I don't get it

[IAmReallyImportant]

People basically want relationships, because they don't feel self-sufficient or a sense of their life not being complete.

For me, this is a sign of low self-esteem. I don't want a relationship, but would be open for it, if it somehow transpires.

But I don't go to dating platforms and try to artificially construct something.

So many people do this and I cannot relate to this at all, so I feel something is wrong with me even if - obviously - something is wrong with all other people..

[Tyler Robinson]

It's natural to feel this way because most people don't get a healthy dose of love in life, either during childhood or just family and friends being uncooperative/cold. 

A lot of people have self esteem issues. 

[IAmReallyImportant]

12 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

It's natural to feel this way because most people don't get a healthy dose of love in life, either during childhood or just family and friends being uncooperative/cold. 

A lot of people have self esteem issues. 

I think it is not natural to feel this way, because imo this phenomenon did arise in accordance with the development of civilized based social isolation.

And for me it is frustrating to see, that it is almost impossible to meet healthy people. There are much people who are perceived as healthy, but if you look closer - they are not. E.g. almost nobody is really stable in life, because if one murders their family, they won't be stable anymore and thus it is obvious that their happiness depends on external circumstances.

Moreover, almost nobody is rooted in actual reality, because nowadays there are no real challenges people are facing. They make huge issues out of nothing, chasing unrealistic goals which are not their own goals etc.

I get pissed off when I hear about the next idiot who wants to kill himself because of pussy problems.

Edited December 14, 2022 by IAmReallyImportant

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

I think it is not natural to feel this way, because imo this phenomenon did arise in accordance with the development of civilized based social isolation.

And for me it is frustrating to see, that it is almost impossible to meet healthy people. There are much people who are perceived as healthy, but if you look closer - they are not. E.g. almost nobody is really stable in life, because if one murders their family, they won't be stable anymore and thus it is obvious that their happiness depends on external circumstances.

Moreover, almost nobody is rooted in actual reality, because nowadays there are no real challenges people are facing.

I don't know about that. In my opinion people are facing more challenges these days. Crime rate is exponentially higher as compared to 200 hundred years ago, of course you can argue that life is great in general because of the internet. 

But I get this feeling that most people don't want to talk to each other even if they have internet. 

There's no intimacy. 

[IAmReallyImportant]

14 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

I don't know about that. In my opinion people are facing more challenges these days. Crime rate is exponentially higher as compared to 200 hundred years ago, of course you can argue that life is great in general because of the internet. 

But I get this feeling that most people don't want to talk to each other even if they have internet. 

There's no intimacy. 

There are less homeless people, comparabe much less slaves. More opportunities etc. You cannot really compare the crime rates because laws were different accross time and space.

Yes, there is no authentic intimacy, that sucks, too.

If I go out I often get compliments  and then I feel sick because it's so cheap and public that someone wants to manipulate you. And even if not, then tehy should leave it because it just looks silly.

Instead of listening properly, many act put-upon with an agenda to get what they want instead of having authentic interest.

Edited December 14, 2022 by IAmReallyImportant

[IAmReallyImportant]

I think the biggest problem is not, that people don't talk to each other.

The biggest issue is, that they don't really listen to each other and chasing stimulations instead of qualitative good experiences.

[IAmReallyImportant]

Because, so much is available most people are not greatful for what they have or can get.

The positive part is that it becomes obvious that nothing is really special.

If something or somebody appears to be great - around the corner is somebody outperforming this person.

Because in dating it is about properties like how you look, how much money you have, how much you know or what close you wear and if you are funny.

Thus, everybody to date is always a compromise. But nobody wants to be a compromise, so everybody deludes themselves that their relationship is something special, even if the partner probably would chose someone else who appeals better, if the person would be available.

That is why this romance thing etablished by hollywood is so fake. Basically one could have an arranged marriage and it wouldn't be much different. I think they turn out quite similar than relationships arranged via dating apps based on features who appear to be desirable for a person but isn't actually that crucial for a good relationship.

Edited December 14, 2022 by IAmReallyImportant

[Tyler Robinson]

3 minutes ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

Because, so much is available most people are not greatful for what they have or can get.

The positive part is that it becomes obvious that nothing is really special.

If something or somebody appears to be great - around the corner is somebody outperforming this person.

Because in dating it is about properties like how you look, how much money you have, how much you know or what close you wear and if you are funny.

Thus, everybody to date is always a compromise. But nobody wants to be a compromise, so everybody deludes themselves that their relationship is something special, even if the partner probably would chose someone else who appeals better, if the person would be available.

That is why this romance thing etablished by hollywood is so fake. Basically one could have an arranged marriage and it wouldn't be much different. I think they turn out quite similar than relationships arranged via dating apps based on features who appear to be desirable for a person but isn't actually that crucial for a good relationship.

Most people don't need each other anymore, they have become too independent. I see a certain shallowness in people. 

The level of spirituality has gone down. I think people were more spiritually rooted a 100/300 years ago. 

[Gesundheit2]

Self-esteem is a newfound western concept. Socializing and mating are prior to it.

[Eyowey]

It makes sense to want a soft warm teammate who sees the world through the same lens as you. Even if you have high self-esteem. But it should not become an obsession.