My first "drug" experience: Full blown insanity

[HereNow]

So hello guys, I have experienced this trip on September 8th 2022, so about three monthes ago. Today I just felt the urge to share my experience, so that maybe people can relate to it or can give me an advice, what the hell I experienced there. So anyways here we go: Side note: Im 26 years old, male, living in Germany, currently still a student, have had a relatively normal upbringing and never really struggeled seriously with mental health issues, just some OCD, little depression here and here, but nothing that serious. In my entire life up to this point, except the trip I had three monthes ago, I literally had zero drug experience in my life. I only had a few sips of beer and a bit of coffee (last time I drank coffe is six years ago). So my brain is completely fresh and totally sober. The substance I took/smoked was weed. All the people I know who smoked weed had a fun and chill time and were just enjoying the experience. And weed is officially not a psychedelic and not something dangerous to be afraid of. I waited till 26 because I wanted to be on the safer side so that my brain is almost fully developed. I never ever read anywhere that you can experience hell and insanity on just weed, its really crazy. Anyways, on the trip day I was feeling pretty good, was in a good mood, felt mentally stable and me and two other friends find ourselves a nice spot in nature to have a chill time, listen to some music, eat something and talk a bit. The weed I got from another friend, and he said that it was pretty solid stuff. He said that there are two types of weed mixed with eachother in the bag he sold me. So we found a nice spot and my friend built a nice long joint. We sat on a tree somewhere in the forest, so that nobody could see us. And then the trip started: I was the first one and I dont know why, but I really took many long puffs right from the start, I think it was 3 long puffs. Then the other two friends smoked and it was my turn again. I took two more long puffs. The other friends again and me again with one or two puffs. Then we waited a bit. I started to feel a bit anxious, but nothing serious. My heart started to beat very fast. Then out of nowhere I lost all colour vision and saw a white light. I had a very loud buzzing in my ear and all I could see was gray. I tried to stay calm and thought to myself that this was just the come up and that it would go away in a minute. And after 2-3 minutes the colour vision came back, the tinnitus went away and my heart beat got back to normal. I tried to force nothing and let the experience happen. I waited and tried to enjoy the music. My two other friends were already stoned and talked to eachother. What happend then is very difficult for me to put into words: After a few more minutes I got into a consciousness-state that really felt like insanity. I didnt have any hallucinations, I saw everything for what it was, but I entered another reality, my consciousness shifted and I felt trapped. I felt so trapped and it was the weirdest and most terrifying thing I experienced in my entire life. All the nightmares I had were nothing compared to this state I was in. In this moment I was 100% sure that this is pure insanity, pure nightmare, pure hell. I completely lost the sense of time and I lost all orientation. My ego-consciousness melted into a state of pure imprisonment, chaos and desorientation. Past, Now and future merged into one and I didnt feel myself anymore, it was as if I could watch myself from another perspective, but I was still trapped. I walked around all the time, scratching my head and making movements and speaking things that didnt make any sense. I felt like a crazy person and I was 100% sure that this will never go away. I was sure that I will go straight to the lunatic asylum. I said goodbye to the normal life and prepared to live there my entire life. And during this phase of the trip I thought to myself many times that suicide was the only thing that can bring me out of this hell-state and I never think about suicide in my normal state, never considered it, never. Its really difficult to put into words what kind of state it was. I was in an entire different reality. It felt like infinite imprisonment. My other two friends were enjoying their trip and were talking to eachother the entire time. I tried to hide my experience as good as I could. We started to walk out of the forest and I felt like Im in a labyrinth. I also lost my sense of distance and couldnt tell, if things were 100 m behind me or 500 m. We walked around and slowly this state started to go away. (by the way, the whole time I was praying to God to make this stop and I sweared to myself that if I get out of this I will never ever take any drugs in my entire life again) After 4 hours, I was still 30 percent in that state. We all went to our homes and I immediatly went to bed. The next day, there was about 5% of this state still left. And two days after the trip I was fully back to normal. I was so relieved that it went all away and that I was back to normal. Im also glad that it didnt traumatized me, but it really had the potential to do so.

