How to accept and make peace with your death?

[at_anchor]

I don't want to die!

My whole life was full of the wrong people who ruined me and exploited maximally. I could never fit in and live normally because of them and now I can't as well, anywhere on this planet. It feels like grave injustice to see them getting away with so much and getting so much while I'm leaving this planet with just thoughts and feelings of regret and deep hurt from what they have done to me. Of course, I can't prove, explain and tell everything to get justice,  otherwise I would have an opportunity to live. But I don't.

So how do I accept death with a past full of abuse, scams, manipulations, lies aimed at robbing me of everything? I guess I cannot accept it. I can only die in deep not fear, not pain, but deep sense of injustice. 

[LSD-Rumi]

You start, therapy, healing, meditation, shadow work and in a few years, you are as good as new and even better.

Don't underestimate the healing abilities in Humans. We cen heal our psychological wound, just like we heal our physical ones, it just needs more time and effort.

• Most likely now, you are not taking healing as a serious stuff, where it should be one of your top priorities
• Stop thinking in the past, let it go. Foucs on yourself and how you should heal yourself to have any chance at happiness and peace.

[at_anchor]

39 minutes ago, LSD-Rumi said:

You start, therapy, healing, meditation, shadow work and in a few years, you are as good as new and even better.

I cannot live with these people, and yet I cannot go anywhere to avoid them. So there is no healing.

[at_anchor]

i don't feel safe and at ease with people that have robbed and abused me since i was born but covered it up and now are free ad able to defile me while i cannot show the truth and make the law take care of itself.

horror filles my soul when a beast like this walks in, approaches me all quiet until it finds something to poke me at.

then i have to retreat to a place i feel so bad in and cannot do anything from this dirty evil thing. 

how do i get it away from me? how do iget them away from me? they harrass and then i end up in this emotional state afterwards. or worse. and the worst part is that i am an easy target because of something that has hurt and damaged me and still is hurting and damaging me from inside, requiring healing and peace to not hurt so much.

why do I have to die because of people that are so selfish and lying and manipulative and yeah

[LSD-Rumi]

5 hours ago, at_anchor said:

I cannot live with these people, and yet I cannot go anywhere to avoid them. So there is no healing.

Start your healing yourself by making sure you are independant and away from such people. This is essential, then you can able to start letting go of the past. This is your top priority to get away from those bad people. You cannot do any serious healing while in a bad in evironment. 

And I also wanted to say that It won't be an easy process. You will have to face a lot of uncomfortable and negative feelings. expect no less than a year of constant  shadow work and therapy to eliminate the bulk of the trauma.

But the problem is that most people are not serious enough about healing and they want to keep the victim mindset and keep repeating stories about how everyone hurt them. You don't want to be that person. keep your focus on the future and on yourself. Forget and forgive the past, bad things happen in life. This is how your attitude should be. Focus on healing not on the trauma and the stories.

[at_anchor]

1 hour ago, LSD-Rumi said:

Start your healing yourself by making sure you are independant and away from such people.

I am in a position of a tortured and wounded slave. How do you think I can achieve independence when my masters, those devils above me are not going to allow it. And even if I found a way to somehow survive on the streets and in that way achieve independence, healing around here, in this poverty is not gonna work bro. Not to mention that healing is just getting back my strength and while I'm preoccupied with that, they are gonna....

Which is exactly why I'm trying to figure out how to accept my premature death, cause that is how it has to be. 

Edited December 5, 2022 by at_anchor

[LSD-Rumi]

@at_anchor Start by taking a job and renting your own home. Don't surrender to such submissive thoughts! be a fighter! 

[at_anchor]

@LSD-Rumi what a wonderful idea, why haven't I thought about it?

[LSD-Rumi]

1 hour ago, at_anchor said:

@LSD-Rumi what a wonderful idea, why haven't I thought about it?

I am just encourging you to take action 

[Nilsi]

Disobedience - that is the nobility of slaves!

[puporing]

That sounds insanely hard. I would go two pronged approach ..one is seeking refuge in God and knowing that you're Eternal. The second is see if you can ask the Universe and get help/a response on what creative solutions might come your way to set you free. You have nothing to lose, keep asking.

Edited December 11, 2022 by puporing

[Cathal]

@at_anchor Do you want to die as a victim or a winner?

I don't doubt you have experienced a lot of pain and abuse perhaps to a degree I couldn't ever understand. But I'm asking you, do you want to die forever a victim to the experiences you had or do you want to be free of their grasp? Because both are a possiblity

[StarStruck]

You have to learn from your traumas. These traumas taught you how brutal survival is. It is really up to you to accept the lessons or not. You need to develop a fighting mindset.  

[StarStruck]

You have to learn from your traumas. These traumas taught you how brutal survival is. It is really up to you to accept the lessons or not. You need to develop a fighting mindset.  

[flowboy]

@at_anchor 

Might help.

[at_anchor]

@flowboy that is awesome, but I have a hard time not being sceptical about such topics, and also about just spirits communicating to you through tarot, cards or the like. It is kind of hard to say whether it's gambling or real devils work. Sometimes it really appears real, but I don't know how to test it, the tarot kind stuff that I'm kind of experimenting with or just blindly trusting from time to time.

 

[IAmReallyImportant]

@at_anchor

I feel you. They shouldnt have done this to you. They are not allowed to behave in this way.

If you feel bitter, it nourishes them and they will comeback to hurt you again.

This cycle will never end until you accept it. Maybe they will torture you anyways for years but accepting is the best thing you can do. Suicide is too risky and too complicated + much work involved. You can always escape financially.

Edited December 13, 2022 by IAmReallyImportant

[flowboy]

@at_anchor  You can't test it, but it does kind of make for a coherent logic.

• According to near-death-experiencers and pre-birth-rememberers, we come here to be human in order to practice being trusting and loving in the face of fear, pain and adversity. It's supposed to be hard and that's the game (according to that group of people. It's anecdotal but consistent)
• If you would be able to be sure, by testing it, absolute science, skepticism, then it would be easy to be trusting and loving. Because it doesn't require a leap of faith. And so it defeats the purpose, because then everyone can be convinced that everything is for their own good, and it would remove the fear that is part of why they came here.
• A test that we do have, is what happens when we choose trust and love vs what happens when we choose doubt and fear. It's a free choice, but it can be observed that trusting leads to a better life and doubting leads to a worse life, with compounding effects over time. So in a way, isn't that enough?

If I were you I would just practice living as if all the bad stuff in your life was happening for you, with your utmost growth and expansion in mind, even if you don't believe it, and see what happens if you keep that up for a few weeks. What do you have to lose?