I'm feeling suicidal

[Gesundheit2]

@Tyler Robinson

If it was in my power, I would give you what you're asking for. But all I can do for now is suggesting alternatives. You still have your AoB account, right? It's very similar but without the trolls.

 

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Gesundheit2 said:

@Tyler Robinson

If it was in my power, I would give you what you're asking for. But all I can do for now is suggesting alternatives. You still have your AoB account, right? It's very similar but without the trolls.

 

No I'm just talking about this forum. I have nothing to do with any other place online and it has nothing to do with this forum. 

I'm just talking about this forum only. 

I don't want other alternatives. My journals are here. This is where I journal, this is the place which has a strong journaling community. This is the place where I come regularly. This is where my main friends are. 

And so I want the solution right here. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

@Gesundheit2 you're a professional software developer right? 

Why can't you help Leo with this functionality? 

You can work for free and help Leo to design this? 

No? 

 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Eph75]

@Tyler Robinson

There's always more to things than we make up there is. @Gesundheit2 has a point, as do you. @Gesundheit2 has things to work on about how he is being/shows up to the world, as do you, as do I. So that we can grow increasingly and healthily impactful in that world. 

There's something here that isn't seen, by you (same goes for everyone) and seeing that which we can't see now, is one of the keys that can lead to shifting your mind - ultimately redefining YOUR world in which we exist. 

You may very well be right in what you write, but if that's a distraction away from the very thing that needs to shift within you, and it's only that, a distraction, and even if this one thing would change, the way your mind produces thoughts remains the same, and problems with the world is seen the same way, only elsewhere. 

This is always an amalgamation of your showing up in to, and your interpretation of the world - and how that clashes with the showing up of others. 

That is, no one is at absolute right at all times, there are perspectives, and all perspectives are flawed in some way. 

Unreasonable could be that this is something that you can sort out within yourself, and what is actually unfolding now cements they way you are in you inner world. 

"Bad things out there" can't be fixed, and if one adjusts itself, there is an infinite new "bad things" that will case upsets. 

It's those very shifts in our mind happen, they alleviated the mental pain and suffering that is interpreted into the reality that we make up for ourselves. 

Consider that reality might not be as real as you think, feel and know it is. That it's being made up within your mind, as we speak. And consider how truly "letting go of" something can change how that world appears to you. 

From being against you, to, simply being there and not necessarily warranting an interpretation at all. 

Perceived assholes simply become people expressing the thoughts that show up to then as best they can, based on their own interpretation of the world. 

Consider that their showing up and actions have NOTHING to do with you.

Nothing... 

The only thing you have is your interpretation - and it is flawed, incorrect and down-right wrong - just as everyone else's is.

Consider journaling about that - the meta of what is happening, detached from the content of the story taking place, which in this case is limited to a forum, a lack of features, and a desire to restrict of change some people from being able to do wrong. 

Beyond that story lies possibilities. 

[Gesundheit2]

10 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

@Gesundheit2

You can work for free

 

10 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

No

 

[Tyler Robinson]

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

@Tyler Robinson

There's always more to things than we make up there is. @Gesundheit2 has a point, as do you. @Gesundheit2 has things to work on about how he is being/shows up to the world, as do you, as do I. So that we can grow increasingly and healthily impactful in that world. 

There's something here that isn't seen, by you (same goes for everyone) and seeing that which we can't see now, is one of the keys that can lead to shifting your mind - ultimately redefining YOUR world in which we exist. 

You may very well be right in what you write, but if that's a distraction away from the very thing that needs to shift within you, and it's only that, a distraction, and even if this one thing would change, the way your mind produces thoughts remains the same, and problems with the world is seen the same way, only elsewhere. 

This is always an amalgamation of your showing up in to, and your interpretation of the world - and how that clashes with the showing up of others. 

That is, no one is at absolute right at all times, there are perspectives, and all perspectives are flawed in some way. 

Unreasonable could be that this is something that you can sort out within yourself, and what is actually unfolding now cements they way you are in you inner world. 

"Bad things out there" can't be fixed, and if one adjusts itself, there is an infinite new "bad things" that will case upsets. 

It's those very shifts in our mind happen, they alleviated the mental pain and suffering that is interpreted into the reality that we make up for ourselves. 

Consider that reality might not be as real as you think, feel and know it is. That it's being made up within your mind, as we speak. And consider how truly "letting go of" something can change how that world appears to you. 

From being against you, to, simply being there and not necessarily warranting an interpretation at all. 

Perceived assholes simply become people expressing the thoughts that show up to then as best they can, based on their own interpretation of the world. 

Consider that their showing up and actions have NOTHING to do with you.

