Don't take advice from unhappy people

[Someone here]

I love and respect all people. However, in this human form, time, energy, money, and resources are very limited, so...
I don't take weight loss advice from morbidly obese people.
I don't take financial advice from financially poor people.
And I don't take any advice from unhappy people.


By unhappy people, I mean those who lack what I call "inner peace", meaning the consistent contentment of spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline).

Some people might call it "nirvana" or "the consistent joy of enlightenment". Some might just call it "true happiness". Some might just call it plain old happiness.

As a human writing to you right now, I consider myself to be someone who does consistently enjoy the true happiness and consistent contentment of free-spirited inner peace. In short, I consider myself to be happy, truly happy. As such, if you want advice from a happy person, here's my advice to you (offered politely for you to take or leave as you see fit): Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

That doesn't mean blindly do the opposite of what they advise either. Or  to blindly do the opposite of what one commands makes you just as much a slave to the commands. Rather, I simply suggest you disregard unhappy people's advice entirely, as much as reasonably possible.

You might ask ..what it takes to be happy?  And how did I achieve this happiness.?

Well..I first got rid of my past trauma and anxiety by seeing a psychiatrist who gave me the appropriate medications for my condition. So after a year of taking these medications (which I talked about here ):

I'm now completely free from anxiety and panic attacks .

Then I put an end to all my bad habits..I stopped smoking completely..I stopped looking at porn and wanking my Johnson completely..I stopped drinking Soda and eating Nutella and Ice-cream completely.  The only addiction I have left is my addiction to this forum .which I'm working on at the moment..so you gonna see me less active and posting a lot less over the next year .

I built healthy habits ..now I meditate one hour every day ..using a technique that I myself invented it.  I talked about it here :

I got into lifting weights recently. I do 100 push ups everyday .and in a matter of 90 days I expect I will get jacked . Without going to the gym. All in the home .

And finally I want to emphasise that your happiness and well being are the only things that matter in life in my opinion. It's even more important than enlightenment or finding the absolute truth of existence.  Because even when you are seeking truth you are actually seeking happiness without being aware of of it . You seek the happiness that will dawn to you when you finally figure reality out . But you can go directly to happiness and fulfilment and fill your life with peace and joy . You just have to stop being lazy and work your booty off a little bit to make life an amazing experience. 

 

[LastThursday]

You're right in that it's definitely a good rule of thumb that a person is "congruent" when dishing out advice. How can an unhappy person truly give good advice on being happy?

On the other hand. Even hypocrites can give good advice. I'd say it's incumbent on you to have good filters when being given advice and you can only do that by experience and prior knowledge. It's often better to listen to the message than the messenger. After all, maybe an unhappy person has worked on and studied happiness more deeply than a happy person. From what I can tell Eckhart Tolle was a deeply unhappy person before his enlightenment and teaching.

[Someone here]

21 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

After all, maybe an unhappy person has worked on and studied happiness more deeply than a happy person. From what I can tell Eckhart Tolle was a deeply unhappy person before his enlightenment and teaching.

They certainly can, it might not be the most useful advice though!

Often people (like me!) have been very unhappy and sought out supposed experts on happiness and have done a lot of work and research in order to learn how to and to become happy.

I’m not always happy, but I am much happier than I was a few years ago or even a few months ago.

Usually the happiest people tend to have the simplest advice I’ve noticed. Because happiness is quite simple. It’s a choice you and I can make at any moment. It might take a progression of choices for some, yet many of us can instantly drop the baggage of misery we carry around with us and embrace the joy of life and fall back in love with ourselves.

Which do you choose? Happiness is a chosen state of mind, one that stops buying into negative stories about you and about life. Generally, the less you’re thinking and the more you’re in flow with life the happier you are .

Yes ,Tolle was suicidal before his enlightenment and before he found inner peace.  Its called the dark night of the soul . Usually you must go really really down before you rise really really up . And that's the case with him . I definitely been there (depressed ,suicidal,anxiety etc ). But I'm finally healed completely and I'm now happy and satisfied with my life. 

[zurew]

If you don't have time or a way to do proper research on the ideas a person gives you in a field that he/she hasn't embodied, then yeah, you can use your rule to filter out people, however if you have time and if you have a good way to do research, then you shouldn't trash people just because they haven't fully embodied the things they are saying.

