about getting good with women in general. I never said or even believed that I haven't done anything wrong in terms of my game. 

But I just don't understand why approaching and dating girls has to be as hard trying to win a business deal with one of the cutthroat investors from Shark Tank or something like that.

[NoSelfSelf]

@TheGreekSeeker Im not here to fit into your standard and ways you want me to be, im doing what i think is best some people will hate it some will love it...but harsher approach is best is exposes the ones who truly are about something and want to grow versus someone who just pretends he wants to grow and being about something they are not...i mean if someone has such a fragile ego that cant take criticism then  he wont amount to anything in self actualization, it is about 100% brutal honesty to yoirself...you can flash and flex your external resaults all you want but whats really important is internal..you can have all the girl in the world and still be underdeveloped loser,academia is perfect example you just become succesful brainwashed puppet after all the years there...you won but you actually lost..

[TheGreekSeeker]

2 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@TheGreekSeeker Im not here to fit into your standard and ways you want me to be, im doing what i think is best some people will hate it some will love it...but harsher approach is best is exposes the ones who truly are about something and want to grow versus someone who just pretends he wants to grow and being about something they are not...i mean if someone has such a fragile ego that cant take criticism then  he wont amount to anything in self actualization, it is about 100% brutal honesty to yoirself...you can flash and flex your external resaults all you want but whats really important is internal..you can have all the girl in the world and still be underdeveloped loser,academia is perfect example you just become succesful brainwashed puppet after all the years there...you won but you actually lost..

I dont 'want' the NoSelfSelf personality to be restricted, but as a moderator you have adopted a social role. This role comes with power in the social hierarchy, and so people might expect a more careful placement on topics from you.

When I was younger and on this forum I regarded moderators, let alone Leo, as demi-gods. People see the green color and value your words a lot more than a usual member. I know this is a mistake on my part but I was younger and more gullible. I think this whole forum is about ideals. An ideal behaviour is one which doesn't hurt others. Of course be yourself. You can be yourself without "attacking" others. Clearly what I witnessed with @Hardkill was an attack, not an attempt to help. People understand when help is genuine and when it has ill intents.

[NoSelfSelf]

@TheGreekSeeker ill intents to tell him that hes boring women, that he should be able to express himself better and stop pretending that hes all perfect with no flaws just women are too shallow to realize it? okay im assuming 

[TheGreekSeeker]

3 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@TheGreekSeeker ill intents to tell him that hes boring women, that he should be able to express himself better and stop pretending that hes all perfect with no flaws just women are too shallow to realize it? okay im assuming 

the intent was good, the way of expression had the opposite result. You tell a guy that struggles with women that he is boring and not charismatic. This can go very badly for him. Not ill intent, in effective. Pardon me.

[LordFall]

7 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Not being very emotionally expressive is a form of stoicism. That's masculine, whereas being flamboyant is more feminine.

Btw, almost all of the girls at the college I was at haven't accomplished anywhere near what I have throughout my whole life. These are nothing special.

In any case, no one is answering why dating girls from school isn't easier than from cold approach or online dating. Most guys meet their significant other either from work or school or social circle. 

Therefore, it still doesn't add up to me.

You're just wrong though. @NoSelfSelf perfectly diagnosed you from two posts, it is also obvious to me that you would be struggling with game and connecting with women from just reading this reply too. 

Women need to feel your emotions to connect to you. NO, it doesn't mean that you need to cry and be flamboyant and tell everyone how you feel. Yes to be truly masculine and "alpha" you need to be grounded in you emotions and not let them control you but that also truly means being able to express them freely when you want/need to. being fully stoic is like being emotionally damaged and stunted, kind of like a monotone computer programmer. Women HATE that, it feels dead to them, like a mix of boring and creepy. 

Dating girls from cold approach and online game is easier because it's an isolated environment. It makes girls screen you only based off of looks and your basic game. Girls from school are fully exposed to your personality and also are judged by their peers so are a bit more closed off. I'm telling you that from your replies, you are both emotionally closed off and REACTIVE. Like you have some sort of unhealed trauma. If me and the mods can sense it than girls that go to class with you for weeks/months will feel it and be put off by it. That's why they're scared to give you their numbers, you somehow register as a threat to them. If you're an open and energetically safe guy then they would give you their number on the first day no problem.

This is not an attack, I'm trying to give you some insight. The good news is that if you have success online and through night game then you just have to fix a couple issues and you'll be fine. I think it has to do with unhealed trauma IMO. I would look into Julien's stuff transformation mastery and like plain old boring therapy.

Considering your personality I think you'll be put off by therapy. Don't be, it's great. It will literally help your game, like legit 100%. It's not a waste of time. 

