Why would a woman approach a man?

[Koeke]

I, a 21 year old male, got approached by a woman yesterday, who I suppose was a few years older than me, telling me I was good looking and she asked me on a date. I said yes. Now, she wasn't the most beautiful woman out there, but decent looking. Her face at least. I didn't check out her body really but she had a healthy weight... Anyway, she told me she studied some kind of animation thing. High male ratio. In my view she shouldn't have a problem dating wise or sex wise. Where does she get the energy and commitment from to approach me? Mind you, she was quite "gamey" and nervous. She said something along the lines of: "Hi, I know this is forward but I saw you and thought you were really attractive. You probably get this a lot but I wanted to come and talk to you." ie.: a very standard opening line. Seemed like she had seen some videos about gaming. I responded by saying that I don't get told this more often. She said I should. What I'm trying to illustrate is that it was a bit try hard. Why didn't she have a good abundance of men interested in her such that she'd have no motivation to go through this inner struggle of approaching me? Don't get me wrong, I admire her for this, but still.. why? During the conversation I was actually reasonably disconcerted being suspicious of her intentions (like I imagine a woman would be if the roles were reversed) even though I could empathize well with her struggle and nervousness. Thing is, I just never saw this in a woman! 

Am I just her type? Does she just want sex? I told her before she asked me on a date that I'm only staying in the city for 2 weeks. Good chance this didn't compute for her and she wasn't really listening and running on a script. Again, she was quite nervous. A sentence or two later she asked me on a date and the 5 minute conversation afterwards didn't run too smoothly either.

I'm also doubting about going on the date. I would honestly only go to talk to a native Bostonian to get to know the city better and to have a chance at sex. 

How unusual is this considering she's probably just insecure and doesn't recognize it when guys (who probably aren't too smooth either) hit on her? 

Please enlighten me y'all!

[Roy]

Oh my god, a women approached you and asked you out which is the equivalent of sighting a unicorn and here you are questioning the shit out of it lol.

This is probably the only time in your entire life a woman will approach you and ask you out. Be happy man, go on the date and see what happens!

[Tyler Robinson]

This is what happens when a woman approaches a man. We get questioned and looked at with suspicion. 

*insert nuclear Facepalm. 

 

[Leo Gura]

It will happen once in a blue moon.

First girl I ever went on a date with worked at my gym and she started flirting with me after one of my workouts.

Don't forget, girls can get crushes too.

P.S. It isn't gamey, it's just an honest, natural approach. Good game mirrors natural mating patterns.

Edited December 4, 2022 by Leo Gura

[petar8p]

3 hours ago, blueberries said:

Most women aren't even going to consider their potential dating/sex "options" as legitimate options

can you explain this please?

[King Merk]

Yea dude sounds like you just lucked out and she was very attracted to you 

Go on a date with her and see what happens. Worst case scenario you lose a spleen 

[Eyowey]

It comes across as predatory. I would suspect women like that to be CIA agents. I've had some cute moments where I almost got approached. One girl said to the other ''I want him real bad'' the other said ''Go talk to him then'' and she said ''I don't think he's in school anymore''. That was her excuse for not approaching me. It almost happened god darn it. 

And one time a girl stopped what she was doing and pulled out her phone and shyely looked in my direction. She was talking to herself in a cute way ''Okay...stay calm...stay calm''. I love how cute girls can be sometimes. 

[King Merk]

@Eyowey yea if a women hits on you then she’s 100% cia agent

Edited December 4, 2022 by King Merk

[StarStruck]

It is in the nature of women to not be direct. It tells me she has a high libido or she is very insecure. And she is testing out for herself what her sexual and dating market value is. 

In my experience women approach indirectly. It is very obvious when you know the pattern. So they come and ask you an innocent question and probe to see how interested you are. It is all in the sub communication for women.

A hot girls doing a direct approach is like a cat acting like a dog. It is very rare. Girls act more like cats. It is a very different dynamic. 

Edited December 4, 2022 by StarStruck

[Koeke]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

P.S. It isn't gamey, it's just an honest, natural approach. Good game mirrors natural mating patterns.

Meaning: she just followed her natural attraction instincts? I agree. She was honest and it was natural but she was relying on a script because of her anxiousness. It was gamey in the sense that she wasn't really capable of having a relaxed conversation with another normal person with flaws. The anxiousness of the approach just filled her mind up too much I guess. Another reason for the rigid conversation was because I was taken aback a bit.

Edited December 4, 2022 by Koeke

[Koeke]

@blueberries @Roy thank you both. Makes sense.

[Koeke]

11 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

This is what happens when a woman approaches a man. We get questioned and looked at with suspicion. 

*insert nuclear Facepalm. 

 

Haha, I guess this just hadn't ever happened. In the original post I made my suspicions sound more serious than they were. I was just taken aback and was confused / deflecting the compliment.

I did say yes to the date though and will go. 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Koeke said:

Meaning: she just followed her natural attraction instincts? I agree. She was honest and it was natural but she was relying on a script because of her anxiousness. It was gamey in the sense that she wasn't really capable of having a relaxed conversation with another normal person with flaws. The anxiousness of the approach just filled her mind up too much I guess. Another reason for the rigid conversation was because I was taken aback a bit.

1) It wasn't a script, it's just what a normal person would naturally say in that situation.

2) Anxiety is normal when approaching a stranger and facing rejection.

Edited December 4, 2022 by Leo Gura

[petar8p]

On 12/4/2022 at 2:50 PM, blueberries said:

I mean that most women aren't attracted to 95% of the guys hitting on them.

So even if she gets hit on multiple times per week, she might go months without being hit on by someone she sees potential with.

Motivating her to ask you out.

On 12/4/2022 at 5:00 AM, blueberries said:

Most women aren't even going to consider their potential dating/sex "options" as legitimate options

ah yeah 

[ivankiss]

I've been approached by women several times before. In fact, the one I'm seeing now "picked me up" at my workplace. She was super persistent too. I said "no" a few times before "giving in" and going back to her place. I'm very glad I did. 

Some women are just like that. They like to make the first step. Might be less common, but definitely not weird or anything. I don't really like to "hit on girls"... Usually I either attract them to me or things just kinda happen on their own. 

[ivankiss]

@Twenty Wait, what? 

[Twenty]

@ivankiss nothing