i want to kill myself , i'm tired of this miserable life

[Ramzi08]

Hello Everyone ,

       My story is that of a 22 years old man , who had enough of his miserable and mediocre life .

   My problem is that of a young man who consider his  self to be at stage Green/Yellow ( Late Green , Early Yellow ) living in a fucking third world country .

 I feel tired and miserable of  being   lonely all the time   and not being able to live intense and meagninful relationships . It's been many years that i don't have any friend or girlfriend with whom i'll be able to share memories , experiences , victories and even hard times . Folks with whom i can simply FEEL ALIVE . Everyday , i literaly force myself to talk with people with whom i don't share any value or  principle because we're not at the same stage of ego development.  

I feel tired of not being able to implement my life purpose and not being able to  have my little contribution in the development of human kind .

I FEEL BETRAYED BY MY LAZY  GENES THAT DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WORK ETHIC TO WORK 16H PER DAY IN ORDER to develop  my skills , to make money and to leave this country .

 It's just fucking hard to be wasting your youth and your hole life and not being able to do anything about it . Deep down in my heart i know that there's more to life i shoud be experciencing right know . but i simply  can't ,  and i probably will never be able to do it .

 

[Majed]

@Ramzi08 find a way to quit your country, and yeah find people like you in your country, just socialize more maybe start pick up. i don't know your situation but there's a way out certainly, do more research, open your mind to new possibilities etc... 

this video will help you 

[Devin]

52 minutes ago, Ramzi08 said:

Hello Everyone ,

       My story is that of a 22 years old man , who had enough of his miserable and mediocre life .

   My problem is that of a young man who consider his  self to be at stage Green/Yellow ( Late Green , Early Yellow ) living in a fucking third world country .

 I feel tired and miserable of  being   lonely all the time   and not being able to live intense and meagninful relationships . It's been many years that i don't have any friend or girlfriend with whom i'll be able to share memories , experiences , victories and even hard times . Folks with whom i can simply FEEL ALIVE . Everyday , i literaly force myself to talk with people with whom i don't share any value or  principle because we're not at the same stage of ego development.  

I feel tired of not being able to implement my life purpose and not being able to  have my little contribution in the development of human kind .

I FEEL BETRAYED BY MY LAZY  GENES THAT DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WORK ETHIC TO WORK 16H PER DAY IN ORDER to develop  my skills , to make money and to leave this country .

 It's just fucking hard to be wasting your youth and your hole life and not being able to do anything about it . Deep down in my heart i know that there's more to life i shoud be experciencing right know . but i simply  can't ,  and i probably will never be able to do it .

 

@Ramzi08 You can enjoy, you can experience joy right now, all the time, you need no different or particular circumstances. You can experience total love, complete fulfillment, complete acceptance, you can experience being a positive difference in the world, you need no other circumstances or skills.

Is there anything, anything at all you can do right now that you enjoy? Watching the sky, the stars, the water, nature, clouds, drinking a nice glass of water, doing some yoga, just laying out under the sun, eating an orange, a walk through nature, exercising, sleeping......?

[Leo Gura]

What country you from?

[Ramzi08]

@Majed i already watched  all of Leo's videos on the importance of taking actions and to stop blaming circumstances . I already did that. But like I said before, i felt betrayed by my laziness and it's so fucking difficult to change yourself.

[Ramzi08]

@Devin For me , this is complete demagogy. I'm a young man with a lot of energy, i want to experience intensive emotions, to dare mighty things , even though checkered by failure rather than  simply enjoying " nature and water "

maybe I'll do that once I satisfy my primary desires

Edited December 27, 2022 by Ramzi08

[Ramzi08]

@Leo Gura 

 

i live in Algeria.

I watched your videos on escaping wage slavery, and your two parts " life advice for young people" and many others  . Those videos are definitely life transforming for those of us who are willing to take action. But I  feel demotivated by my mediocre environment, and betrayed by my lazy genes . 

