I'm feeling suicidal

[Eph75]

@Tyler Robinson

What I make up is that there is a desire to control what cannot be controlled; journaling here and not wanting anyone to comment.

If that is an upset, you can declare a breakdown for yourself, meaning that you stop and look at how you would typically respond and consider what being unreasonable with the autonomous thoughts showing up would look like, and what an unreasonable action would be. 

Requiring the forum or forum members to change is what's reasonable to you - you need to be unreasonable with yourself to come up with something that will help you on a deeper level. 

I understand your desire to make journaling public and thus more impactful and less into a void.

Would starting a blog and journaling there, where you can control/not allow commenting, and linking it from you signature help you with this? Or do you feel that the public connection is still too abstract?

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Eph75 said:

Would starting a blog and journaling there, where you can control/not allow commenting, and linking it from you signature help you with this? Or do you feel that the public connection is still too abstract?

I already have a blog I set up a few months ago. I even posted a couple of stuff there. Then I lost motivation because I did not feel like I'm posting to the public. Once again it felt like I'm talking to a wall. Zero impact emotionally. I quit the blog and came back to the forum 

 

[Eph75]

@Tyler Robinson

I'm thinking human curiosity means people would click such a link and it maybe making a subtle difference making that blogging more meaningful. That is, were it to be discoverable, i.e. In your signature. 

Stay with the thought of being unreasonable, that's where shifts in our thinking resides. 

The first unreasonable action is to not dismiss the the idea of being unreasonable. The second is accepting simply that being unreasonable can be to disengage with the desire to take action, which is the desire to fix something, and just staying with the upset, feeling into it in a way that is unreasonable to whta you would normally do. 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Eph75

[Proserpina]

@Tyler Robinson I agree, trolling and bullying has occured in the journalling subforum.  It's up to Leo as the head moderator on here to create and enforce boundaries that address this problem.  If he doesn't do anything, then it will remain the way it is.  He's the only one who can address this issue on here.  The other moderators can only do what they can within the parameters that Leo provides them to utilize.   This is his community at the end of the day.  He's the final leader. 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Proserpina

[Tyler Robinson]

2 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

I'm thinking human curiosity means people would click such a link and it maybe making a subtle difference making that blogging more meaningful. That is, were it to be discoverable, i.e. In your signature. 

Stay with the thought of being unreasonable, that's where shifts in our thinking resides. 

The first unreasonable action is to not dismiss the the idea of being unreasonable. The second is accepting simply that being unreasonable can be to disengage with the desire to take action, which is the desire to fix something, and just staying with the upset. 

Even YouTube allows users to control their comment section. That is also a public platform right? 

This is also a public platform. Every social media and public platform like Facebook, Twitter has the ability to control who can comment. 

If I write on Facebook post and if someone writes something I don't like to read as a response or feedback, I can easily delete their comment. 

Then why this forum should be different? 

Why can't such options exist here when every public platform has the option to do so?

[Tyler Robinson]

12 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

I'm thinking human curiosity means people would click such a link and it maybe making a subtle difference making that blogging more meaningful. That is, were it to be discoverable, i.e. In your signature. 

On the blog I feel very alone. Here I feel a sense of security. I see other people journaling. If nobody was journaling, once again I would feel alone and insecure. 

Here I'm a part of a journaling group.. I have social anxiety. I rarely go to the gym, whenever I go to the gym I go with some friend. I don't go alone. Gyming alone makes me nervous. 

Similarly journaling alone makes me nervous. Here I'm mixed and assimilated in the journalers crowd so I don't feel so nervous. I feel motivated to journal along with them. It's my daily routine here. It's like going to a morning jog with friends 

The journaling community are like my friends. When I feel like going jogging with friends, it's a better feeling versus going alone. 

Journaling keeps me mentally sane everyday. Without it I would be extremely alone and suicidal. Here I feel connected to my journaling friends and everyday without fail I make my daily entries and I feel better. 

It is looked at as an addiction. But for me it's like a regular routine for my mental health, the way people exercise everyday. 

Journaling connects me to myself from time to time and having my journaling community here is a friendly boost and motivation. It gives me a blanket of protection and security. 

That's why out of all places I come here. It's my mental equivalent of going to Gym with friends. 

I hope you get the idea of how public journaling inside a close knit journaling community is motivating and relieving to me. 

 

[Eph75]

@Tyler Robinson

I fully see what you want, desire and need. And forgive me for changing the direction back to control. These are things you cannot control. Of course you have a slim chance on influencing by sharing feedback about such functionality, but you cannot control it. 

I'm sorry for the pain you experience.

These thoughts are patterned "Tyler Robinson" thoughts, they are not per se your thoughts, they are thought that show up to you. 

When an upset happens around something we automatically go to where our patterned thought take us.

This is typically to fix something "out there". 

