Enlightenment Experience

[Setty]

I had enlightenment experience yesterday and I would like to share it with anyone that is interested. It started when I was explaining to a friend how to meditate. And as I was explaning to him what to do during meditation I realized I am not doing the things I am saying to him myself. That was a little insight I had.

So when we started meditating I was determined to follow my own advice without exceptions. And there I was sitting thinking about absolutely nothing alongside the sensentions of the pressure between my eyebrows which was always normal for me during meditative sessions but now when it got worst I did not do anything about it. The pressure started to spread through the upper side of the brain and with each extention the pressure felt more and more like pain. Once the sensation started to drop along the sides of the brain I cound not call it a pressure it was genuine pain. It was freezing, burning, stinging you name it.

But the pain wasn't the only thing that was there. There was also this fear of death. Quite litteral fear of death like when you are in a car crash or when you almost fall from a high place. At this point I wanted to quit because this was some heavy shit. But then I remembered something Sadhguru said. Something along the lines: "To make this jump you either must be crazy or have absolute trust of somebody else's words" after that insight I continued.

At this point the sensation reached the bottom of my brain and something peculiar happened. I cound not say if the pain is bad or good. It was just there doing no harm just like any other sensation. And when I started to observe other sensations in my body they were doing the same thing. They weren't bad or good they just were. It was a lot like on LSD trip but with more clarity.

As I continued I started to have enormous amounts of insights. There were dozends of them flowing throughout my body like it was nothing. I was ecstatic I cound't wait to tell everybody about everything I found about it was so clear! Then I realized that everything I see has been already communicated. Either by Leo or any other guru I listened to. The infomation was always there I just cound't make sense of it because I wasn't aware enough.

Then I realized that all the insights I had were being conceptualized. The ego started to put labels on all the insights and it was the most interesting thing I wittnessed in my life. I was able to see the contrast between the labels and the truth! Just by focusing a little bit more I could make the label turn into the truth. And by lowering my focus the truth turned into a label. It was so bizarre it was just oscillating by my will.

And this was probably the reason I didn't stay enlightened. The truth was dimmer and dimmer and only the concepts remained. I did fight against it but the ego got the upper hand. I tried to make the distinction between the higher and lower self but that endeavor ended up just in splitting my personality in two.  The "higher self" and the "lower self" that were arguing between each other why we should or shoudn't get enlightened but I knew both of these entities were the same ego playing with it self to distract me from the truth so the split of my personality disappeared quite quicly.

So here I am not enlightened without the truth or the insights I had they are all gone. The only thing that remained is the pain in the brain area so I think now it will be quite easy to get into that state again but I don't want to get ahead of myself. Also sorry for the grammar mistakes I don't usually post and english is my second language so forgive me that.