How I got out of being depressed

[Illusory Self]

 

My experience.... 

Well, I already feel like I have grown leaps and bounds and I wanted to share my experience. My state of consciousness was trapped with living with my grandmother for so long. She loved me, my family loved me but I was so utterly blind to the love that was around me. Living by myself has made me realize how selfish I have been to those who have loved me the most.  I suffered with extremely low self esteem and victimhood talk. The only thing I could think about was how I could not get laid at expense of my own self development or personal growth. My worst issue that my consciousness felt a fear of being judged by other people (even when journaling). So trapped within my own mind with my own limited vocabulary. I would get girl and girl would leave me because I felt that I had to do/act/say something in order to keep her. My mind was in constant state of fear 24/7. It really felt like pure hell. I was blind to the love all around me and somehow I still felt so incredibly unworthy. 

 

Here's what I did

The cause was with my self. I fundamentally suffered from extremely low self esteem. I knew I had to do the self esteem stems, I even tried doing them for the past year but the part of me that felt unlovable always took over. I never did them successfully. I knew I had to take the plunge and just jump into doing them. I started doing self esteem stems every morning, night. I did gratitude journaling for 5 minutes every morning. I actually started to use my commonplace book!! I ended my own trap of self masterbation over personal development and actually did the work. What felt worse for me was the thousands of hours listening to concepts without doing any work. I was distracting myself "Thinking I was getting better" When in reality it was a mechanism to escape the deep rooted suffering that I was experiencing. 

 

I say moving out was what really helped me. Anyway I hope this may help some of you because I do feel a lot better currently. Almost like I perceive reality in such a different way. All of a sudden there are things that I can do. Before I was clouded by darkness and depression. 

 

I illuminated it with the light of consciousness. I can say honestly say, getting out of depression is one of the most challenging and enduring things that I have ever had to do. The most hardest thing out of my life. I am 26 and have spent basically my whole life living with depression if I am being honest with myself. 

Edited December 17, 2022 by Illusory Self

[Bob Seeker]

Good for you

And so much more growth is coming.

more light of consciousness and more and more

[NoSelfSelf]

Are you refering to 5 pillars of self esteem book practices?

[Kshantivadin]

?❤️

[Kamo]

@NoSelfSelf

12 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Are you refering to 5 pillars of self esteem book practices?

Do you mean 6 Pillars? lol

[Razard86]

On 12/17/2022 at 2:24 PM, Illusory Self said:

 

My experience.... 

Well, I already feel like I have grown leaps and bounds and I wanted to share my experience. My state of consciousness was trapped with living with my grandmother for so long. She loved me, my family loved me but I was so utterly blind to the love that was around me. Living by myself has made me realize how selfish I have been to those who have loved me the most.  I suffered with extremely low self esteem and victimhood talk. The only thing I could think about was how I could not get laid at expense of my own self development or personal growth. My worst issue that my consciousness felt a fear of being judged by other people (even when journaling). So trapped within my own mind with my own limited vocabulary. I would get girl and girl would leave me because I felt that I had to do/act/say something in order to keep her. My mind was in constant state of fear 24/7. It really felt like pure hell. I was blind to the love all around me and somehow I still felt so incredibly unworthy. 

 

Here's what I did

The cause was with my self. I fundamentally suffered from extremely low self esteem. I knew I had to do the self esteem stems, I even tried doing them for the past year but the part of me that felt unlovable always took over. I never did them successfully. I knew I had to take the plunge and just jump into doing them. I started doing self esteem stems every morning, night. I did gratitude journaling for 5 minutes every morning. I actually started to use my commonplace book!! I ended my own trap of self masterbation over personal development and actually did the work. What felt worse for me was the thousands of hours listening to concepts without doing any work. I was distracting myself "Thinking I was getting better" When in reality it was a mechanism to escape the deep rooted suffering that I was experiencing. 

 

I say moving out was what really helped me. Anyway I hope this may help some of you because I do feel a lot better currently. Almost like I perceive reality in such a different way. All of a sudden there are things that I can do. Before I was clouded by darkness and depression. 

 

I illuminated it with the light of consciousness. I can say honestly say, getting out of depression is one of the most challenging and enduring things that I have ever had to do. The most hardest thing out of my life. I am 26 and have spent basically my whole life living with depression if I am being honest with myself. 

I'm happy for you!! What you can also do is record yourself honestly talking about the things you are grateful for. When you feel in a dark place you can go over and play it to yourself to remind yourself how you felt when you were in a state of gratefulness.

I'm happy for you and I can only wish for others to follow your example!! Way to go!!!!

[Tyler Robinson]

 

I'm glad to hear that you've been able to make such positive changes in your life and that you're feeling better. It sounds like you've done a lot of hard work to address your low self-esteem and to break free from patterns of behavior that were holding you back. It can be challenging to make lasting changes, but it's so worth it when you see the positive impact it can have on your life. Keep up the good work and don't be afraid to seek support if you need it. Remember that it's okay to ask for help, and there are many resources available to assist you on your journey towards healing and self-improvement.

[inFlow]

@Illusory Self You are not alone my brother. I'm happy that you are fixing your life. I can only say that it never gets easy, every day is still "hard". Just become stronger and you will see what an amazing life you can create for yourself.

[Cass Cassini]

Work on your motivation levels. 

[hyruga]

Congratulations and celebrations.

[bry999]

what did you do?? self esteems stems?

[Illusory Self]

On 22/12/2022 at 4:21 AM, bry999 said:

what did you do?? self esteems stems?

I did gratitude journaling and self esteem stems. 

I seemed to of got out of being depressed to consciousness being liberated within a matter of 2 months.. 

It just clicked... the depressive thoughts.. the grateful thoughts... I was like ahhh.... 

[PenguinPablo]

What led you to start implementing self-esteem stems, gratitude journaling, and using your commonplace book as part of your self-improvement journey? How have these practices helped you specifically in your journey towards overcoming depression and improving your self-esteem?

 

[ThermalTide]

Really proud of you friend. 

[jedimasters]

Thank you for sharing! 

"You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop" - Rumi