Drastic Mood Swings, Living Someone Else's Life, Enlightenment Is Absolute Crap

[Oleg F]

Hi,
First of all let me start by saying that I read all sorts of self-development books, I've heard all the cliche advice about doing what you love / having a purpose and yada yada yada.

At one point, I was:
meditating consistently
had brief out-of-body experiences
had measurable Law of Attraction results
learned all the new age self-development jargon , etc... and I thought I was this awesome enlightened guy who loves everyone and helps everyone.

That lasted maybe a few months until I realized that it's all just a silly phase . OBJECTIVELY looking at my life, absolutely nothing changed and I still have wild mood swings going from bliss to depressed in a matter of seconds.

I want to do what I love. What I love sometimes includes meditating in solitude for a month. I also have expensive hobbies which can cost upwards of $4k per day (currently unable to enjoy my hobbies).
I don't need to have a purpose in order to feel fulfilled. I feel fulfilled when I: 1.meditate 2.spend time with my family 3.enjoy my hobbies.

I hate constantly thinking about how to earn money, I hate wasting my time on earning money. Yes, I am already a minimalist, I excluded all expenses which don't make me feel fulfilled.
Meditation and enlightenment doesn't pay your medical bills and your property taxes in USA.
I spend roughly 60hrs a week earning money just to cover basic expenses for me and my family. This takes away from what I really love doing.
I have these crazy mood swings almost daily because of this.

Edited February 26, 2017 by Oleg F

[Principium Nexus]

It indeed comes in waves or phases, but the pursuit of self-development/self-enquiry/enlightenment is not nonsense. You have to work your whole life to get these things in tune and aligned and it's not flipping some switch and everything is suddenly perfectly fine.

I do think these things can blow up some dust and make things look worse in the short-term, but in the long run it will only help to realize better what you want and how to get there.

If those expensive hobbies bring you great joy then don't hesitate to do them if you can afford it. If you feel like you need to earn a lot just to be happy but don't like the time you work, then consider changing one of the two. There are so many things you don't have to pay for and can bring much joy also.

Please don't blame it on self-actualization etc. Since those are only tools.

[Elton]

@Oleg F i can totally feel you... But I have established a meditation habit ya this year I've skipped few days but I'm re commited to do it everyday single day till I die. 

Imagine you could do something you love and earn money doing that? 

It would be awesome. 

[Oleg F]

I really love three things in life 1. being in solitude/meditating 2.spending time with my family 3.racing cars and flying helicopters
I haven't been able to figure out any way to even make $1 while doing those things.

[Principium Nexus]

@Oleg F I know some people do air tours through grand canyon for example?

[Oleg F]

7 hours ago, Principium Nexus said:

@Oleg F I know some people do air tours through grand canyon for example?

Good example.
I could start talking about all the reasons why doing air tours wouldn't work in my situation. But that's just my mind's flawed point of view (seeking excuses and reasons why it wouldn't work) .. so at least I understand that much.

I too see people who make money effortlessly doing what they love. Sometimes doing the most ridiculous things which surprisingly brings them an income stream.

I've failed at multiple small businesses (which I tried to connect to my hobbies).
I had good business models and excellent profit margins.
Every single failure was due to me simply losing interest and abandoning the business.

I can't seem to resonate with the concept of spending time and energy on making money. It seems like a waste of my precious time.