Is it possible to be engulfed by ego? Point of no return

[DemiNingen]

I've been following a lot of various teachers, done some psychedelics and reached a higher understanding. However, in a sense, I feel like I've enlightened my ego. Just knowing that is one of the hardest burdens anyone could have. I feel like my own self, essence has been engulfed by an ego and there is no return to that original self. 

[Kksd74628]

@DemiNingen

What not returning to original self means to you. After you have defined that to me then we can begin the inquiry.

[DemiNingen]

Your original essence, the ability to imagine something on your own, to not "borrow" from others. It may sound like i'm talking about ego, but I think it's the contrary. Basically if you enlighten your ego, you become a narcissist and it feels like there is no way out of it. You'll constantly be riding on other people's energy, in a sense.

[DemiNingen]

Another way to say it might be losing your mind. Or at least it feels like it. Like, if you wish to return to who you were it's gonna take a lot of courage and work.

[Kksd74628]

@DemiNingen

I don't just get what you're trying to say, sorry. Maybe try writing longer response and really focus to how you express yourself, because right now your expression feels extremely messy at least for me.

[SeaMonster]

One of the perils of psychedelics is what Carl Jung called "inflation."  I think this may be what you're experiencing.  I would not do any more psychedelics, and dedicate myself to humility and service to counteract the effects (it is doable.)

Edited December 14, 2022 by SeaMonster

[puporing]

On 11/12/2022 at 2:20 PM, DemiNingen said:

Your original essence, the ability to imagine something on your own, to not "borrow" from others. It may sound like i'm talking about ego, but I think it's the contrary. Basically if you enlighten your ego, you become a narcissist and it feels like there is no way out of it. You'll constantly be riding on other people's energy, in a sense.

Narcissism is a result of trauma/lack of love usually and a very dissociated state, but if you're acknowledging it it's probably not a full blown NPD case more likely BPD (but don't take me too serious there's very little info to go off of..), if that's what you're pointing us to. I would recommend therapy since you seem to be receptive.

Edited December 14, 2022 by puporing

[Breakingthewall]

On 10/12/2022 at 8:40 PM, DemiNingen said:

I've been following a lot of various teachers, done some psychedelics and reached a higher understanding. However, in a sense, I feel like I've enlightened my ego. Just knowing that is one of the hardest burdens anyone could have. I feel like my own self, essence has been engulfed by an ego and there is no return to that original self. 

I don't know what are you talking about. the aim of this work is to dissolve the barriers of the ego and realize the infinite and become infinite. first once. then, at will, with meditation. make the walls so thin that it is easy to walk through them. the truth is very simple: we are an infinite mind creating this moment. the job is to open up to this truth  and realize it in the direct experience as often as is possible. everything else is stories

[Cathal]

Unless psychedelics somehow aid you into bringing you to the point you have to experience your own humility of views and opinions of the 'experiences' of Truth, you have a lot to work on to pull yourself out of ignorance of what Truth is. “The tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao." - Tao Te Ching

So let's not get lost in the great egotistical elation and addiction into talking about the Truth and work on being Truth, here and now, this

 

[Breakingthewall]

On 10/12/2022 at 8:40 PM, DemiNingen said:

 

truth is not conceptual. It's something impossible to understand. it is something that manifests itself. what we do is prepare the ground for that to happen. 

[How to be wise]

@DemiNingen It’s actually good to inflate your ego first before you destroy it. In fact, it’s essential. It’s what I did before I became enlightened 3 years ago. 

[Kalki Avatar]

If your desire for truth is so big that you are willing to die in all the sense of the word, no karma can stop you. 

[SourceCodo]

On 12/11/2022 at 1:20 PM, DemiNingen said:

Your original essence, the ability to imagine something on your own, to not "borrow" from others. It may sound like i'm talking about ego, but I think it's the contrary. Basically if you enlighten your ego, you become a narcissist and it feels like there is no way out of it. You'll constantly be riding on other people's energy, in a sense.

I’m not sure that this “original” essence actually exists in any real sense relating to you, the experiencer. 
 

You were taught almost everything you know by watching, hearing, experiencing, whatever. And what wasn’t taught was extrapolated from what you’ve already learned. Limited to no originality.
 

What of you is original? Outside of the exclusivity of being the only one that can be you… 

[VincentArogya]

When you die, the mind dies. With the mind is dead, you return to non-returning

Edited December 21, 2022 by VincentArogya

[Leo Gura]

Spiritual ego is def a major trap of this work, so be careful.

The solution to that is having genuine awakenings into no-self.

Edited December 21, 2022 by Leo Gura

[Razard86]

On 12/20/2022 at 10:18 PM, VincentArogya said:

When you die, the mind dies. With the mind is dead, you return to non-returning

There is no death. In fact you are dead right now.