I think the number 1 way you should judge a teacher or a coach is by looking at how successful their students . If most of his/her students are successful, then that says a lot about the coach/teacher, and that coach/teacher must have some level of system thinking and also a good amount of knowledge in the field he/she teaches.

Also,there are a thousand things that can overlap, if you are good at something you can have some useful and good things to say about things that are related to the thing that you embodied. Also the other thing you need to understand that just because someone embodied something that won't guarantee that he /she will be good at teaching it. Being a good teacher is not exclusive to embodiedness.

The easiest way to demonstrate why its not good to always rule out people who haven't embodied the things they preach and teach about is coaching, more specifically sport coaching. You can be a number 1 box or football or weightlifting coach without any need to do competition in any of those sports.

Edited December 21, 2022 by zurew

[AtheisticNonduality]

I take advice from experienced, intelligent, wise people, whether or not they're happy.

[Carl-Richard]

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

You might ask ..what it takes to be happy?  And how did I achieve this happiness.?

Well..I first got rid of my past trauma and anxiety by seeing a psychiatrist who gave me the appropriate medications for my condition. So after a year of taking these medications (which I talked about here ):

I'm now completely free from anxiety and panic attacks .

Then I put an end to all my bad habits..I stopped smoking completely..I stopped looking at porn and wanking my Johnson completely..I stopped drinking Soda and eating Nutella and Ice-cream completely.  The only addiction I have left is my addiction to this forum .which I'm working on at the moment..so you gonna see me less active and posting a lot less over the next year .

I built healthy habits ..now I meditate one hour every day ..using a technique that I myself invented it.  I talked about it here :

I got into lifting weights recently. I do 100 push ups everyday .and in a matter of 90 days I expect I will get jacked . Without going to the gym. All in the home .

Is it happiness or is it health?

[Gesundheit2]

No happy person would give an advice.

[LfcCharlie4]

@Carl-Richard I'd say there's often an overlap between the two for sure. 

Biologically, Emotionally, Physically, Spiritually etc...

[Carl-Richard]

5 minutes ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

@Carl-Richard I'd say there's often an overlap between the two for sure. 

Biologically, Emotionally, Physically, Spiritually etc...

They do, but you can aim for (and experience) happiness in many different ways which are not healthy. If @Someone here is against that, he is actually aiming for health over happiness. In every example he gave, he mentioned health.

Edited December 21, 2022 by Carl-Richard

[Someone here]

20 minutes ago, zurew said:

If you don't have time or a way to do proper research on the ideas a person gives you in a field that he/she hasn't embodied, then yeah, you can use your rule to filter out people, however if you have time and if you have a good way to do research, then you shouldn't trash people just because they haven't fully embodied the things they are saying.

I think the number 1 way you should judge a teacher or a coach is by looking at how successful their students . If most of his/her students are successful, then that says a lot about the coach/teacher, and that coach/teacher must have some level of system thinking and also a good amount of knowledge in the fi

12 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

 

eld he/she teaches.

Also,there are a thousand things that can overlap, if you are good at something you can have some useful and good things to say about things that are related to the thing that you embodied. Also the other thing you need to understand that just because someone embodied something that won't guarantee that he /she will be good at teaching it. Being a good teacher is not exclusive to embodiedness.

The easiest way to demonstrate why its not good to always rule out people who haven't embodied the things they preach and teach about is coaching, more specifically sport coaching. You can be a number 1 box or football or weightlifting coach without any need to do competition in any of those sports.

Im struggling to understand how does this relate to my post.  But correct me if I'm wrong.

My mother's worst insult for someone was(they can dish it out), but they can't take it. I remember her saying it about mean people. My mom knew how to deal with bullies. She made a few cry in her day.

Talking the talk, but not walking the walk is a more soft insult. It's more of an entreaty, as in ,show me you mean what you're saying.

I have no problem with most who talk but do not walk. At least they have a good idea of what it would look like to walk the walk. We all have to start somewhere.

20 minutes ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

I take advice from experienced, intelligent, wise people, whether or not they're happy.

If you are truly wise then you can't be unhappy. Its foolish to be unhappy when it's 100% under your control .

19 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Is it happiness or is it health?

Both .