Nothing... 

The only thing you have is your interpretation - and it is flawed, incorrect and down-right wrong - just as everyone else's is.

Consider journaling about that - the meta of what is happening, detached from the content of the story taking place, which in this case is limited to a forum, a lack of features, and a desire to restrict of change some people from being able to do wrong. 

Beyond that story lies possibilities. 

 

I'm sorry but you talk like a saint. Maybe it suits you. Maybe sitting there in your chair, you can't connect with my emotions or understand how I feel. This is exactly the problem I have with therapists. They talk as though everything is perfect. Well, maybe for them because they are in a psychologically healthy state 

Let me remind you of my signature then. 

 Be careful being too demanding in relationships. Relate to the person at the level they are at, not where you need them to be.

You're expecting way too much from a trauma ridden person. You are not relating to me, just expecting out of me. You need to relate to be at the level I'm at, not where you need me to be. You're simply expecting that I should magically become like you.

But my circumstances and brain wiring are different from yours. Everyone needs a different solution depending on their psyche and level of growth. 

Maybe I'm not at your level of saintliness. But I can't jump at your level. I need to heal completely before I can feel the way you do. But for that healing I need space. 

You have to meet people where they are. We are not vibing. Your solution is not working for me, but it could be good for you. 

I'm not like you at all. My life and world is different. It's like we are on two different emotional scales.

Its like nothing can trigger you but that's you. Even small things can trigger me. There are special needs people in this world. Everyone has to live in the same world and feel safe. 

That's why we have disability parking space. Because you can't expect someone who is mentally ill to act like healthy people because then they won't be mentally ill in the first place. 

I feel like your solution lacks consideration for others condition. 

At its extreme, it sounds like spiritual bypassing. Reminds me of Nahm. 

 

[Eph75]

@Tyler Robinson

I do get that. 

I've been in a similar place that I make up you are at. Similar, not same. 

I do get triggered, it's human nature. 

And yes, I do something differently today when I do get triggered, that I wasn't able to do say 6 years ago. 

I get triggered less and less often as a result. Different environments, people, situations play in. 

I also do see how you make a Nahm connection, and how me assuring you this has nothing to do with bypassimg and instead getting straight into and with the pain rather than building structures that removes the need to deal with what shows up. 

I too feel that disconnect and I acknowledge my lack of ability to offer what you need.

In that sense, I'm only offering a perspective, do what you will with that. 

❤️

And I do wish you the best. 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Eph75

[Michael569]

4 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I'm awkwardly surprised when someone says that - We've already put in a lot of work catering to protect you,

You don't see a lot of the behind the scenes stuff but trust me this forum can have a vicious underground that you don't see because we do our best to keep it clean and protect people who don't deal well with mean comments. 

Ofcourse we mess up often and and much goes under our radar, this is an unpaid work. Most of us have jobs, some of us multiple jobs and other engagements and there is only so much mental power one can dedicate to reading stuff that some people write which often borderlines with insanity, and then decide who is right or wrong.

I agree with Roy that a lot of your suffering would be alleviated if you took a break from this place. That applies for many users.

Because you post the most often of all users, statistically your comments are likely to be read by the most people and friction is inevitable because people ALWAYS disagree with each other online.

That's just how it is. Internet is a vicious place. You can't change it but you can leave it for a bit.

[Tyler Robinson]

@Michael569

I hope that you remember your own comment from a few days ago - 

I think a little bit of phone user experience optimisation when tagging users. That function misbehaves often on a phone and tagged names usually cannot be deleted.

Maybe quick tips section for new users including some key navigation points. Or maybe a short intro video for new users made by you? 

A button "Privatise" in journal section that will lock the journal from ability to comment but can still be modded if the user shit talks about other members.

OR

The ability for journal owner to delete comments from other users.

 

[Michael569]

@Tyler Robinson yes I still stand by those but unfortunately none of us can do that. Those are changes only Leo can make. 

Also, the job of mods is not to protect the users but the forum. This is not a public safety service. The main role here is to ban and repell spammers, bots and users who are trying to splinter this community.

The intra-user conflicts would require 30 more people around to take care of and have this a full time job

As a user on here you are (unofficially) agreeing to take the risk of being trolled, stalked and becoming a target of criticism. Everyone on here is aware of this risk. 

Everytime you post something personal consider this:

1. Hundreds of mentally unstable people could be reading this

2. Hundreds of psychopaths could be reading this 

3. Hundreds of pedophiles, freaks, and potentially dangerous people could be reading this. 

4. Hundreds of people who simply enjoy drama and suffering of others could be reading this. 

5. People who might be trying to track you on real life might be reading this.

As others said, personal journal might work better otherwise it seems as if you somehow desire the attention both negative and positive.