Every time I try to take massive action, my body just doesn't follow.

I've really tried to take action, I've really tried...

Edited December 28, 2022 by Ramzi08

[Vrubel]

@Ramzi08

Lazy genes!? Never heard greater bullshit in my life. Each of your ancestors since the literal beginning of time worked his ass off just to survive and make your existence possible. 
You have some serious limiting beliefs, the thing about those beliefs is that they seem like solid reality. Those beliefs are illusionary bullshit, every young person (and you are really young) learns work ethic and discipline. Life forces you into it. Life is about getting stronger. The weakest mold themselves into the strongest.

You're only 22 and claim to be green-yellow? focus on blue and orange. Have a deep respect for the qualities of these stages.
 

Edited December 28, 2022 by Vrubel

[Majed]

@Ramzi08 well you don't need massive actions from the start, at first start installing small habits, i don't know if you work, but let's say you work 8 hours a day, you can work 1 hour a day on your life purpose, nobody expect from you to work 16 hours a day, it's just unrealistic, that's not because of lazy genes, that's just being human.  i don't really understand your problem, if it's human relationships then start going out and hitting on women, there are certainly night clubs and malls, etc.. in algeria. if it is life purpose and money then work on that slowly but surely. 

[StarStruck]

Laziness because of genes? That is bollocks mate. You can active and deactivate genes. 

Just because you can’t shift from working 2 hours per day to 16 per day doesn’t mean you have lazy genes. It just means you are being an arse to yourself and forget you are a human, not a machine.

I think you are stuck at red-blue because orange has this shit down. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by StarStruck

[Devin]

37 minutes ago, Ramzi08 said:

@Devin For me , this is complete demagogy. I'm a young man with a lot energy, i want to experience intensive emotions, to dare mighty things , even though checkered by failure rather than  simply enjoying " nature and water "

maybe I'll do that once I satisfy my primary desires

Those weren't suggestions, it was a question. Yeah you're following fallacies, no matter your circumstances if you follow those you will feel empty and miserable. You need nothing more than you have to experience every "intensive emotion or dare mighty things".

Edited December 28, 2022 by Devin

[Extreme Z7]

@Ramzi08 Dude, I'm like in the same situation as you.

I'm from a third world country and I resent my uncreative and mediocre peers.
I don't know how Algeria compares to the Philippines but still...

But I don't get this feeling of demotivation just because of that.
If anything, I'm way too motivated to the point that I tend to burn myself out.

Unless your external circumstances are deliberately conspiring to keep you stuck where you are, why all this unecessary frustration and talking about taking your own life.

The only thing that seems to be different with me is that I tend to be very comfortable being alone.
What is THIS nonsense?

2 hours ago, Ramzi08 said:

Everyday , i literaly force myself to talk with people with whom i don't share any value or  principle because we're not at the same stage of ego development.  

What? why? Why are you deliberately wasting your time with people you clearly don't like? Just find out what you love to do and focus on that. Seeking socialization for the sake of it is largely a distraction when it comes to Life Purpose. Besides, get enough fame and success from your work and you could earn the luxury of being able to hang out with anyone you like and choose to be with.

[Ramzi08]

 

 

 

@Vrubel if we follow blindly your reasoning , we would assume that everyone of us is capable of working 16h per day to achieve his dream life . this is complete BS. I've tried to discipline my self but it doesn't work, unfortunately. and yeah, i resonate with green and yellow, what does it have to do with my age ?

[Blackhawk]

31 minutes ago, Vrubel said:

@Ramzi08

Lazy genes!? Never heard greater bullshit in my life. Each of your ancestors since the literal beginning of time worked his ass off just to survive and make your existence possible. 
You have some serious limiting beliefs, the thing about those beliefs is that they seem like solid reality. Those beliefs are illusionary bullshit, every young person (and you are really young) learns work ethic and discipline. Life forces you into it. Life is about getting stronger. The weakest mold themselves into the strongest.

