How To Become Confident And Love Myself

[Chrissy j]

I've had a problem my whole life. Low confidence. Caring what people think. All that jazz. I've become much more confident and loving toward myself but I think it is time to put a permanent stop and grow towards becoming confident. Purely confident. I know what I'm gonna do. Talk to people, read books, watch videos, apply all this info, date and get good with girls, find my life purpose, becoming positive, keep growing and figuring shit out, meditation and consciousness work, all that good shit. I'm gonna get authentic and love me. Get comfortable as me and stop basing my whole life off of others opinions. It's gonna take a lot of work but it has got to happen. It's just so deep rooted from my whole life of people pleasing, low confidence, shyness, and anxiety. Could i get anymore advice? What to do, suggestions, etc. And how to get a deep love of my self? One where I don't care what people think at all no matter what. A part of me is scared to open up because I've always had some bad anxiety(gotten rid of a lot with my personal development) and I judge myself about it and think about how people would judge me and it's just a bad loop. Anything helps. Thanks I love you all. You all give amazing insights and improve my life.

[Ajax]

Yes, just get really good at something. When I was a teen I was the same way so I decided to devote much of my energy to martial arts... The more I put into it the more confidence energy and motivation grew. 

Find something you like to do and really throw your weight behind it. All the confidence you will ever have depends on your ability to believe in yourself and where I mentioned is a  good place to start.

[Bronsoval]

Stop judging youself and others!  Check out leos video about judging others if you haven't already. Also look at the video about childhood vows.  You are Already awesome! Just let it show

Edited February 28, 2017 by Bronsoval

[Loreena]

Start telling yourself what you love about yourself. You really have to look in the mirror and be kind.Something that’s really difficult, but totally worth it, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the journey of becoming your true self.  The most beautiful part of this journey is simply returning to the peaceful feeling of being.  This peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be. Don't be a people pleaserr.Focus less on winning the approval of others. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.  And you don’t have to get permission to do it differently either.  Your time on this planet is precious.  As the saying goes“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.”  Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live.Distance yourself from those who bring you down. This is something that i I have been trying for such a llong time.being in no relationship is better than being in a wrong one.  Don’t worry too much about folks who don’t worry about you.  Know your worth When you give yourself to those who disrespect you, you lose.  Your friends in life should motivate, inspire and respect you.  Your circle should be well rounded and supportive.  Keep it tight.  Quality over quantity, always

Forgive yourself for what you think you did or didn't do...move away from the things that drain you and move toward the thoughts and activities that empower and fulfill you.

Show gratitude for who you are and what you have right now. Be grateful and write down things you're grateful for.

Do something every day that makes you happy. Life is too short.  Invest in the activities you deeply care about.    It’s a matter of realizing that there’s nothing selfish about self care.Believe in your abilities.

Loosen up and be a little less serious about it all. All self-misery has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in taking life too serioussly.  If you take everything too seriously, especially yourself, you’ll wind up fearing every new step you take.  Loosen up and laugh it off 

Enjoy your life

[MsNobody]

@see_on_see I think what you said about finding the life purpose is really true

Once connected with the flow and the higher purpose (that might be something you do for the world not only for yourself) we stop feeding the ego, and that whole thinking about giving love for the universe through your life purpose, that connection with the universe flow will bring your self love back

I was trapped in that same situation, I was being a poor me, a victim of my past, couldn't love myself, but once I started focusing on my life purpose, focusing on bettering myself for serving the world, I detached from the ego neediness 

[Nahm]

It's just a theory until you try it, but I think with excercise, meditation, healthy eating and at least one hobby that you can spend the rest of your life getting better at - we don't even think about the confidence issue. Ongoing learning is important too.

 

[SMS_Kelesis]

For the first time ever maybe half a year ago, I've noticed that I care much less about what others think, but this is based on how I am around all the people I know from a psych rehab group.  I'm still having to get out and meet people, rather than just go about my day.  But I'm questioning whether or not what I currently have is less self-esteem and more self-image based.  Reason being, I messed up a little and ended up crying in another room.  Now, steps in taking control of my self-esteem is really hard due to medical issues Chronic pain and fatigue that I'm working through.  However on my better days I'm making it a point to just say hello to random strangers.  Most of the time it's either met with indifference or more often just a hello back.  Baby steps.  I've learned exercises that I have yet put in place.  Like talking good about yourself in a mirror for 2 minutes a day.  A friend of mine online suggested writing notes (as he does) and stick them in various places in the house where you'd see them.  Reminders of how good you are of a person and various other reminders. For instance "People are just as flawed as you are.  They get insecure, too."  etc.  I put that into place.  

 

Now recently I sent this friend a song that just come out called "Heavy" by Linkin Park.  Some of the lyrics are "I'm holding on to what's bringing me down.  If I try to let it go, I'd be set free."  "There's comfort in the panic."  Things he identify with and so do many out there.  And He said some thing like I was "reading his heart." and how thoughtful I am and how he's glad to have met me.  Like that stuff really makes me uncomfortable to hear from my friends and barely anyone really tells me things like that and I know that that has to do with low self esteem.  I haven't really gotten myself to tell him that I appreciate that, but feel very uneasy about it.

[Bronsoval]

One of my favorite quotes that has helped me a lot: " You wouldn't care as much what people think of you if you realized how seldom they do."  Eleanor Roosevelt 

[SMS_Kelesis]

Wow. I really really need to keep that in mind. 

[Tuomas]

When you learn to love yourself forgiving yourself for your past is propably a crucial thing. The more burden you get off your back, the easier it is for you to move forward. If there are things about your past choices or your past self that you still beat yourself up about, you should try to understand why you made those choices. Looking back you might see these choices where caused a version of yourself that simply wasn´t as wise as the person you  are now, and also see how your environment or upbringing might have affected things. Therefore you didn´t know any better in the cirumstances you were in at that point and can forgive your past self. Also you can now do things better when similar situations arise.

[egoeimai]

First you have to know what Love is. Because you said that you want to love yourself.

Love is has to be unconditional. No matter your actions and your behaviour,the way you look the way you act,you must accept your self,your flaws and your successes. So, as I said, no matter what .

Then just be easy with yourself. Dont beat yourself up this is very important.

And act like this. Imagine a person who deeply loves you...how do they act upon you? Remember every detail. Now,do the same to yourself. It is a commitment. 

I really don't have to say anything more. Its a slow process. Your whole perspective has to change. So its not gonna happen overnight. Be patient.

 

[Nahm]

@MochaSlap I understand the theory of 'it's going to take a lot of hard work' and I understand you're likely to proceed in that fashion. So just for fun, I am offering a different perspective. Does anything come to mind if you try to think back to your upbringing, why and when you adopted the belief that you had low confidence?

[Shin]

On 28/02/2017 at 9:47 PM, see_on_see said:

Exactly. Imagine how little you would care if you watched someone sing, dance, or talk to random girls in the street. 

Your mind would register it for 1 second and then you would continue going on about your day.

Same for others. Nobody cares. It's all in your mind.

And even when they care, it's all in their mind too !

Thoughts, about how you speak, how you dress, what you know, what you don't know, what you look like, how you move, how you look, how you smile, how you act, if you care enough about them, if you care too much about them, and it goes on and on ...

All of that, is just resistance of reality, they don't accept that someone or something is not how they think it should be, so they get mad about it !

 

Edited March 4, 2017 by Shin

[ParanoidAndroid]

I HIGHLY recommend watching Leo's video on self-acceptance. Make sure to watch the whole thing and do all the exercises

 

 

 

[egoeimai]

Why should you put so much effort to something that is so natural?