This showing up as something you need, and it being in the realm where you can only influence at best - but likely not even influence is possible as it would likely require rewriting the forum software that is not even in the control of admin/mods.

Sharing thoughts and ideas is of course great, ad it might influence at some level. But if there's an attachment to the desired outcomes, we generate a new, different kind of upset in that very process. 

What you can control is where and how you journal, and how you expose that journaling so that it becomes impactful to you. 

Paradoxically, the best journaling is that which others can interact with and where we feel safe to accept constructive feedback offered. And paradoxically, this place should be about creating an environment that supports people in their development -  but reality is that it is not deliberately constructed for that purpose. 

Unfortunately this environment is not capable of being that kind of support system. 

Also, this  typical "fixing" reaction that we have as human beings, is very much externally focused, looking for external world to adapt to our internal world or in that way, our capacity to interpret and create what we see the external world as. 

Unreasonable is happening in the internal world, where perspectives, beliefs, and attitudes actually can change, those we in that sense do control, with the result that the external world shows up differently to us, to the degree that we and it become something new that didn't exist prior to such a shift of our internal world.

Unreasonable is in the internal world. 

*This* is just a distraction that doesn't get to what really matters deeply. 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Eph75

[Tyler Robinson]

Also I got a ton of support from the journaling community here. I don't feel so hostile towards them. They just give me a feeling of happiness by default. 

There's a loving presence created in the journaling community. 

Even if they vent in their journals and occasionally say something rude about me or someone in their journals, it doesn't feel so threatening. It's all in the family kind of a thing. 

I feel much better and more connected to the journaling community here. 

I remember times when someone would write rude things. But we would easily patch up and make up and get back together again. 

There's an automatic sense of love created in the journaling community 

That further helps me in feeling grounded and connected. 

I'm not good at social skills and even if I was making friends is not a long term source of connection. Most friends get bored after a while. I don't suffer those limitations with this community. 

 

[Asayake]

I think the journaling situation is problematic. I think enabling users in the journal section to delete comments on their journals could potentially be a good solution and it should be looked into further. I think this would improve the state of the forum, at least short-term. Other possibilites I can think of are for example a replys disabled mode for the journal section. But that would take away the ability for people who get along to interact with eachother in the journal as well which isn't optimal either. I guess as long as there's communication in the journal section it's going to be prone to misuse and drama. But giving journal creators increased control of their journals doesnt seem too far fetched for me and might reduce the problems a fair bit. I can think of many situations where this could be useful as well as reduce a lot of unnecessary work for the mods. Another solution that comes to mind is making it so the block function isn't only hiding messages but actually blocking people from posting on the journal.

Whatever the solution I think this needs to be looked into,

Edited December 18, 2022 by Asayake

[Eph75]

@Tyler Robinson

Just read your two reply before mine and after, we're a bit out of posting sync 

There's something very comforting in what you write.

The problem with controlling what is causing the "upset" still remains. 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Eph75

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Asayake said:

I think the journaling situation is problematic. I think enabling users in the journal section to delete comments on their journals could potentially be a good solution and it should be looked into further. I think this would imrpove the state of the forum, at least short-term. Other possibilites I can think of are for example a replys disabled mode for the journal section. But that would take away the ability for people to interact with eachother in the journals which isn't optimal either. I guess as long as there's communication in the journal section it's going to be prone to misuse and drama. But giving journal creators increased control of their journals doesnt seem too far fetched for me. I can think of many situations where this could be useful as well as reduce a lot of unnecessary work for the mods. Another solution that comes to mind is making it so the block function isn't only hiding messages but actually blocking people from posting on the journal.

Whatever the solution I think this needs to be looked into,

Yea exactly. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

6 minutes ago, Asayake said:

Another solution that comes to mind is making it so the block function isn't only hiding messages but actually blocking people from posting on the journal.

That would be so nice. If the ignore option comes with an additional box for blocking a user from posting on journal. You not only get to ignore their posts but they are automatically not allowed on journals too. That functionality will be great to have. It will definitely solve the annoying problem of toxic commenting. 

Thanks for the idea. That's a great idea/suggestion 

 

[Gesundheit2]

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I'm awkwardly surprised when someone says that - We've already put in a lot of work catering to protect you,

Really where is the effort? Please show me.

 

How do you even say that you are protecting people? In what way exactly? 

I've received several warning points as a result of our interactions. I'm sure many others have too. And I'm sure you have not.

All the mods here, especially Leo, and even many people have an unreasonably huge soft spot for you. You just don't see nor appreciate it, cuz it's mostly behind the scenes. They let you get away with a lot, and you're still asking for more.

Anyone looking from the outside will be surprised by how much special treatment you get around here. And all of that is not enough for you? Maybe it's not the mods' responsibility to protect you anymore. Maybe you're not protecting yourself. Maybe some part of you deep down wants the abuse and the drama. Think about it.

