How true surrender feels like

[Galyna]

Buckle up, it is going to hurt if you are truly on the spiritual path. One day you will completely wrack your ego.

I have noticed an interesting thing about myself, and I am sure many of us can agree that when we’re hurting, there is this instant lever that launches a very uncomfortable process.

And what do we usually do at that moment? We keep seeking comfort, drawing in escapism, either through various distractions, food, or sex.

I have this image in my head how a person walks via Dolorosa (famous street in Jerusalem), crying as hard as he can. Then climbs a mountain of ascension, his feet are bleeding. Almost naked, wearing the white cotton cloth/long shirt (symbol of a spiritual purity), gives up his own body into the hands of God/Absolute/Love.  

Surrender truly hurts. If you are a controlling type, you will resist till you shed the last drop of blood.

Believe it or not, this process of struggling through life will exhaust the hell out of you. And when you can barely fight, ego surrenders. And probably it is going to be a turning point in your life, when surrender, once seemed so unattractive, would be a very desirable option.

This is how you understand if you’ve truly surrendered. You will welcome the pain and honor the process, because only this pain can hone your being by casting the last layers of your ego. Till one day you’ll feel absolutely naked, facing inevitable cessation of everything that has been so dear to your heart. This minute you will understand that you have surrendered: completely, totally, utterly.

Edited November 28, 2022 by Galyna

[Galyna]

@Proserpina thank you for being my Inspiration today. 

I am sorry if we have misunderstood each other.

[YogiCosmos]

Thank you for sharing Galyna.

Totally agree… Surrender is letting go of control. Once the ego fades away, we can then begin to act from openness and love.

But we must remember that surrender is not doing. It is non-doing, a letting go. It also isn’t the concept of letting go, but rather just being. When we truly let go, we relax and let unconditioned and unfiltered love shine forth. 

This is why waking up is difficult and can’t be done through conceptual understanding. We don’t truly surrender the ego mind and get stuck in concepts. When we relax and stop, we awaken. Stop for one moment and let grace flow through. Sometimes that’s enough to wake up.

As you continue your journey into awakening and beyond, continuous surrender is required to keep the process unfolding. Otherwise, you can get stuck. Can you fathom perpetual surrender? ?

Edited November 29, 2022 by YogiCosmos

[Proserpina]

Beautiful read!  Thank you. ❤️

Surrendering is a non-doing that can sink into every facet of who you are.  Influencing every facet of who you are.  For example, my personality has been deeply inexplicably influenced by it.  You surrender on every level. 

 

 

Edited November 29, 2022 by Proserpina

[Carl-Richard]

One day I'll be there.

[Guest Edvardas]

True surrender feels like you have completly lost authorship over your body and mind and you are controlled by the Divine. In other words, surrender is the letting go of personal will. 

It's difficult to remain in that state at first, because you have no idea what will happen next, but when bliss and Divine intelligence flow through your veins you know that all will be well.

[Holykael]

1 hour ago, Edvardas said:

True surrender feels like you have completly lost authorship over your body and mind and you are controlled by the Divine. In other words, surrender is the letting go of personal will. 

It's difficult to remain in that state at first, because you have no idea what will happen next, but when bliss and Divine intelligence flow through your veins you know that all will be well.

This sounds like heaven. I want it. But it doesn't happen. I'm tired of having the illusion of will. I've briefly experienced this state on a mushroom trip.

Edited November 29, 2022 by Holykael

[YogiCosmos]

The issue oftentimes is that people are unwilling to surrender that which blocks the natural flow of wisdom and love. People want to hold on to their ideas of wisdom and love instead of letting it naturally express itself. The key here is renouncing the ego. Relinquishing control.

Big thanks to Galyna for this thread. We need more feminine aspect of love and surrender to compliment the often dryness of masculine consciousness.

 

[Breakingthewall]

There is only one way to surrender: when you realize that what you were fighting against was yourself. you were creating an internal war where you fought against yourself. Surrender is realizing that control was impossible, a fiction, and the controller an illusion, so you don't need to let go because you realize you never had it. you spill into yourself and the distinctions begin to cease

Edited November 29, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[Razard86]

6 hours ago, Holykael said:

This sounds like heaven. I want it. But it doesn't happen. I'm tired of having the illusion of will. I've briefly experienced this state on a mushroom trip.

Let go of all judgment. Only judgment blocks it.

[Galyna]

@YogiCosmos @Proserpina @Carl-Richard @Edvardas @Holykael @Breakingthewall @Razard86

Thank you so much guys for stopping by and sharing with me your valuable thoughts. 

I do appreciate your participation and time.

I do not have that much time to reply to each individual today. But I read everything and took into consideration your ideas and thoughts. 

Have an awesome and magical day.