@TheGreekSeeker I think you're wrong. There's a lot of good to be said about tough love and harsh constructive criticism. Sensitive snowflakes don't achieve big things. If you're offended by someone giving you shit and trying to help you then I don't think you understand the world. Personally, I'm offended by people specifically being compassionate and giving me bullshit advice, it's like your aunt telling you you're handsome and why don't you have a girlfriend. Fuck you Auntie, you should've told me I was awkward and to do more pushups, that would've helped. 

I am exaggerating and there should be a balance but I think the mods were fair, I don't understand the offensive here and don't think it is warranted. 

[TheGreekSeeker]

@LordFall of course tough love is useful, but I think the OP already tries to make a change in his life (he is pressuring himself to approach girls), and he comes here for guidance, not tough love. Since he clearly showed signs of frustration with the approach, then some more compassionate approach could be applied. Constructive criticism is useful, but not everything works for everyone. You could say all the right things to 2 different persons, the one takes it and applies it (because he is more rationalistic and masculine), the other dismisses it since he feels put off by the way the advice is being expressed (because he is more intuitive and feminine). I believe that people have the ability to formulate decisions for themselves. When they ask for our opinions we can answer to their call, but when they feel frustrated this is an indicator of a vibe/energy mismatch. You can offer an opinion without enforcing it. You can give advice without coloring it with energy. How is he a sensitive snowflake? He is out there facing his fears and approaching girls. He is brave.

[NoSelfSelf]

@LordFall So true if we can see it, then women can see it on steroids and immidietly put him in a box where he wont come out..and beating around the bush being friendly to get them at the end of semester is manipulative im not againts the guy im trying to tell how it is...

[Hardkill]

9 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@LordFall So true if we can see it, then women can see it on steroids and immidietly put him in a box where he wont come out..and beating around the bush being friendly to get them at the end of semester is manipulative im not againts the guy im trying to tell how it is...

Dude, I think you're taking this way too seriously. 

You really most of the guys in high school and college who got girls knew what the hell they were doing let alone using seduction techniques from RSD, Mystery Method, Locario, ARC, etc.?

Again, this isn't rocket science and not even supposed to be as hard running for some high level political office, persuading a cutthroat Shark Tank to invest in a business proposal of mine, or being a diplomat who's trying to make peace between a foreign country and his own country.

Plus, every girl in high school and college ain't shit, regardless of how popular they are at school. Almost none of them are like famous celebrities or models.

I am not trying to argue with you for the sake of arguing. I am just telling it like it is.

Edited December 31, 2022 by Hardkill

[Hardkill]

17 hours ago, LordFall said:

You're just wrong though. @NoSelfSelf perfectly diagnosed you from two posts, it is also obvious to me that you would be struggling with game and connecting with women from just reading this reply too. 

Women need to feel your emotions to connect to you. NO, it doesn't mean that you need to cry and be flamboyant and tell everyone how you feel. Yes to be truly masculine and "alpha" you need to be grounded in you emotions and not let them control you but that also truly means being able to express them freely when you want/need to. being fully stoic is like being emotionally damaged and stunted, kind of like a monotone computer programmer. Women HATE that, it feels dead to them, like a mix of boring and creepy. 

Dating girls from cold approach and online game is easier because it's an isolated environment. It makes girls screen you only based off of looks and your basic game. Girls from school are fully exposed to your personality and also are judged by their peers so are a bit more closed off. I'm telling you that from your replies, you are both emotionally closed off and REACTIVE. Like you have some sort of unhealed trauma. If me and the mods can sense it than girls that go to class with you for weeks/months will feel it and be put off by it. That's why they're scared to give you their numbers, you somehow register as a threat to them. If you're an open and energetically safe guy then they would give you their number on the first day no problem.

This is not an attack, I'm trying to give you some insight. The good news is that if you have success online and through night game then you just have to fix a couple issues and you'll be fine. I think it has to do with unhealed trauma IMO. I would look into Julien's stuff transformation mastery and like plain old boring therapy.

Considering your personality I think you'll be put off by therapy. Don't be, it's great. It will literally help your game, like legit 100%. It's not a waste of time. 

@TheGreekSeeker I think you're wrong. There's a lot of good to be said about tough love and harsh constructive criticism. Sensitive snowflakes don't achieve big things. If you're offended by someone giving you shit and trying to help you then I don't think you understand the world. Personally, I'm offended by people specifically being compassionate and giving me bullshit advice, it's like your aunt telling you you're handsome and why don't you have a girlfriend. Fuck you Auntie, you should've told me I was awkward and to do more pushups, that would've helped. 

I am exaggerating and there should be a balance but I think the mods were fair, I don't understand the offensive here and don't think it is warranted. 