 

Anyways, for the next time I stay away from any kind of substance, and maybe for the rest of my life because I really dont want to experience this insantiy again and maybe the next time I wont come out of it and be stuck in it permanently. 

 

Thanks for reading and wish you all a good day  Peace

[Recursoinominado]

20 minutes ago, HereNow said:

The weed I got from another friend, and he said that it was pretty solid stuff. He said that there are two types of weed mixed with eachother in the bag he sold me. I was the first one and I dont know why, but I really took many long puffs right from the start, I think it was 3 long puffs. Then the other two friends smoked and it was my turn again. I took two more long puffs. The other friends again and me again with one or two puffs.

That's where you fucked up. NEVER smoke that much if aren't absolutely sure about the strenght of what you are consuming. There are a lot of strands and some a pretty strong. Someone who is addicted and smokes everyday might need those strong ones to feel something but if you are a noob, you will be in trouble.

Pro tip: when in doubt, take one average puff and pass on the joint, observe the effects, avaluate the strength and maybe one more if you are ok and so on.

Test the waters, NEVER go along with the group, don't ever be embarassed of saying "no, i am good".

The fact that you handled the bad trip without your friends knowing about is a good sign, most people would be freaking out.

But let this be a warn to be wiser next time and have RESPECT for the substance.

[Yimpa]

Yep, I’ve had some gnarly experiences on weed as well.

The good news is you learn to handle those wonky experiences and love it even more. 

[eggopm3]

I think most people could have a positive experience on weed their first time if they only had a little bit. Just ONE hit of weed for most newbies is probably equal or greater to an entire joint or more for a regular user. But most people don't know what they're getting into and end up in over their head. 

My first experience (when I was drug naive except for alcohol) the entire world turned the color red, everything went slo-mo, got tinnitus, and a head rush so intense that I passed out from a standing position. I was lucky I didnt hit my head on something. After that I was much more careful.

[Yimpa]

Just now, eggopm3 said:

and a head rush so intense that I passed out from a standing position. I was lucky I didnt hit my head on something.

Lmao, I slowly laid myself into a fetal position… both in awe and disbelief. 

[Leo Gura]

Welcome to Consciousness work!

Relax, settle in, enjoy the ride. You will acclimate.

All this means is that you are sensitive to psychedelics and perfect for them! Just dial back your dose.

Edited December 22, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Vincent S]

Yeah you did the same mistake I did ??

Good news is, you can use psychedelics to understand the Insanity you experienced on that weed trip. 

I came back from a psychedelics retreat two years ago with great 5MEO experience, great Ayahuasca and San Pedro experiences. But two weeks later had an extreme experience of the void on weed that put me in an insane state of mind of being stuck in the void forever.

Few months later I entered the same state on LSD. This time I didn’t panic and the void wasn’t anything else than pure formlessness, peace and Infinite Love.

When we experience something profound and grand, it’s really hard not to project all our fears and worst imaginations on to the the experience; which is just showing us some deep truths about ourselves. 
And when we have a few of those Insanity trips; we become more open and prepared for future shifts.

What I’m trying to say is that even though you experienced Insanity and the trip was a nasty and narly experience; doesn’t mean that it was a bad thing that happened to you. In fact it was necessary to set you up and to open you up to understanding such states better in the future.

But all in all good job with not panicking and keeping your cool. Respect! 

 

[Yimpa]

8 hours ago, Vincent S said:

What I’m trying to say is that even though you experienced Insanity and the trip was a nasty and narly experience; doesn’t mean that it was a bad thing that happened to you. In fact it was necessary to set you up and to open you up to understanding such states better in the future.

100% agree with this. My very first trip was so intense that I’m surprised I didn’t ban psychoactive drugs from my life after that. 

[integral]

Weed is not good in high dosages for beginners, id go with anything else. 

[Pudgey]

GOOD JOB!

This is a must to happen for you to learn a unique lesson: 

UTTERLY RESPECT PSYCHEDELICS/SPIRITUAL DRUGS. 

You didn't fuck up, but following the right path. 

It happened to me - 

[Yimpa]

On 12/22/2022 at 1:42 PM, integral said:

Weed is not good in high dosages for beginners, id go with anything else. 

Facts. 

It’s like the kids say, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time”… except, you realize there is no time