12 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

No happy person would give an advice.

"Lol okay "

[Carl-Richard]

On 21.12.2022 at 6:23 PM, Someone here said:

Both .

Happiness is a state. Health is a structure. In your search, you've been dealing with structures. The end result was not a state. It was a better structure.

People who say "all you want is happiness" are teenagers and heroin junkies. I suggest upgrading your existential vocabulary. Really

Examples of better words: health, vitality, functionality, intrinsic joy, integrity, virtue.

Edited December 23, 2022 by Carl-Richard

[Tyler Robinson]

6 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Happiness is a state. Health is a structure. In your search, you've been dealing with structures. The end result was not a state. It was a better structure.

The problem with people like you is that they endlessly talk about health and happiness and then go and join a cheap Discord server of rali. Kind of a downward curve. 

 

[AtheisticNonduality]

10 minutes ago, Someone here said:

If you are truly wise then you can't be unhappy. Its foolish to be unhappy when it's 100% under your control .

You don't see any value in negative emotions?

[Carl-Richard]

5 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

The problem with people like you is that they endlessly talk about health and happiness and then go and join a cheap Discord server of rali. Kind of a downward curve. 

That was before I learned all this, 5 years ago. It was a big part of the learning process.

Edited December 21, 2022 by Carl-Richard

[Someone here]

3 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Happiness is a state. Health is a structure. In your search, you've been dealing with structures. The end result was not a state. It was a better structure.

it is a two-way street. People with chronic conditions may struggle with overall happiness and joy in their lives from time to time, especially when their health is declining or when they’re in pain. On the other hand, if you’re unhappy, you’re less likely to do things that will benefit your health, such as workout or eat properly. This can lead to health problems and it becomes a vicious cycle.

 If you are sick, you probably aren’t happy. If you are hurt, you are probably not happy. If you are disabled, you probably aren’t as happy as if you were whole.

I can’t think of anything more obvious to say as being sound of body and mind is paramount to easier create the foundations for a state of happiness.

I do think  that happiness is a state of mind though. 

The end result from my "health revolution " was happiness . Don't negotiate me on this point please ?.  Because I know myself and what t I have achieved in life more than anyone else . That is ,I know myself and my emotions better than you do, right ?

 

[Gesundheit2]

13 minutes ago, Someone here said:

If you are truly wise then you can't be unhappy. Its foolish to be unhappy when it's 100% under your control .

It's not 100% in your control.

13 minutes ago, Someone here said:

"Lol okay "

Revenge: +30 points.

There are a lot of factors that contribute to the state of being happy. Material factors like safety and health for example are essential for happiness. And there are psychological factors as well.

Happiness is not a simple binary thing like a toggle switch, it's rather more like a spectrum.

How happy/unhappy are you? That's a better question than simply: Are you happy or unhappy? When people talk about happiness/unhappiness, they usually refer to the dominant state at the moment, even though for most people both states exist at the same time at any given moment. It's just that the amounts/percentages might differ at each estimation.

[Someone here]

12 minutes ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

You don't see any value in negative emotions?

I do . In fact I would say that happiness is born from the womb of suffering.  You must know what true suffering and misery are ( and false and pseudo-happiness is ). Before you get to know true happiness. 

[AtheisticNonduality]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

I do . In fact I would say that happiness is born from the womb of suffering.  You must know what true suffering and misery are ( and false and pseudo-happiness is ). Before you get to know true happiness. 

But, could you ever go back to negative emotions, to remember them just for fun?

[zurew]

23 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Im struggling to understand how does this relate to my post.  But correct me if I'm wrong.

I was just trying to point out, that the logic you were using (don't take advice from people, who haven't embodied the very thing they preach about) is not necessarily always a good approach, when it comes to taking advice or learning from someone. You were specifically focusing on happiness, but essentially that was the logic,that you were using.

[integral]

3 hours ago, Someone here said:

I don't take weight loss advice from morbidly obese people.
I don't take financial advice from financially poor people.
And I don't take any advice from unhappy people.

2 can play at that game. ?

I don't take advice about weight loss from skinny people with good genetics.

I don't take advice about money from rich people who inherited there fortune.

I don't take advice from happy people who had fantastic childhoods. 

Edited December 21, 2022 by integral