Forum moderated to protect males

[no_name]

I wanted to make this post long time ago, but always decided against it.

This forum is 90% male dominated and the dating section is always full of misogynistic comments that no one reports for days. However, the second a woman writes something that remotely offends a male, it gets reported before you even get a chance to change it.

Mods, is it possible for you to keep this in mind already that posts from a woman will be reported way more? 

It is already very hard as a female to express yourself, god forbid if you’re a witty one and not tame, the boys here just can’t handle it and have to stalk your every post the moment you make it in order to aggressively dismiss and state that a woman is wrong/doesn’t know anything/is jealous/masculine/hostile etc.

Leo himself is letting all the abusive misogynist posts last on here for days and days to have “open discussion”, but I remember how when I made post about men paying for dates, he closed it the next day. How is this fair?

@Leo Gura is this forum meant to be a sausage party? Or is it possible to give women freedom for an open discussion without being attacked by 18474918474 heated boys and then, reasonably, perhaps getting angry back in return? 

Edited November 30, 2022 by no_name

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm sorry you're going through this experience. I think Leo should consider this. 

Maybe a lot of women can petition about this situation. 

Last time this was LEO'S response - 

 

I want to make this forum more welcoming to women.

 

There are two core issues here:

 

1) Men are simply biased by their sexual desires so they cannot think objectively about women. These biases are very deep and are not easily undone. And given the fact that something like 80% of my audience is male, it's sorta baked into the cake. As a man I also have some of these biases.

 

2) Redpill, Blackpill, Incel, and pickup ideologies have spread across the web like a virus and are difficult to undo. They are discussed here. Often we try to debunk them here.

 

With that said, our Mods certainly do reign in the worst elements of this. We could do better but also these biases and ideas simply arise by having a bunch of guys talking about dating in one place.

 

If you see clearly misogynistic posts, please report to a Mod or myself. But also remember that we cannot police all the bias out of people here. So try to distinguish between genuinely misogyny vs differences in perspective and natural bias. Part of learning to get better with women is seeing one's biases play the mselves out.

Edited November 30, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I'd suggest that you report such posts immediately and keep a track record of such users by collecting screenshots whenever you see those posts and save the links to the posts. 

Then submit all the evidence to Leo. That'd the only option which is viable.

 

[John Paul]

You’re in a stage green trap: you are protesting (in the form of a post) instead of collecting examples and making an actual case to submit to the authorities.

[no_name]

Just now, Something Funny said:

@no_name when was the last time that someone used hate speech against you specifically and wasn't punished by it?

What you did wasn't even some general remark, you direceted it at a specific user, trying to shut him down by using his ethnicity.

What if you were commenting on something and I replied to you saying:

"Are you Ukrainian? Ukrainian women are basically undatable because most of them are prostitutes and gold diggers, only interested in your wallet."

And used it to invalidate your opinion. Would it feel nice?

Dude leave me alone. I actually thought he was from India, because I thought I saw him make a post about how hard it is for Indian men to date in US. I made this comment because CULTURALLY in India it is accepted to be a misogynist and in US it’s not.

You don’t give two shits about me offending anyone. You are literally commenting under every one of my posts here even if I ask you not to because you got butthurt that one time I asked people in their early 20s not to reply to me. 

[Tyler Robinson]

@Something Funny her anger is sort of valid. Everytime she comes here, her threads are locked but there are so many threads that are hurtful to women but they are not locked. 

I think she doesn't feel welcome here and so do a lot of women. 

[no_name]

@Something Funny I’ve had to delete my posts in the past because of you, because the second I’ve posted it you’d comment with your annoying moralizing.

What more can I say at this point? What kind of decent treatment do you expect when you keep harassing someone with your lectures? I don’t need you to teach me right from wrong, I didn’t ask to be schooled. 
 

In what language do you need me to write to leave me alone? 
 

If you see my post, just pass by it, don’t comment. Or do you have a disease I should know about that makes you comment under my every damn post? 

[no_name]

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

Yeah, that's exactly my point. You actually thought he was from India and decided to attack him based on his ethnicity...

 

There exist such things as cultural norms, grow up. It’s because what he was saying was misogynist, not because out of the blue I decided to say it.

[Tyler Robinson]

@Something Funny I guess instead of talking so much, we need to really come up with solution for the toxic male users as you said. I mean how long can this go on? 

Most women are getting tired of this shit. We don't need to suffer so much and we don't deserve it. 

Yea I get those men need improvement. I get that. But I feel like we as women are having to pay the price with our self esteem for their bad attitude. 

It's not healthy you know. 

 

[no_name]

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

@no_name you can put me on ignore if I bother you so much.

