The regret of wasted time

[LiberatedMonkey]

When I started college back in 2019 I was progressing slowly but surely in my self-help journey by meditating, reading, taking life-purpose courses little by little, and taking attempts at chatting up college girls. First-year was going great until the pandemic hit and there was a shift to online classes. I was in complete isolation in my parent's house with just the task of doing school work. It only took a semester or two after the lockdown to fall off track of my self-actualization journey because I felt soo isolated and online classes were so easy to procrastinate on. For about two to 3 years (late 2020 until 2022) I tried keeping my habits going but discipline was non-existent. I might have read several books, tried to eat healthily, and attempt to finish the life purpose course over that timeline. However, nothing was sticking because something would throw me off like one of my family members getting covid and tending to them.

I spent a lot of my time trying to do things to make things fun for myself during these times of the pandemic like going fishing, learning new recipes, and working on cars/motorcycles.

I also did a fair share of wasteful activities like Youtube, Netflix, Facebook, and video games.

Fast forward to now, I just finished my first semester physically back in school and had some time during this winter break to work on myself. Once I took a good look at the progress I've made in personal development/setting my foundation over the college pandemic years I realized I didn't make the progress I wanted to make.

Now I am filled with regret about having wasted so much time and I'm dwelling over the past wishing I could snap myself out of that lazy sleep to tell myself what I know now. I have a newfound deep sense of desire and motivation now to work on myself as a result of regret.

I'm back on track now better than before, but I'm finding it extremely painful to do anything personal development related because I just think back to how I could have done it a lot sooner. I feel old at 21 not having made the progress I wanted in PD, and still have my "v card".  Also, I have 1 1/2 years left in my 5-year university degree and getting close to reaching the real world. My degree is in computer science and I have ambitions to become a sort of self-help/spiritual guru that I found through the LP course.

I've gone through the process of learning from my experience/regret and trying to move forward, but I just keep coming back to dwell on the past.

Could I get some advice to deal with this situation?

Edited December 24, 2022 by LiberatedMonkey

[ThermalTide]

You are quite young, first of all. Not behind in any sense of the word. For me, I consider everything that has happened as part of the learning and growing process. Your mind is just painting this period of time as negative, but it's not really. The last 2 years have been hard on everyone in one way or another. You can view these as set backs, or just accept that the world is going through some weirdness and so are you! It's okay to allow your path to go where you do not expect or necessarily want it to go. This is normal. It sounds like you are doing well currently as far as personal development and self discipline goes. Just breathe man! I think you're creating a problem that simply isn't there. 

[Eyowey]

Speed up your development to make up for the lost time. You can do in one day what most people do in one year.

[integration journey]

You are young. Those feelings are normal 

[LiberatedMonkey]

I've read everyone's posts and I thank you all for the advice. I do realize the pandemic was an abnormal situation, and while the thought of not growing much in the past years is taking a toll on my mental health, i will try to move on to do the things on my bucket list. 

[Leo Gura]

On 12/24/2022 at 5:37 AM, LiberatedMonkey said:

I have ambitions to become a sort of self-help/spiritual guru that I found through the LP course.

Be careful with that. The point of the LP course was for you to find your LP, not copy my LP.

[LiberatedMonkey]

@Leo Gura

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Be careful with that. The point of the LP course was for you to find your LP, not copy my LP.

I was afraid I was when coming up with my LP, but my values surround understanding, self-actualization, and spirituality. Therefore, the most meaningful thing that could think of was to make people more aware of these areas of life through an online medium.

If you don't mind, could you give me an opinion/advice on my situation up above? I have been getting depressed and losing sleep over it and would love to get a response from you. I'm not sure if I'm overthinking the situation, terrified that I won't be able to set a good foundation or if I'm still okay. My anxiety is killing me right now with me thinking my life's potential is done for.

Edited December 26, 2022 by LiberatedMonkey
grammar

[Shawn Philips]

You're super young, feeling regrets of wasted time is absurd, you have an entire lifetime!

I wasted my youth playing vidyas and being a introverted nerd. Now I'm a 40yo creepy dude that cannot attract young girls and I missed what is to have a teenage love story and cannot do anything about it.

But you can do everything if you're in school/highschool years!

[Thought Art]

Read Scroll 5 of the Greatest Salesman in The World

 

Edited December 26, 2022 by Thought Art

[Leo Gura]

@LiberatedMonkey Stop beating yourself up and just focus on your goals going. What else is there to say.

Now you should be more motivated to not waste time. But stop guilting yourself about it.

Edited December 26, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Vladimir]

On 12/24/2022 at 5:37 AM, LiberatedMonkey said:

Now I am filled with regret about having wasted so much time and I'm dwelling over the past wishing I could snap myself out of that lazy sleep to tell myself what I know now.

Nobody has ever wasted a single moment, everything is absolutely filled with purpose and meaning. Move towards appreciating and loving yourself for the time when your body and mind were asking for rest.

[Razard86]

12 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

You're super young, feeling regrets of wasted time is absurd, you have an entire lifetime!

I wasted my youth playing vidyas and being a introverted nerd. Now I'm a 40yo creepy dude that cannot attract young girls and I missed what is to have a teenage love story and cannot do anything about it.

But you can do everything if you're in school/highschool years!

Why, why must yall beat yall selves up so much!! WHYY!!!!!! Seriously man, you are not a 40 year old creep, that is an identity you have taken on, and you have sentenced yourself to hell with that one!!! Shawn you are 40 years old!!! You should at least by now have recognized identity and construct awareness by now!!! Free yourself from this identity and take on one that can be more enjoyable.

Also you can learn how to pick up women at any age if that is your desire. PM me and I can point you to some resources if you are interested. Other than that please, please speak more highly of yourself man.

[Space]

@LiberatedMonkey Omg you're 21, jesus. Try being in this position when you're 30 or 40. Stop worrying so much.

[StarStruck]

In strength is weakness and in weakness is strength. Use this energy of loss and mistakes as fuel to powerboat yourself out of your situation. All you need to do is find the ignition.

[AndylizedAAY]

22 hours ago, StarStruck said:

In strength is weakness and in weakness is strength. Use this energy of loss and mistakes as fuel to powerboat yourself out of your situation. All you need to do is find the ignition.

@StarStruck I don't think I can rely on that, even right at this very moment because of how predictable I am to myself. I'm probably still "moving forward" based on your method but it's really inefficient and would like to find a better one. Maybe you would just tell me to "just do it" which is too vague. Do you think that what I need is clarity? I don't really think that this is a fair question but I'm not so sure on that which is probably a sign that I need it.