You're only 22 and claim to be green-yellow? focus on blue and orange. Have a deep respect for the qualities of these stages.

Some people are born lazy. Or became lazy from the upbringing.

I'm like that too.

Or maybe "less energetic" would be a better word for it, if you get triggered by the word "lazy".

Edited December 28, 2022 by Blackhawk

[Ramzi08]

@Majed this is exactly the problem, not being able to start working hard and developing the skills needed in order to avoid becoming a wage slave ( because I'm still in uni ) is so depressing. One hour a day is a joke when I see other people working non stop .

And regarding women and friendships , believe me bro, it's not easy at all to find someone at stage green in a country where 95 of its population is still in stage blue .

 

[Ramzi08]

@Blackhawk i couldn't agree more . Bravo 

[Ramzi08]

@Extreme Z7

Well , first of all , I'd like to say that my circumstances don't deliberately bother me , but i really feel stuck and clueless  on how to escape my current situation. 

I'm not energetic enough to work hard , to fight my victim mentality and to change my situation, this is why I feel demotivated.

Regarding relationships :

I'm an extroverted kinda guy who really enjoy meeting new interesting people . Unfortunately, i live in country where the odds are against you to meet like minded people.

[Roy]

I wouldn't get too caught up in stages of spiral dynamics, it's just a rough guideline to give you an idea of values and behaviors on a mass scale. Your place on the scale doesn't have a meaningful bearing on how actually developed you are. To be frank you might have green/yellow values and worldviews, but can severely lack the capacities and resources to act out those values. Hence why you need to think about each stage carefully how it relates to your own life, and how to fulfill it (without skipping anything).

3 hours ago, Ramzi08 said:

living in a fucking third world country .

Is Algeria that bad? I know there is corruption and colonial history, but it's a North African nation in proximity to Europe. Are there not wealthy cities on the coast with decent economies/jobs?

3 hours ago, Ramzi08 said:

I feel tired of not being able to implement my life purpose and not being able to  have my little contribution in the development of human kind .

Implementing a life purpose takes a LONG time to manifest and make a practical reality. You are very young, so don't think you have to be acting it out immediately. Depending on what you want to do it can take many years of work. You have to enjoy the process, and also find things in the meantime that are related and can satisfy you.

Are there no places you can volunteer or work that feel like you're contributing to your community and mankind? Mosques? Kitchens/shelters?

Even in remote, poorer areas there are places you can seek meaningful work and meet healthy developed people.

[Vrubel]

14 minutes ago, Ramzi08 said:

@Vrubel if we follow blindly your reasoning , we would assume that everyone of us is capable of working 16h per day to achieve his dream life . this is complete BS. I've tried to discipline my self but it doesn't work, unfortunately.

That's not what I said. It's not about the hours per day. Think more broadly, complexly and with vision
 

 

19 minutes ago, Ramzi08 said:

I've tried to discipline my self but it doesn't work, unfortunately.

I understand it's very hard to do so without outside responsibility. That's why you have no choice but to develop vision and immense inner strength. 
 

 

18 minutes ago, Ramzi08 said:

I resonate with green and yellow, what does it have to do with my age ?

Yellow is very intellectual. But it doesn't seem you are applying that to managing your life or having a worldview/philosophy you can draw comfort and satisfaction from. Why are your thoughts so painful? because they aren't true!

Also green at a young age is often just a philosophical justification for your weakness and why you are a such special snowflake. From your original post, I did get that you have a lot of pent-up masculine energy, Good! Use that and take some (smart) risks.

[Ramzi08]

@StarStruck

your understanding of spiral dynamics is very limited and caricatural. 

Someone who's trying to develop his work ethic, is not necessarily a person who's stuck at stage blue and  trying to move to orange. 

Spiral dynamics is about consciousness and values, not about personal traits and work ethic