Edited December 18, 2022 by Michael569

[Tyler Robinson]

14 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

@Tyler Robinson yes I still stand by those but unfortunately none of us can do that. Those are changes only Leo can make. 

Also, the job of mods is not to protect the users but the forum. This is not a public safety service. The main role here is to ban and repell spammers, bots and users who are trying to splinter this community.

The intra-user conflicts would require 30 more people around to take care of and have this a full time job

As a user on here you are (unofficially) agreeing to take the risk of being trolled, stalked and becoming a target of criticism. Everyone on here is aware of this risk. 

Everytime you post something personal consider this:

1. Hundreds of mentally unstable people could be reading this

2. Hundreds of psychopaths could be reading this 

3. Hundreds of pedophiles, freaks, and potentially dangerous people could be reading this. 

4. Hundreds of people who simply enjoy drama and suffering of others could be reading this. 

5. People who might be trying to track you on real life might be reading this.

As others said, personal journal might work better otherwise it seems as if you somehow desire the attention both negative and positive.

All I want is this - 

I don't desire negative attention I promise you. 

I simply want the feeling that I'm publicly journaling but minus the comment part. 

If someone reads my content, that doesn't bother me. But if someone comments, it makes me feel alert/anxious or intruded on. 

It's the feeling of being intruded that bothers me. 

I have already explained that private journaling doesn't really help. I want public venting but not the commenting or some sort of control over the commenting. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

If I truly desired negative attention then I wouldn't be fighting so hard to have no comment option. I would have been happy getting all the negative attention? 

Why would I complain so much? 

I'm complaining so much because journaling really helps except the commenting part. 

I'm surprised that im having to defend so much for such simple things that should have been fixed long long ago. 

If I had created a forum, this would have been the very first option I would have given to journalers.. It's so logical and sensible. 

I don't know how it didn't occur to forum creators that this is so basic and fundamental to journaling. 

Especially given the toxic nature of the internet. 

In fact telling me that there are psychopaths, pedos,  unstable people actually pretty much bolsters my argument that we need such a system of protection 100%.

When we already know that something is/can be dangerous, shouldn't we have additional functionality in place already so that exploitative trolls cannot take advantage of the User Interface. 

I mean what about cyber security really? 

Safe spaces are created for the very reason that there's danger and bad people online. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

37 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

As a user on here you are (unofficially) agreeing to take the risk of being trolled, stalked and becoming a target of criticism. Everyone on here is aware of this risk. 

This is like the most unexpected thing. Nobody would come online, especially vulnerable people if they thought this. 

 

I don't find it right. I never came online thinking like that. Especially with this forum, I really trusted it to be a great place, I thought this would be the last place where I would get trolled or stalked. Because I thought this place would attract the best highly conscious qualified decent people. 

I'm surprised you have such low expectations. 

With that attitude we can never have a safe internet. That's like agreeing to never want an improvement. It's a dangerous attitude that keeps us from wanting a better world. 

Think from the aspect of LOVE. 

Think that you would want your kids to see a better safer internet in the future and you can give them that. 

They will have it only if you think they deserve it. 

We all deserve a better safer internet and that's going to happen in the future. 

Also one big thing. If there was a forum out there exactly like this and it gave me an option to control the commenting and much safer, I would have left this place in a heartbeat. 

 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Michael569]

@Tyler Robinson i agree with you the function to privatise journal should exist. It would save a lot of time for everyone.

This had been raised several times but mods do not have admin rights to the forum and it probably requires opening up forum source code and tinkering with it which only Leo can do. @Leo Gura not sure how possible of a request that is 

[puporing]

@Tyler Robinson Please be reminded of the limitations and expectations of being on this forum: https://www.actualized.org/forum/guidelines/

Quote

Setting Proper Expectations: This is the internet. This is an online forum. This is not a physical community, nor a professional workshop space, nor a therapist's office. As such, you should temper your expectations for what this place can do. All online forums are casual places with plenty of low-quality posts and misinformation. No one here is going to hold your hand or offer you one-on-one emotional health services. This is mostly a place to share ideas and resources and ask casual questions. This place is not suitable for serious spiritual work or guidance. If you are seeking serious spiritual guidance, go find a guru or a physical school. Please keep in mind that no one on this forum owes you anything. So have the right expectations and don't get too invested. This forum is not therapy, it is not mental health services, it is not a suicide prevention center, it is not life coaching, it is not a spiritual classroom.