Here is a song for you to dance. 

Madonna - Like A Prayer (Official Video) - Bing video  

 

Edited November 30, 2022 by Galyna

[Galyna]

[Galyna]

46 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

Beautiful description ?

Thanks ? ♥️

[Moksha]

Beautiful, Galyna ? Reminds me of "Dark Night of the Soul" by St. John of the Cross. It is a desperate journey that moves you beyond the childlike euphoria of initial awakening, into the deep ocean of self-annihilation which is necessary for true God-realization. I love the commentary by Mirabai Starr:

This is a path of annihilation of the ego. But we must first be brought home to ourselves before we can bear to see our nothingness before God…It is less for those who are struggling to find themselves than it is for the ones who have a clear sense of self and are ready to purify it…

This is a path for those who use their suffering as a tool for transformation. In the dark night of each soul, we are simultaneously annihilated and immeasurably strengthened.

[Galyna]

11 minutes ago, Moksha said:

Beautiful, Galyna ? Reminds me of "Dark Night of the Soul" by St. John of the Cross. It is a desperate journey that moves you beyond the childlike euphoria of initial awakening, into the deep ocean of self-annihilation which is necessary for true God-realization. I love the commentary by Mirabai Starr:

This is a path of annihilation of the ego. But we must first be brought home to ourselves before we can bear to see our nothingness before God…It is less for those who are struggling to find themselves than it is for the ones who have a clear sense of self and are ready to purify it…

This is a path for those who use their suffering as a tool for transformation. In the dark night of each soul, we are simultaneously annihilated and immeasurably strengthened.

It is very interesting for you to mention it.

Today I was driving back home from work, and I was actually thinking about what you are saying for suffering, pondering if I should start a new thread on forum.

Every single moment of this ego's suffering was designed to lead this ego, Galyna, to awakening. Otherwise, she would never awake.

I know why I have never had something I have been wishing from all my heart. Because Absolute uses my desire as a carrot to show me the path to the Self. 

Then I have realized that it is a tool, unfulfilled desires are great tools toward self-realization. 

And now, think about it: absolutely all your dreams will come true, except one thing! There won't be you there anymore to enjoy them. 

Do you want your dreams to come true? Just move toward awakening, LOL

Edited November 30, 2022 by Galyna

[Moksha]

3 minutes ago, Galyna said:

I know why I have never had something I have been wishing from all my heart. Because Absolute uses my desire as a carrot to show me the path to the Self.

Tough love  It is easier to never see the face of God, than to realize it and then be exiled from its presence. You don't see the love in the banishment, but the torture of it is necessary to deepen the willingness to truly surrender.

On the cross, Jesus cried out: "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?".

When I first came to the forum, I had realized my true nature. It was like Charlie's adventures in the Chocolate Factory. My life completely changed, and my suffering was all but gone. Still, I sensed that awakening wasn't enough. I still needed to be purified, to the point where I so deeply realized the emptiness of myself, that I desired nothing else than reunion with God.

I looked into the mirror,
And saw the face of God.
Besmitten by its beauty,
I lost myself completely.

With loving kindness, God
Seeing through me,
Breathed upon the mirror,
Misting the reflection of myself.

Abandoned to my terror,
I searched the darkened mirror,
Desperately reaching for
Reunion.

God continues watching,
And sometimes, in the mirror,
I see its face, my face,
Gently smiling, knowing.

[Galyna]

4 minutes ago, Moksha said:

that I desired nothing else than reunion with God.

I actually want it more than anything now. I am here and there but it is not permanent...

Nice poem, have you written it?

Edited December 1, 2022 by Galyna

[Moksha]

@Galyna ?Thank you, yes I wrote it during the dark night. Wanting it more than anything, even to the terrifying brink of annihilation, is the price of ultimate reunion. The personality doesn't have to actually die, just become translucent enough for Consciousness to shine through it as the true Self. Ironically, the attempts of the self to see the face of God, however apparently sincere, are never enough. True surrender is an act of grace.

I like this quote from Tim Harrington:

The central paradox of the spiritual path is that in striving to transcend the self, we actually build it up. Our holy solutions invariably calcify into grotesque casts of ego. The dark night is God's solution to our solutions, dissolving our best-laid constructions anew into the mystery of grace. It happens in spite of our best efforts to resist it. But thank God it happens.

Edited December 1, 2022 by Moksha

[Galyna]

@Moksha I can not agree more.

Thank you so much that we have such a wonderful community of people here.

I am so lucky to be here on this platform. 

[Moksha]

@Galyna I completely agree, and your contributions to the forum are sincerely appreciated. Thank you for starting this thread. The value of suffering and surrender is a deep insight that doesn't get discussed often enough on the forum.