Edited December 18, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Gesundheit2 said:

I've received several warning points as a result of our interactions. I'm sure many others have too. And I'm sure you have not. All the mods here, especially Leo, and even many people have a soft spot for you. You just don't see. They let you get away with a lot, and you're still asking for more. Anyone looking from the outside will be surprised by how much special treatment you get around here. And all of that is not enough for you? Maybe it's not the mods' responsibility to protect you anymore. Maybe you're not protecting yourself. Maybe some part of you deep down wants the abuse and the drama. Think about it.

Absolutely not. You get warning points if you are engaging in behavior that mods don't find okay. Don't put on that on me though.

If I genuinely wanted drama, then I wouldn't be asking an option to control commenting. 

That's the opposite of wanting drama.. 

The reason I'm doing this is because commenting on journals is where the drama actually begins. 

If there's more control given to journalers then ironically there's less drama. 

Calling me drama when I'm asking for a genuine solution is pure gaslighting and shutting me down. 

It's ridiculous 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Tyler Robinson said:

And all of that is not enough for you?

All of that happens exactly because this solution is not implemented. I won't feel the need to talk to mods in the first place if this option was given long ago. 

I don't even like complaining to them but like children we have to, because we can't delete comments on our own. 

I simply don't want disturbance in my journal. I want my journal clean. That's not much to ask.

And if it's too much for you then this topic is not relevant to you. 

 

[Gesundheit2]

Just now, Tyler Robinson said:

Absolutely not. You get warning points if you are engaging in behavior that mods don't find okay.

If that was truly the case, then you'd have been banned years ago.

Just now, Tyler Robinson said:

If I genuinely wanted drama, then I wouldn't be asking an option to control commenting. 

That's the opposite of wanting drama.. 

The reason I'm doing this is because commenting on journals is where the drama actually begins. 

If there's more control given to journalers then ironically there's less drama. 

Calling me drama when I'm asking for a genuine solution is pure gaslighting and shutting me down. 

It's ridiculous 

You don't reflect, that's the problem. Everything else is distraction.

Even if nobody comments on your journals, I don't think you'll stop running into troubles in the other sections. Why is that?

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Gesundheit2 said:

If that was truly the case, then you'd have been banned years ago.

You don't reflect, that's the problem. Everything else is distraction.

Even if nobody comments on your journals, I don't think you'll stop running into troubles in the other sections. Why is that?

But that's not what I'm complaining about. Focus on what I'm complaining about. 

I'm solely complaining about journal comments.

You're intentionally diverting the issue. 

If I run into trouble in other sections, that's my own responsibility and I can look into it.

But this is something beyond my control because I can't decide who is going to be commenting on my journal. 

 

[Gesundheit2]

Just now, Tyler Robinson said:

But that's not what I'm complaining about. Focus on what I'm complaining about. 

I'm solely complaining about journal comments.

You're intentionally diverting the issue. 

If I run into trouble in other sections, that's my own responsibility and I can look into it.

But this is something beyond my control because I can't decide who is going to be commenting on my journal. 

You can ignore. Both with the forum feature, and with your attention. That's your responsibility when you're on a public forum.

Or you can go to Facebook and journal all you want there. You can block everyone if you want.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Gesundheit2 said:

You can ignore. Both with the forum feature, and with your attention. That's your responsibility when you're on a public forum.

Or you can go to Facebook and journal all you want there. You can block everyone if you want.

Facebook does not have a journaling functionality. It's wall style posting. It's very difficult to search and sort through. This place has journaling in which you can flip through pages. 

Plus I already mentioned how journaling here is more motivating than anywhere else. 

If people could mentally block then why was @Loba freaking out when people were commenting on her journal.

Why was user Mighty Dao feeling threatened when her journal was followed. 

It's difficult to ignore (even mentally) when someone is directly posting in your personal space. 

That's why there are so many users asking for this function. 

I'm not the only one. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

Leo doesn't even bother to read regular user messages. Most messages are left unread.

How about mods send him a message since he will be more likely to read them? 

Please some mod, send these two options to Leo and see what he thinks about this. Please. 

My last request on this forum 

 

I'm asking for this request, either of these can be given to journalers as an option - 

Option A - Allow journalers to delete comments they see and don't appreciate on their journals.

Option B -  Make a rule that lets users to comment only after obtaining permission from the journaler, give the journaler a notification every time a user wants to comment asking for a permission. That is anytime a user wants to comment on a journal, they are automatically asked to take permission from journaler before the comment can be posted. Once the journaler  gives the permission by clicking "yes" then the comment will be posted. Do this for every comment every time. 

Give any of the above options to journalers. So both parties are satisfied. People who want to comment can still comment. At the same time if the journaler does not appreciate how a user comments they can either delete or not give the permission to comment. 

This way we will have more autonomy over our personal content. 

It will be great if either Option is alloted to journalers.