I hate the feeling of being controlled, Y??

[Julian gabriel]

I hate the pull of sleep and food and using the bathroom and porn and girls because I feel like I cannot resist the pull of them. 
 

Why do I want to feel like everything which happens is my OWN decision? 
Why do I want to feel like I am NOT being controlled by something external?

Edited December 6, 2022 by Julian gabriel

[JosephKnecht]

You want absolute freedom. 

To be absolutely free, you have to relinquish all forms. 

You don't want to give up your form, but you want your form to control other forms.

So actually, you have wrongly convinced yourself that you want absolute freedom while you only want to be a dictator of forms.   

[Ulax]

@Julian gabriel I'd consider looking into your childhood, especially the relational dynamics with your parents.

Alice Miller's the Drama of the gifted child could be a useful start.

If you want a reading list recommendation I can link that for you too. Just ask and I'll link it for you.

[gettoefl]

your ego your personality your avatar seeks to be a god, to be untouchable to be unstoppable to be insuperable to be supreme and all powerful

i call the shots in this lifetime for i am all that and mine is the way the truth the life

truth though is that the person looking back at you in the mirror is but a deceptive appearance you mistakenly misidentify as you

you cling desperately to the reins of this image and try to control it and the world at large

just watch yourself going through these contortions and your absolute nature can then shine brighly

Quote

The ego is an iceberg. See it. Witness it. Melt it. Melt it in deep love, so it disappears and you become part of the ocean. Osho

 

Edited December 7, 2022 by gettoefl