Unvictim Behaviors And Getting Needs Met

[sgn]

I was wondering if you have any more suggestions to unvictim behaviors and ways to getting your needs met. Things that you can meet on your own or from help of other people. Here are some examples I know so far(taken from a book):

Unvictim behaviors:

Positive addictions and ongoing efforts to improve overall wellness, such as:

• Gratitude exercises
• Regular exercise
• Healthy diet
• Hobbies
• Gardening
• Crafts
• Adult education Courses
• Counseling or participation in a support group
• Quiet time to relax or meditate

Little things that you do for yourself periodically or for short stretches of time:

• Walking in the woods
• Taking a bubble bath
• Playing with your children
• Going to a concert or a museum
• Having a romantic candlelit dinner with your spouse

Getting your needs met-constructively:

Examples of needs:

• Love
• Acceptance
• Belonging
• Being cared about
• Closeness
• Safety
• Security
• Intimacy
• Encouragement
• An Identity
• Recognition
• Guidance
• Support

Examples of how to meet the needs:

Recognition:

• Volunteer work
• Get involved with a community theater group
• Chair or join a committee
• Run the PTA bake sale
• Coach a Little League team
• Or be more active and visible in other ways at work or in your community.

Guidance, support, or encouragement:

• Counseling
• Join a support group
• Get involved in a twelve-step recovery program
• Or listen to the suggestions that the people already in your life have to offer

 

 

I'm very interested in more examples and especially things I can do without the involvement of others. Some self-help stuff. 

[Sevi]

We can restate 'unvictim behaviours' also as 'being in charge of your part' this leads us to take responsibility of our part: even very simple small things like: Cleaning your desk at work or washing your dishes/clothes etc. in a daily or weekly basis, supports the sensation of being in charge.

 

[sgn]

@Sevi I see 

[Loreena]

What is unvictim behaviour ?

[sgn]

@Loreena Things you do that's in line with taking responsibility for your life and well being. Things you do to stop feeling like a victim.
Victim mentality gives the sense that life is unfair to you. You feel sorry for yourself. And think others should too. You try to comfort yourself in several ways which is often destructive. Examples to that can be: self -pity, judging others, not taking care of your health, alcohol, drugs, food, entertainment etc.

[Loreena]

@sgn I can think of these right now :

                                * Being strict with oneself (not taking oneself for granted)

                                 * Being critical of oneself

                                * talk therapy to deal with root causes of self-pity.   

                                  * taking someone's advice seriously  and working on their suggestions.  

                                    *   serious self-contemplation