How to get over a guy I madly fell in love with?

[LastThursday]

On 11/12/2022 at 1:31 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

I fell in love with a guy and we broke up but my mind just cannot forget him.

I'm sorry you're feeling pain. Be easy on yourself, there's no pressure to pretend he never existed. And there's no shame in heartbreak, just allow yourself to feel into it for a while.

Some relationships just take a lot longer to get over than others. Unless you're very lucky, there's always some unresolved emotions around a breakup and that's why it's difficult to let go. Give it time don't rush.

[Tyler Robinson]

 

1 hour ago, LastThursday said:

I'm sorry you're feeling pain. Be easy on yourself, there's no pressure to pretend he never existed. And there's no shame in heartbreak, just allow yourself to feel into it for a while.

Some relationships just take a lot longer to get over than others. Unless you're very lucky, there's always some unresolved emotions around a breakup and that's why it's difficult to let go. Give it time don't rush.

Imagine trying to forget someone who you thought was a heaven sent, a true soulmate. It hurts like a dagger. 

During this period I don't even feel attracted to anyone, because I still got feelings. 

[LastThursday]

36 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

It hurts like a dagger. 

Agreed, that's a very good description. It's a grieving process and it takes it's own path and time to resolve. You can't switch your feelings off like a switch and to be honest you shouldn't even try. 

[ThermalTide]

20 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Just your nonsense projection. This is an outlet for people to dump their issues and concerns and seek help for it. I thought in similar ways about a guy here years ago when he would constantly ask for help. Then he reminded me that this is a place where people come from help. So if someone is constantly asking for help, it would appear like they're playing victim which is not the case. It's almost like saying if a person visits a gym, that's because they are in bad health. Not necessarily. They are just doing it probably to be in better shape. It does not mean that there's something wrong with them. 

I'm a sensitive person so what I'm going through is not playing victim but an actual struggle. I struggle with these states of mind, emotions and feelings. These thoughts stay in my mind. He was an important part of my life and my mind can't forget him. 

And I try to remove him sometimes but it's like an addiction. I'm hooked on him like crack. And now my mind doesn't like anything without him. He got me addicted. 

I used to laugh hysterically with him. I used to feel bubbles and butterflies in my tummy when I used to talk to him. He used to make me insanely happy. 

He would talk to me and his voice used to fill me with so much laughter that I used to remember it for hours after the conversation was long over. He swept me off my feet. I used to giggle for hours. 

Then I judged him for being bisexual. And we broke up. 

We were like childhood sweethearts always having super fun with each other. Now he has moved on and I'm feeling like a lonely bird sulking. 

It's depressing seriously without him. Actually he was the only person in the world that could make me laugh and giggle. He was very loving and sweet and very kind and attentive to me. 

So I miss him very badly. It's like losing your best friend from childhood. 

I think of him every minute. It's too hard. I don't think I can completely forget him.. 

Maybe I can think less frequently about him but I can't completely forget him. 

My heart is terribly stuck on him and it just doesn't want to let go. He was my precious lover friend soulmate kinda thing 

 

 

this dude told you something you really needed to hear and your response is "just a nonsense projection" lmfao

[something_else]

20 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

So if someone is constantly asking for help, it would appear like they're playing victim

In my field of work there’s a term called a help vampire. Someone who asks for help so much to avoid doing work to change or improve, basically.

Not saying this is you at all, I’m arguing generally against the point you make about asking for help a lot. And my point is that asking for help all the time is often a way your mind can distract you from doing the work that really matters.

You get hits of dopamine when you ask for help and people reply, it makes you feel like you’re making progress and doing work even if that’s not necessarily the case.

Again, I know you may take this personally but I don’t think this applies to you. I’m simply arguing against your general point about asking for help a lot.

[Tyler Robinson]

@something_else no. I don't see it that way at all. Some people need help. So they will ask for help. They will get whatever help they need and use it for their growth. 

In any case, it's their loss if they slowed their own growth. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

3 hours ago, ThermalTide said:

this dude told you something you really needed to hear and your response is "just a nonsense projection" lmfao

Because I'm not playing victim. When someone is trying to express their concerns and struggles, calling them victim playing creates invalidation. Best not to engage in that or just not try to help because you make it worse. I addressed this point in this thread -