Feeling innately worthless

[Karmadhi]

Hi everyone

I have been feeling a bit down these last few days when I did an introspection regarding myself and my accomplishments.

Everything in my life that I have achieved I have had to fucking work for and was often in bad circumstances.

I am not smart (not dumb either) yet through studying a lot managed to get a full education from one of the best universities in Europe (where I live)

I am short and naturally skinny yet managed to build a relatively good body that gets compliments whenever the topic of fitness gets brought up.

I am an international where I live (non-EU) and yet managed to get myself a good job and a valid work permit (it is harder to get it as an international).

I suck at learning languages yet managed to learn English and now I am learning French (doing B2 level atm).

And lastly, I am naturally introverted, shy and managed to create a vast circle of friends (both guys and girls)  from different countries, personalities etc to the point where I am fulfilled (from a social point of view). When I was younger people did not want to hang out with me often because of my introversion and that often hurt me a lot. Now I can say it is relatively fixed (from friendship and social stuff perspective)

Now I am trying to improve my skills with girls, getting used to cold approach, flirting and making moves (I sucked at all of these, still do but less due to practice). I intend to make it a focus of my life for the next year since the other domains have been taken care off. Even here, I am not good looking (prolly average), short, dark skinned and also introverted naturally (not high energy) and naturally scared to approach (am working on fixing it).

However, whenever I hear people talk about themselves and stuff I get this feeling like I am innately worthless. Like I have no strengths, no talents, nothing.

The only "talent" u can say I have is resourcefulness (good problem solver for my life issues) and open-mindness (ability to shift paradigms etc relatively easy for someone my age). Also natural curiousity since I was young, I always enjoyed learning about new things and currently I have developed a reading habit where I read 10 pages every day (never miss them) and will bump it up to 15 pages , it adds to around 15-20 books per year. 

It makes me feel sometimes like I am shit.

I just wanted to share this.

Love you all

 

Edited December 14, 2022 by Karmadhi

[John Paul]

Give yourself a break. You are good. The bad times won’t last forever,,, I have to tell myself too.

[hoodrow trillson]

How long have you been feeling this way about yourself?

And also are you on social media like Instagram/FB?

[Javfly33]

Hey brother, thanks for sharing.

The solution is to stop trying to better yourself, stop trying to be something "better" (as if weren't you already fine), etc...

You need to stop so much the comparisons in your mind, need to stop taking yourself serious ,etc...

The more you are focused on yourself in this aspect (the aspect of "I need to do these things to become worthy", the less valuable you will feel, because it's bullshit).

I have struggled (and I do from time to time) with similar problems and the solution is to stop the mechanism altogether. There are some tools as psychedelics and similar substances that have relieved for me this mind-virus-energetic issue, but currently I'm working on solving it ideally completely "sober" on my own and make the solution stable for life.

If you ever need to talk my dms are open , much love.

[CameronsExploring]

I believe David Tian addresses the issue that you are talking about well. Try this video. 

 

[Karmadhi]

On 14/12/2022 at 10:04 PM, John Paul said:

Give yourself a break. You are good. The bad times won’t last forever,,, I have to tell myself too

Thanks man  

On 15/12/2022 at 1:53 AM, hoodrow trillson said:

How long have you been feeling this way about yourself?

And also are you on social media like Instagram/FB?

Years at this point. Yes I use instagram.

On 15/12/2022 at 2:41 AM, Javfly33 said:

here are some tools as psychedelics and similar substances that have relieved for me this mind-virus-energetic issue, but currently I'm working on solving it ideally completely "sober" on my own and make the solution stable for life.

How do you do that?

On 15/12/2022 at 2:41 AM, Javfly33 said:

If you ever need to talk my dms are open , much love

Thanks man appreciate it  

 

On 15/12/2022 at 3:25 AM, CameronsExploring said:

believe David Tian addresses the issue that you are talking about well. Try this video

Thanks for the share  

[Vlad_]

On 12/14/2022 at 9:12 AM, Karmadhi said:

Hi everyone

I have been feeling a bit down these last few days when I did an introspection regarding myself and my accomplishments.

