Criticism is not always healthy

[Tyler Robinson]

You can criticize a person. But you can only criticize them within the ambit of comfort. When a person is not taking your criticism positively, then either you have failed in convincing them or they are not open to it. In that case you should stop because it's unproductive, unhealthy and only adding to that person's frustration. Criticism is like an argument. If that person is not understanding or accepting your argument, then you cannot keep it ramming it down their throat. At some point you need to stop otherwise its like you're trying to control the other person and they are not your puppet. They have their own freedom and space. 

Chronic criticism is no longer criticism. It is simply bashing and destructive and your need to control the other person. It reflects lack of respect for the other person's level of comfort with your criticism and exhibits your tendency to control and dominate their way of being and you're entitled to control them to your liking and desirability. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

In other words they don't have an obligation to follow your opinion or train of thought. They are free to do as they please. Criticism is an offering and not an order and when someone is not okay with how you criticize them, then it's your failure in convincing them and just because they are not welcoming your criticism, you can't keep pestering them on and on about it. That's trying to control them and their freedom and they have zero obligation to follow you when you are not respecting their freedoms and ways of being. 

No? 

[Razard86]

Every action is an attempt to control. This thread was written to share a point of view, based on the tone of the thread it is clearly a personal point of view with an emotional/experiential connection to it. I would surmise this thread is written out of frustration of the topic being highlighted which is an attempt to express emotional frustration which is itself a desire to maintain control (emotional equilibrium).

TLDR: You probably wrote this thread out of frustration and in an attempt to share that frustration and the confusion of why it keeps happening you decide to share it with others. Here is a secret....every point of view believe it is right. Every point of view usually unknowingly attempts to control other points of view by trying to force its point of view on others. You can only be confused by what is going on, if you do not recognize that you are playing the same game they are playing, the game of survival of your identity/point of view.

[John Paul]

Yes…

this post could also be considered critical though… what to do, what to do

[Tyler Robinson]

20 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Every action is an attempt to control. This thread was written to share a point of view, based on the tone of the thread it is clearly a personal point of view with an emotional/experiential connection to it. I would surmise this thread is written out of frustration of the topic being highlighted which is an attempt to express emotional frustration which is itself a desire to maintain control (emotional equilibrium).

TLDR: You probably wrote this thread out of frustration and in an attempt to share that frustration and the confusion of why it keeps happening you decide to share it with others. Here is a secret....every point of view believe it is right. Every point of view usually unknowingly attempts to control other points of view by trying to force its point of view on others. You can only be confused by what is going on, if you do not recognize that you are playing the same game they are playing, the game of survival of your identity/point of view.

Nice game. It's like a dog chasing its own tail. 

[Tyler Robinson]

If you don't want to respect someone's individuality then even they  don't have the right to listen to your criticism. 

 

[John Paul]

@Tyler Robinson can you respect disrespect? Super hard. I “can’t” but in the future I will.

[Tyler Robinson]

5 minutes ago, John Paul said:

@Tyler Robinson can you respect disrespect? Super hard. I “can’t” but in the future I will.

A human being is like a mirror. What you give them, they will give you back. 

If you give them good, they will give you better.

If you give them bad, they will give you worse. 

 

[Gesundheit2]

57 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

You are the first person I see who writes TLDR summery that is longer than the original text 

LMAO! Literally!

[John Paul]

6 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

A human being is like a mirror. What you give them, they will give you back. 

If you give them good, they will give you better.

If you give them bad, they will give you worse. 

 

Isn’t that why you’re on this stupid website instead of Facebook? To transcend the human? To strive for divinity?

[Tyler Robinson]

4 hours ago, John Paul said:

Isn’t that why you’re on this stupid website instead of Facebook? To transcend the human? To strive for divinity?

Divinity can never transcend survival. 

 

[Danioover9000]

@Tyler Robinson  I agree, it's healthy to critic constructively, but the attitude behind the critic is the unhealthy aspect. Like this video below:

   Edits are funny though.???

[LastThursday]

On 18/12/2022 at 11:28 PM, Tyler Robinson said:

You can criticize a person. But you can only criticize them within the ambit of comfort.

Criticism is a two-way communication, like all human interactions. Depending on the level awareness of each person, the communication can be positive or negative. If the criticism is meant as guidance, then it could be seen as a gift if the receiver is ready to act on it. Mostly, criticism is done out of frustration or an inflexible need for things to be a certain way. And most criticism is taken as some form of rejection; that the recipient's behaviour is wrong in some way. The criticiser ultimately wants to see a change in behaviour, and the criticised, wants to carry on being the same.

If the criticiser is aware enough that their criticism is meant as guidance, then they are aware enough to not ram home their point. If the criticised is aware enough not to get riled by the criticism then they are aware enough to realise it is being done out of some form of love.

Ambit is a good word I like it.

[Ulax]

Ultimately, unless strategically used, all criticism is arbitrary and is simply used to meet the speaker's need(s)

[Tyler Robinson]

18 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Ultimately, unless strategically used, all criticism is arbitrary and is simply used to meet the speaker's need(s)

I like that profile Pic of yours. It looks nice. 

 

[Consept]

Constructive criticism is actually essential of you want to grow and self-actualise. The key is the intention behind the criticism, some people will give it out of some dislike of you or maybe they're jealous, whatever the reason, its more about them than you. Others will give it with a genuine intention of trying to help you improve or connecting with you. What you have to get good at is spotting the difference. 

Also your ego needs to be able to hear a criticism and not be hurt by it, because you may take all criticism as bad just because it hurts your ego. This isn't productive and can actually push away people who can actually make a massive positive impact in your life. A friend will tell you your teeth look great, a real friend will tell you your teeth are great but you've got spinich in them. 

[Tyler Robinson]

@Consept I'm open to criticism but only if I am able to trust a person fully otherwise it feels like a lashing. Not especially if I find the person serious. 

[Arthogaan]

Realize that subjectively what determines whether the criticism is healthy or not is your interpretation.

My older brother once told me harshly when I was in elementary school that "you are fucking fat, start looking like a human" and it sounds like it is unhealthy but actually it really motivated me and helped me. On the other hand someone can say lovingly to you "omg your body is so beautifull" and you could theoretically interpret it as, damn that person only sees my body and not my personality that is so sad.

So it does not matter what you people tell you. It is how you interpret it. Take control of your mind.

[Danioover9000]

@Arthogaan

1 hour ago, Arthogaan said:

Realize that subjectively what determines whether the criticism is healthy or not is your interpretation.

My older brother once told me harshly when I was in elementary school that "you are fucking fat, start looking like a human" and it sounds like it is unhealthy but actually it really motivated me and helped me. On the other hand someone can say lovingly to you "omg your body is so beautifull" and you could theoretically interpret it as, damn that person only sees my body and not my personality that is so sad.

So it does not matter what you people tell you. It is how you interpret it. Take control of your mind.

   Is this the part where people's opinions of you are irrelevent?

[Arthogaan]

1 hour ago, Danioover9000 said:

@Arthogaan

   Is this the part where people's opinions of you are irrelevent?

I am not sure if I understand the question but yes - people's opinion about you are irrelevant in the sense that you have to have the sovereignty of your own state of mind.