Once again, guys like you are just making blanket statements that are very unfair.

Unhealed trauma from what? Are some kind of mental health expert or psychologist?

You haven't even seen what I look or what my voice sounds like. 

Furthermore, I've already been to therapy and been on psych meds for most of my life.

I've already looked into both Owen's and Julien's vids and they still didn't cut it for me.

I've also tried many different kinds of seduction techniques from many of the best dating and seduction gurus out there and already hundreds and hundreds of girls in all different kinds of places for years.

Also, how do you explain how many guys in high school and college who are ugly or homely and have never been all that cool been able to easily hook up with and dating girls in school? Surely almost all of them didn't use any seduction techniques from a pickup/dating expert because the vast majority of men out there in general, don't.

Why do you think I've gotten so demoralized? How would you feel about your self-esteem and hopes for success with women in general if you were me?

I really don't see how fixing a couple of issues with my game is going to take my game to next level from a realistic/practical standpoint. 

 

 

Edited December 31, 2022 by Hardkill

[Roy]

I'm not sure if I'm having a stroke or something reading this. The thread title is why isn't it easier to date girls from school, then within your post you say you have no problems getting numbers from girls at school in class?

Which is it?

[Hardkill]

11 minutes ago, Roy said:

I'm not sure if I'm having a stroke or something reading this. The thread title is why isn't it easier to date girls from school, then within your post you say you have no problems getting numbers from girls at school in class?

Which is it?

Well, I can get a lot numbers from girls at school in general, but even then I've been struggling to turn those numbers into dates and lays or what have you. I only got one girl from my class to go out, but she didn't seem all that into me sexually/romantically on the date.

I am also still dumbfounded why many of the girls I've talked to who have given me strong indicators of interest didn't either want to give me their phone number or hangout with me.

Edited December 31, 2022 by Hardkill

[Roy]

38 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

I am also still dumbfounded why many of the girls I've talked to who have given me strong indicators of interest didn't either want to give me their phone number or hangout with me.

Two things; It's possible you aren't interpreting their indicators correctly. There might just be nothing there when you think there is, or you're exaggerating something small to mean something bigger. I'd have to be there to see, I don't know what your experiences look like.

Also girls/women in general can be pleasant and friendly, it's in their nature to show those traits, even if there is zero romantic interest. It's coded into their survival strategy. Females survive in the world mostly through social networking and being good with people, while males survive because of skill/ability with things.

Edited December 31, 2022 by Roy

[Hardkill]

45 minutes ago, Roy said:

Two things; It's possible you aren't interpreting their indicators correctly. There might just be nothing there when you think there is, or you're exaggerating something small to mean something bigger. I'd have to be there to see, I don't know what your experiences look like.

Also girls/women in general can be pleasant and friendly, it's in their nature to show those traits, even if there is zero romantic interest. It's coded into their survival strategy. Females survive in the world mostly through social networking and being good with people, while males survive because of skill/ability with things.

Okay, those are fair points.

Although, one thing that's supposed to be a key to success with women is that a man must always assume that a girl/woman is attracted to her to the point of being delusional. Of course, I get that if after you ask her out or ask for her contact she has made it very clear that her answer is no in some way or form then the guy has to respect that and then move on.

The point is that I thought I was supposed to always have confidence, whereby I always believe in my mind that the girl/woman I just met or just got to know is attracted to me. Women get turned on by a guy who presents himself with an attitude like that. Furthermore, I strongly believe that I have a number of attractive qualities both physically and personality wise. Therefore, I gotta believe that I do have sex appeal or that I am sex appeal. 

Edited December 31, 2022 by Hardkill

[RendHeaven]

2 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Once again, guys like you are just making blanket statements that are very unfair.

Unhealed trauma from what? Are some kind of mental health expert or psychologist?

You haven't even seen what I look or what my voice sounds like. 

Furthermore, I've already been to therapy and been on psych meds for most of my life.

I've already looked into both Owen's and Julien's vids and they still didn't cut it for me.

I've also tried many different kinds of seduction techniques from many of the best dating and seduction gurus out there and already hundreds and hundreds of girls in all different kinds of places for years.

Also, how do you explain how many guys in high school and college who are ugly or homely and have never been all that cool been able to easily hook up with and dating girls in school? Surely almost all of them didn't use any seduction techniques from a pickup/dating expert because the vast majority of men out there in general, don't.

Why do you think I've gotten so demoralized? How would you feel about your self-esteem and hopes for success with women in general if you were me?

I really don't see how fixing a couple of issues with my game is going to take my game to next level from a realistic/practical standpoint. 

Too defensive. If you are ever in disagreement, laugh it off and move on.