@Tyler Robinson I understand your concerns about this being a male dominated forum with a lot of toxic male users. And even her being angry is valid in part, in my opinion. I am not arguing about that. I am just making a statement that it's not okay to attack people simply based on their race / nationality / enthnicity. And I am only commenting here because she obviously created this thread after I called her out on it.

Blocking you won’t make you stop making noise and throwing a tantrum reporting my posts every time I post. Leave me alone. You have some extreme issues with controlling your emotions - aka «истеричка».

You’ve done this multiple times on this forum already, and then you come back and apologize. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

10 minutes ago, no_name said:

CULTURALLY in India it is accepted to be a misogynist and in US it’s not.

 

If India is so misogyny tolerant why didn’t he get away with retaliating?  The dude simply hit back to stand up for himself and got dog piled for it.

[John Paul]

Y’all doin too much, go listen to some good music 

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Something Funny said:

Quote and report specific comments that you feel are offensive and are against guidelines. Just like I did in this case

Problem, at least for me, I don't know about other users, is that these reports are often just discarded because I guess nobody wants users to develop grudge etc you know what I mean social politics. 

 

[no_name]

4 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

You could have addressed his arguments without attacking him personally. Just like he addressed yours without attacking you personally.

But I do agree that what he was saying sounded misogynistic and probably even hurtful to you as a woman.

Again with the coulds and shoulds

Do you make everyone in your life say exactly what you want or otherwise you throw tantrums and lecture them for hours? How does anyone keep tolerating you at this point.

Edited November 30, 2022 by no_name

[Tyler Robinson]

@no_name are you Russian or Bulgarian, just asking out of curiosity? 

 

[no_name]

4 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Like come on! I am trying to be as nice to you as I possibly can even though we are arguing right now. But you just have to throw one hurtful comment after another at me. Do you really think that this is okay?

More moralizing. 

See my post 10 comments ago about how you’re harassing me and how I am not going to be NICE to someone who is constantly harassing me. 

Edited November 30, 2022 by no_name

[Jannes]

I think more female user could enrich the forum a lot, especially because a lot of people on this forum suffer from mental health issues, traumas, etc. and women are often better at going about it. 
I also think that if more females joined the forum the balance of power would swing. It’s easy to overtone a 10% minority, even if most don’t intend to, or don’t intend to to a high degree it just easily happens. I do think though that the average user here is more respectful then the average men in society and I see a lot (not all) of women hate getting called out right away. 
I think your post is good because it raises the awareness for men that some female user do suffer on this forum which isn’t all that obvious if you are not the victim. 

[no_name]

Just now, Jannes said:

I think more female user could enrich the forum a lot, especially because a lot of people on this forum suffer from mental health issues, traumas, etc. and women are often better at going about it. 
I also think that if more females joined the forum the balance of power would swing. It’s easy to overtone a 10% minority, even if most don’t intend to, or don’t intend to to a high degree it just easily happens. I do think though that the average user here is more respectful then the average men in society and I see a lot (not all) of women hate getting called out right away. 
I think your post is good because it raises the awareness for men that some female user do suffer on this forum which isn’t all that obvious if you are not the victim. 

There was a lot of really good women on this forum, really wise and their advice was always gold. They didn’t want to tolerate this abuse anymore, no healthy woman would want to be a part of this toxic community for long.

There were multiple posts similar to mine too, nothing changes. 

I feel the opposite though, I’ve never met men who would be as bad as they are here (some men here are also very wise though and give great advice, but majority is toxic and abusive). After being on this forum my view of men declined drastically.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, no_name said:

There was a lot of really good women on this forum, really wise and their advice was always gold. They didn’t want to tolerate this abuse anymore, no healthy woman would want to be a part of this toxic community for long.

There were multiple posts similar to mine too, nothing changes. 

I feel the opposite though, I’ve never met men who would be as bad as they are here (some men here are also very wise though and give great advice, but majority is toxic and abusive). After being on this forum my view of men declined drastically.

I agree. By the way are you Russian? 

[Jannes]

29 minutes ago, no_name said:

There was a lot of really good women on this forum, really wise and their advice was always gold. They didn’t want to tolerate this abuse anymore, no healthy woman would want to be a part of this toxic community for long.

There were multiple posts similar to mine too, nothing changes. 

I feel the opposite though, I’ve never met men who would be as bad as they are here (some men here are also very wise though and give great advice, but majority is toxic and abusive). After being on this forum my view of men declined drastically.

It’s the internet so it’s going to bring out the worst in people. 
Also because it’s mostly men, there is naturally a lot of men group thinking. If it were more diverse it would be different. 
And a lot of guys come here with problems and emotional baggage. So they often aren’t in a emotionally good state. 
I could imagine other male dominated places on the internet that are less focused on spirituality and truth look infinitely worse then this.

But of course the situation should be made better. More female mods could help for sure.