How to get over a guy I madly fell in love with?

[Tyler Robinson]

 

I fell in love with a guy and we broke up but my mind just cannot forget him. He is in my mind. It's been a long while, more than a few months and I just cannot get him out of my mind. He broke my heart really badly. I felt shattered but I was insanely attracted to him and in love with him. He was extremely lovey dovey with me. Now that he is gone, I can't imagine how cold hearted he was. He just didn't give a damn about my feelings. He never wanted anything to do with me. It hurts everyday. I have been in and out of many relationships and they never hurt this bad and I usually got over them easily, not quickly but easily. 

But this one sticks out like a thorn. It doesn't die down. It's not like I'm putting any effort into forgetting him because I'm not. I was just madly into him 

I feel like he broke my mind.. 

What should I do?  

I'm ashamed of myself sometimes.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eit85FAj4wg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7p3-MJJm_R0

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVqANXVTLN4

http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2012/05/surrendering-i-letting-go-of-suffering.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU1Rp184IT4

 

[Eyowey]

Scarcity is the problem here. You need to have so many different sources of happiness that he becomes as insignificant as an oreo.

[Tyler Robinson]

9 minutes ago, Eyowey said:

Scarcity is the problem here. You need to have so many different sources of happiness that he becomes as insignificant as an oreo.

Cheerio. 

[Tyler Robinson]

4 minutes ago, blueberries said:

The more you think about someone or something, the more it becomes an addiction. And it's hard to go from thinking about him 100% of the time to 0% of the time.

Set yourself a fixed period of time every day when you can think about him as much as you want without feeling guilty. Say, 6-7pm. Do what you have to do - write love poetry, listen to sad songs, go on his social media.

But outside of that period be stricter and do what it takes to distract yourself. Work, exercise, watch TV, talk to people, anything that gives your brain the opportunity to focus on something else.

Over time, reduce the period of time you spend thinking about him.

Thank you so much for taking your time to respond. This is very practical and helpful. 

 

[Gesundheit2]

He's imaginary, that ought to do it.

You're welcome.

[Chives99]

You need a friend right now, have you got mates you can hang out with, my mate just went through a breakup and we're hitting the bars and clubs next weekend. If not going out and doing social stuff is a great way to take your mind off stuff and meet new people, you'll be ready to date again given enough time but just try enjoying your life worse thing is to be on your own ruminating.

[Tyler Robinson]

@Chives99 I don't like being with friends. 

 

[Chives99]

@Tyler Robinson do you like going to social stuff, whatever your interests are they'll be a social group for it if you live in a populated place, im from the countryside so i had to get out of that environment as people around me were far too conservative and now i can chat to like minded folk. If you're on your own it will just go round and round in your head. therapy and psychedelics are also a good addition to this

[Tyler Robinson]

@Chives99 even if there were like minded folks I won't hang out with them. I'm too stiff mentally. I can't hang out with people. I always need a one-to-one intimate connection with a person, I'm that type so I prefer a romantic connection as opposed to a friendship. 

 

[r0ckyreed]

 

[Tyler Robinson]

@r0ckyreed he is one of my favorites. 

 

[petar8p]

5 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

He's imaginary, that ought to do it.

You're welcome.

Spiritual bypassing?

Perhaps?

[petar8p]

2 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

even if there were like minded folks I won't hang out with them. I'm too stiff mentally. I can't hang out with people. I always need a one-to-one intimate connection with a person, I'm that type so I prefer a romantic connection as opposed to a friendship. 

DISCLAIMER: I will write something that may seem harsh.

My intention is not to hurt you or neglect what you're going through..

 

I feel like you like to play victim a lot. 

Main focus of this forum is self-actualization and asking questions/bringing discussions to further our development and understanding.

 

Some things need to be faced in life.

 

It's hard when you spend a long time avoiding your personal problems and weaknesses.

 

But you deserve it. 

 

You deserve to change. You deserve positive changes in your life necessary to be healthy and fulfilled as a human being. To be independent and self-sustaining so you can have an easier time introducing the right partner into your life when the time comes.