Everything in my life that I have achieved I have had to fucking work for and was often in bad circumstances.

I am not smart (not dumb either) yet through studying a lot managed to get a full education from one of the best universities in Europe (where I live)

I am short and naturally skinny yet managed to build a relatively good body that gets compliments whenever the topic of fitness gets brought up.

I am an international where I live (non-EU) and yet managed to get myself a good job and a valid work permit (it is harder to get it as an international).

I suck at learning languages yet managed to learn English and now I am learning French (doing B2 level atm).

And lastly, I am naturally introverted, shy and managed to create a vast circle of friends (both guys and girls)  from different countries, personalities etc to the point where I am fulfilled (from a social point of view). When I was younger people did not want to hang out with me often because of my introversion and that often hurt me a lot. Now I can say it is relatively fixed (from friendship and social stuff perspective)

Now I am trying to improve my skills with girls, getting used to cold approach, flirting and making moves (I sucked at all of these, still do but less due to practice). I intend to make it a focus of my life for the next year since the other domains have been taken care off. Even here, I am not good looking (prolly average), short, dark skinned and also introverted naturally (not high energy) and naturally scared to approach (am working on fixing it).

However, whenever I hear people talk about themselves and stuff I get this feeling like I am innately worthless. Like I have no strengths, no talents, nothing.

The only "talent" u can say I have is resourcefulness (good problem solver for my life issues) and open-mindness (ability to shift paradigms etc relatively easy for someone my age). Also natural curiousity since I was young, I always enjoyed learning about new things and currently I have developed a reading habit where I read 10 pages every day (never miss them) and will bump it up to 15 pages , it adds to around 15-20 books per year. 

It makes me feel sometimes like I am shit.

I just wanted to share this.

Love you all

 

Hello friend.

Unfortunately, with this kind of mentality you will never find true peace, confidence and self-esteem.

All the things that you do are good, you're developing yourself, but it seems like you're deriving your sense of identity out of the things you do. You have some kind of criteria that defines your self-value. You need to understand the criteria you hold is highly subjective and you can't evaluate yourself or anybody trough it.  

You should be able to feel worthy in any given circumstances.

You are worthy because you exist, your self-expression is your gift. 

[hyruga]

Your life is worth more than a cockroach or rat. But if you have only one min left to live, your life is worth less than a cockroach ?.

[Roy]

It sounds like you accomplished a lot in spite of being innately "worthless" and "sucking" at so much. Perhaps you should consider your view of yourself and emotions you are feeling are fundamentally flawed and need to be replaced, or rather something better be uncovered.

Look into learning about NLP and some exercises you can do with that, it might help you.

Edited December 26, 2022 by Roy

[meta_male]

@Karmadhi Hey man, sorry to hear you feel this way  Maybe you find hope in hearing that some personality types peak later in life. Chance is your exactly where you need to be right now.

On 14.12.2022 at 3:12 PM, Karmadhi said:

However, whenever I hear people talk about themselves and stuff

Do you have an example of what they're talking about exactly?

[Karmadhi]

On 26/12/2022 at 11:04 AM, Roy said:

It sounds like you accomplished a lot in spite of being innately "worthless" and "sucking" at so much. Perhaps you should consider your view of yourself and emotions you are feeling are fundamentally flawed and need to be replaced, or rather something better be uncovered.

Due to hard work and resourcefulness not because of talent.

On 26/12/2022 at 11:04 AM, Roy said:

Look into learning about NLP and some exercises you can do with that, it might help you

Any good sources for it?

On 27/12/2022 at 1:01 AM, meta_male said:

Do you have an example of what they're talking about exactly?

They have many things easier due to natural strengths and talents. Not all things but at least some. For me it is close to none. My only strenghts are hard work and resourcefulness which I don't really consider natural talents.