 

Quote

What We Are NOT Focused On:

Mental Illness

Suicide prevention

 

Quote

This community is a privilege, not a right! 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

@Michael569  Leo has already told he can't do anything. 

I don't know. I'm just throwing my hands in the air. There is literally no way. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

6 minutes ago, puporing said:

@Tyler Robinson Please be reminded of the limitations and expectations of being on this forum: https://www.actualized.org/forum/guidelines/

 

 

 

Let me tell you something - 

1. This forum had a reputation point system. Leo removed that because people used to create bias and discrimination and elitism. 

2. The forum did not have a politics section. The funny part is plenty of members got warning points whenever they discussed political issues and Leo used to warn them that the website wasn't meant for political debates. Yet today we have a politics section after many users demanded for such a section. 

3. We had the ability to change our usernames before. But people began misusing it so Leo stopped that. 

4. People used to register and the accounts would be verified quickly. Leo made the registration stricter and slower. 

5. We have the philosophy section. 

6. We also have an entertainment section now.. 

7. We have a separate psychedelics section. We didn't have that before. 

I can go on and on. You catch my drift. Things can change. 

Many years ago mentally ill people were dehumanized, treated like trash, thrown to rot away in asylums and treated like criminals. 

Today we treat them humanely and softly, we accommodate them and show them care and empathy. 

Yea things can change. Nothing is written in stone. 

 

 

[Gesundheit2]

@Tyler Robinson

Leo is all about love and consciousness. I think this option that you're suggesting does not promote love, nor consciousness. It rather promotes the opposite. It promotes hatred, separation, ignorance, etc.

Maybe him ignoring your request is his way of telling you that you need to develop more capacity for loving others and allowing them to be themselves despite you not liking it, cuz that would grow your consciousness and heal you way better than a therapist or the things you're requesting. How do you think he's become so loving and conscious?

Look at Leo and take him as an example. How many haters and trolls are out there everyday hating him and even giving him death threats for no reason? Does he like it? Obviously not. But he still keeps sending out love in all directions nevertheless. Personally, I look at him and feel shy of my low capacity for love. It takes a lot to be like that. This has been the case for all the visionaries across history. The hero takes all negative inputs and outputs positivity, unlike the villain who sucks in all the positivity and only pumps out negativity. Be like Leo. Be the hero. That's his vision for you.

[Tyler Robinson]

2 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@Tyler Robinson

Leo is all about love and consciousness. I think this option that you're suggesting does not promote love, nor consciousness. It rather promotes the opposite. It promotes hatred, separation, ignorance, etc.

Maybe him ignoring your request is his way of telling you that you need to develop more capacity for loving others and allowing them to be themselves despite you not liking it, cuz that would grow your consciousness and heal you way better than a therapist or the things you're requesting. How do you think he's become so loving and conscious?

Look at Leo and take him as an example. How many haters and trolls are out there everyday hating him and even giving him death threats for no reason? Does he like it? Obviously not. But he still keeps sending out love in all directions nevertheless. Personally, I look at him and feel shy of my low capacity for love. It takes a lot to be like that. This has been the case for all the visionaries across history. The hero takes all negative inputs and outputs positivity, unlike the villain who sucks in all the positivity and only pumps out negativity. Be like Leo. Be the hero. That's his vision for you.

Well let me break it to you. He bans them lol. 

And no that's not the definition.

Tolerating abuse is never love. 

Correcting abuse is love. 

If someone is given a warning point for disrespecting someone's journal, it's good place for them to reflect on their behavior and improve. 

If someone is never told that their behavior is hurtful, they will never have an opportunity to understand how they are hurting others.. 

Unity is created through understanding and lessening other's suffering and not by telling people to not have boundaries. 

You might as well say forgive all rapists and rape will end. 

By your logic, there would be no civil war and slavery of black people would have continued. 

Fighting against someone who is violating your personal boundaries is giving them a great chance to learn how to respect personal boundaries. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

I'm asking for this request, either of these can be given to journalers as an option - 

Option A - Allow journalers to delete comments they see and don't appreciate on their journals.

Option B -  Make a rule that lets users to comment only after obtaining permission from the journaler, give the journaler a notification every time a user wants to comment asking for a permission. That is anytime a user wants to comment on a journal, they are automatically asked to take permission from journaler before the comment can be posted. Once the journaler  gives the permission by clicking "yes" then the comment will be posted. Do this for every comment every time. 

Give any of the above options to journalers. So both parties are satisfied. People who want to comment can still comment. At the same time if the journaler does not appreciate how a user comments they can either delete or not give the permission to comment. 

This way we will have more autonomy over our personal content. 

It will be great if either Option is alloted to journalers