 

It is too much of a burden for any partner to be accountable for so many of the roles and needs you have socially, emotionally, intellectually etc. Nobody wants nor can be all things for someone. That is just pure romanticising.

 

We're social creatures and having our place in the world is something we need to figure out and move towards.

 

We need to explore ourselves and our preferences. Experiment with different people and find ways in which we like to bond with others and express ourselves freely in a safe environment. 

 

Having hobbies that will refresh us and careers that will push ourself to do and be our best.

 

Now the only question is where can you start? What do you think?

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, petar8p said:

DISCLAIMER: I will write something that may seem harsh.

My intention is not to hurt you or neglect what you're going through..

 

I feel like you like to play victim a lot. 

Main focus of this forum is self-actualization and asking questions/bringing discussions to further our development and understanding.

 

Some things need to be faced in life.

 

It's hard when you spend a long time avoiding your personal problems and weaknesses.

 

But you deserve it. 

 

You deserve to change. You deserve positive changes in your life necessary to be healthy and fulfilled as a human being. To be independent and self-sustaining so you can have an easier time introducing the right partner into your life when the time comes.

 

It is too much of a burden for any partner to be accountable for so many of the roles and needs you have socially, emotionally, intellectually etc. Nobody wants nor can be all things for someone. That is just pure romanticising.

 

We're social creatures and having our place in the world is something we need to figure out and move towards.

 

We need to explore ourselves and our preferences. Experiment with different people and find ways in which we like to bond with others and express ourselves freely in a safe environment. 

 

Having hobbies that will refresh us and careers that will push ourself to do and be our best.

 

Now the only question is where can you start? What do you think?

Just your nonsense projection. This is an outlet for people to dump their issues and concerns and seek help for it. I thought in similar ways about a guy here years ago when he would constantly ask for help. Then he reminded me that this is a place where people come from help. So if someone is constantly asking for help, it would appear like they're playing victim which is not the case. It's almost like saying if a person visits a gym, that's because they are in bad health. Not necessarily. They are just doing it probably to be in better shape. It does not mean that there's something wrong with them. 

I'm a sensitive person so what I'm going through is not playing victim but an actual struggle. I struggle with these states of mind, emotions and feelings. These thoughts stay in my mind. He was an important part of my life and my mind can't forget him. 

And I try to remove him sometimes but it's like an addiction. I'm hooked on him like crack. And now my mind doesn't like anything without him. He got me addicted. 

I used to laugh hysterically with him. I used to feel bubbles and butterflies in my tummy when I used to talk to him. He used to make me insanely happy. 

He would talk to me and his voice used to fill me with so much laughter that I used to remember it for hours after the conversation was long over. He swept me off my feet. I used to giggle for hours. 

Then I judged him for being bisexual. And we broke up. 

We were like childhood sweethearts always having super fun with each other. Now he has moved on and I'm feeling like a lonely bird sulking. 

It's depressing seriously without him. Actually he was the only person in the world that could make me laugh and giggle. He was very loving and sweet and very kind and attentive to me. 

So I miss him very badly. It's like losing your best friend from childhood. 

I think of him every minute. It's too hard. I don't think I can completely forget him.. 

Maybe I can think less frequently about him but I can't completely forget him. 

My heart is terribly stuck on him and it just doesn't want to let go. He was my precious lover friend soulmate kinda thing 

 

 

[petar8p]

https://youtu.be/SSrlfxcEULo

 

I highly encourage you watch this video ?

 

I really think it will help you a lot.

Edited December 12, 2022 by petar8p

[Gesundheit2]

5 hours ago, petar8p said:

Spiritual bypassing?

Perhaps?

No, he's actually literally imaginary. They didn't even meet in person.

[Tyler Robinson]

33 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

No, he's actually literally imaginary. They didn't even meet in person.

How do you know we didn't meet in person?

He wasn't on the forum. This relationship was outside the forum. 

 

Edited December 12, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

7 hours ago, petar8p said:

https://youtu.be/SSrlfxcEULo

 

I highly encourage you watch this video ?

 

I really think it will help you a lot.

Thanks 

[John Paul]

Take mushrooms or smoke dmt…?  
 

or maybe get into ridiculously good shape